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Why are men idiots when it come's to their children from first marriage?

RB's picture

Submitted by RB on Fri, 09/10/2010 - 7:52pm

Can someone please tell me why men are idiots when it comes to their children from their first marriage? My DH gave my SS 28 a key to the house for when we are not around to let him in when he is visiting. Now SS 28 just shows up whenever he pleases, doesn't let us know when he is coming to our house, showers, has a beer, eats, and then leaves the mess for me to clean up usually before we are even home from work and then returns late at night or not until the next day. We don't get to visit him, he just uses our home for a free shower and free food. I requested that my husband not give him a key, but my DH went ahead and did it anyway. I wouldn't mind SS 28 coming to visit if he was truly visiting and would appreciate SS 28 asking if he could come to visit instead of just flopping here and using the facilities and barely even saying hello to his brothers and father. I feel like my privacy is walked all over every time I get a surprise visit from SS 28.

Comments

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 09/11/2010 - 4:35am

My wife, my brother, my SIL and I all have a key to my parents house.

However, when we are there it is primarily to visit with mom and dad. I will occasionally spend time with friends when visiting mom and dad. We did live in the same city for more than 15 years but primarily we are there to visit my parents.

I think it is time to change the locks if your SS is only using your home as a flop house.

IMHO or course.

Best regards,

tofurkey's picture

Submitted by tofurkey on Sat, 09/11/2010 - 6:30am

That was messed up for your DH to give SS a key even after you asked him to please not to. Gotta love that blatant disrepsect huh? And apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the tree with his kid.

You should tell you're husband you're upset that he gave SS a key after you asked him not to and that you are not comfortable with him coming into the house whenever he pleases to shower and eat then leave. I would tell him that he either needs to get the key back or the locks will be changed.

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Sat, 09/11/2010 - 1:43pm

I would change the locks and let DH stay with SS28 for a few days - it is your house tell DH you are changing the locks - it does no good to get the key back he will just make another copy. Also if he is going to use the house then he can clean up after himself - or I would get a lock on the bathrooms and the refrigerator that will keep him out.

BitterSM's picture

Submitted by BitterSM on Sat, 09/11/2010 - 4:54pm

yuck sorry, I would be more upset w/DH than SS at this point. Maybe next time SS is over you should ask him for a key to his place so you can let yourself in when he's not around. Might make a point....

Stpma's picture

Submitted by Stpma on Sat, 09/11/2010 - 4:56pm

Uhh.... we have a key to my DH's father and stepmother's house. We've had it for years and maybe used it once. I think the problem is SS 28 you must ask him to respect you and your house.

RB's picture

Submitted by RB on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 4:09pm

All good comments. My DH is suppose to have a talk with SS 28 about his "Piggyness" and about arriving unannouced. I've already changed the locks, so I doubt changing them again will make a difference as DH will just give SS 28 the key anyhow. Although, I'm tempted to change the locks out just to make a point. I'm getting burned out on all of this. It seems like the harder I push back the more difficult my life becomes.

Oh, and I did bring up the point that I could just get a key to SS 28's house and go in, unannounced, bring my dogs in like he does, eat his food, mess up the kitchen and the bathroom, snoop around, drink his beer, and just generally make a mess in his house and leave just to even things up a bit.