I would remind SO that his son sees SO being a ball-less spine-less wonder heeping his nose up the butt of the little princess who clearly has SO's balls in her sticky little whiney hands.

He owes his bride and his son far more than that IMHO.

Do not waste the next four years to see if he fixes it. Put your foot up his ass now and let him kow that it is immediately fixed or he is done as your partner.

Never sacrifice  yourself on the altar of SParental martyrdom to a mates failed family baggage. They owe you the duty of being your mate and you and the marriage being their priority including parenting to your standards if they do not have the spine to establish effective standards.

One instance comes to mind was  when me and the Disneyland Dad went on a couples date after dropping his spawns off with their breeder for the conclusion of their every weekend visits. 
 

Now you would think those kids would be satisfied to have frequent visits and phone calls but because they were codependent mini spouses nothing was ever enough and they'd blow him up (on his mobile B*tch Beck n call 24/7 hotline) right after their visit (always asking random a$$ questions like "dad where is my shirt that I left in my moms living room?" Or "dad where is the peanut butter in moms pantry?" ... like how tf is he supposed to know where stuff is in your moms house?!?)

Well I'd had enough of all of them but I was committed to this date/time ALONE without his meddling exwife using her footsoldiers to secure her agenda (aka use her unruly spawns to run me off so she could have him at her beck n call not mine) and as were pulling out the driveway (glad I elected to drive) he realize "oh sh*t I forgot my phone" 

Girl I backed out that driveway and sped off like the cartel was chasing me down the 385

I knew good and damn well those kids were going to blow him up constantly to try to interrupt our date for their selfish purposes and he was going to allow it (because what Disneyland parent has good boundaries with their kids?)

He started tweaking and going into mild anxiety and I quietly in my mind laughed at the dopamine hits I was getting from indirectly rendering his exwife's mobile ping service inoperable 

We were gone on a nice date where we could finally focus on each other without his exwife and spawns interjecting 

Let me tell you his narcissistic tendency failed former family cannot handle not being the center of attention for 4 hours. 
 

His manipulative (I only say this because she learned the behavior from her conniving breeder) mini spouse daughter blew his phone UP for 4 hours sending non stop texts, calls, and voicemails. She even sent images of herself fake crying looking like she'd been kidnapped into someone's basement as a way to guilt trip him to respond instantly to her. When that didn't work she called again claiming she thinks he's deceased. 
 

When he finally got back to his phone his a$$ was of course going into guilt riddled Disney dad syndrome like "oh my precious kid though I was unalived" 

I called them all out and said

First of all unless you're in a g@ng / someone actively put a hit out on your life normal sane people aren't going to assume you're in heaven after 4 hours of the day not hearing from you. 24 hrs and you don't hear from someone? Perhaps. 4 hours?!? Absolutely not. Your daughter is a preteen and old enough to know better. 
 

Secondly it's totally inappropriate to not set boundaries with your kids and tell them there are times you will be busy and unless it's an emergency then you will talk to them when you are available.  

And finally if your exwife heard her daughter crying (we all know it was fake but for the benefit of the doubt let's say she really was crying) then what kind of mother would sit there and let her kids have full blown panic attacks without doing anything to comfort them?!? WTF is wrong with your trifling ex wife that she act like she can't be bothered with her kids during her parenting time?!! And why the h3ll your daughter with a cellphone couldn't call her aunts, uncles, or whoever to confirm (if she really thought you were unalived) instead of stew in fake anxiety?!? 
 

Pissed me off to see the dumbfounded look on his face as I not only refused to be emotionally blackmailed like he had been but also debunked every one of his theories his manipulative failed former family used to leverage guilt to keep him in check 

Anyways after over two years of dealing with his Disneyland antics, his gaslighting after I confront him about his unmanly behavior, and his manipulative conniving exwife and spawns who didn't fall to far from the tree .... I left  because I got tired of expending energy on those peoples dysfunction