The kid bared his soul about his BioDad and the SpermClan
After overhearing the blow out between his Mom and SpermGrandMa the skid bared his soul about his visitation life with the SpermClan.
Though his mom and I have consistently commited to him that we would never deny him a relationship with his BioDad and the SpermClan the kid expressed that he was always been concerned that we would not let him go on visitation if he told us about his life in SpermLand.
Just as sample of what he purged about for over two hours.
1. SS and his three younger also out-of-wedlock half sibs by two other mothers hate BioDads girlfriend. She has an extensive arrest record and has abandoned a half dozen or so of her own children.
2. BioDad sneaks her out of his bedroom window anytime SpermGrandMa or the kids (SS and his three younger half sibs) show up at BioDads residence. *The SpermGrandParents own the house BioDad lives in and he pays no rent.
3. BioDad rarely spends time with any of his spawn and none of them considers him more than a really old baby sitter who lets them run amok periodically.
4. Out-of-wedlock spawn number 2 will not allow BioDad to walk her down the isle when she marries because he is "not a father". She just turned 14.
5. BioDad incessantly lies to the kids and SpermGrandMa about things he does then blows his stack when he is caught in the lie. He rants that he is an adult, can do what he wants in his home and the kids nor SpermGrandMa have anythign to say about it. He conveniently forgets that he lives rent free in a dwelling provided by his mommy adn daddy and he is not 18yo but 40yo.
6, 7, 8, 9, 10....................... To come later after I get some sleep.
Though we knew all of this from various sources in BioDad's community it was interesting to have SS vocalize what we have been concerned about exposing him to during visitation.
Once again we were right about the idiot BioDad. Though this is one of those times when I wished dearly I was wrong. I would so much rather that SS not have to deal with the idiocy brought by the polluted end of his gene pool.
It is sad to know that my SS knows that his "father" :sick: is a morally bankrupt, characterless, juvenile idiot with absolutely zero redeeming qualities.
A notable Kid, Mom Stepdad bonding experience but a little sad. 
Too bad parents cannot perform retroactive abortions on their adult idiot children. BioDad would be a perfect adult child abortion candidate. Even if legal SpermGrandMa is too stupid to recognize the opportunity to put the world out of its misery by aborting her idiot adult son. Instead she continues to feed him womb candidates to impregnate, attempts to rationalize and justify her abject failure as a parent and is sacrificing my SSs younger three out-of-wedlock half sibs to the idiot parenting style Gods.
I feel for the half sibs. Those poor kids are so screwed. My SS at least has an extended BlendedFamily and two reasonably successful and mostly caring full time parents to guide him away from a fate of repeating his SpermDonor's (Sorry CG) mistakes.
Best regards,
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Comments
Wow Rags..... He's so lucky
Wow Rags..... He's so lucky he has you and his Mom.
Rags, I think this is why
Rags, I think this is why many of us who have children with less than stellar dads continue to allow our children to have a relationship with them. I know for me personally, I let my son visit with his dad because he will have to come to conclusions about his father on his own. I will do nothing but answer any questions he may have, which means I won't bash or try to sway him. He will form his opinion on his own.
And I feel like the ideal your son has about BioDad has worn off long before this conversation. The daydreams we have about the parent that doesn't live with us having fun and taking us places start to fade as we enter our teens years.
I know sometimes he can be alittle hard headed, but I think you have a smart boy on your hands
GiGi, My wife and I have
GiGi,
My wife and I have worked very hard over the years to make sure that we do not bash or vent about BioDad in front of the Kid.
I wish I could honestly say we had been entirely successful but that would not be true. He has overheard many blow ups between SpermGrandMa and my wife. Many late night loudly wispered vent sessions between my wife and I over the SpermClan drama. We have used the facts of BioDad's decisions as examples of what not to do when we are particulary concerned about BioDads latest idiot decision.
We try not to use the sensationalist wording when talking to SS about the issues that we use between just my wife and I. We try to stick to the facts and go in to professional vocabulary mode when we are having these discussions with SS. Unfortunately we have not been entirely successful in shielding him from our true opinion of his SpermClan.
Yep, he is a good young man with a whole lot of growing up to do.
Interestingly, my son flunked out of boarding school because of his WOW (World of WarCraft) addiction. BioDad just got fired for missing work due to marathon WOW sessions.
Last night my SS indicated that he now understood why his mom and I are so vocal about his gamming problem.
The sad thing to me is that my SS (17)and the younger three out-of-wedlock half sibs #2 (14), #3 (10) and #4 (8)all know that their BioDad is completely without redeeming qualities.
I could not imagine my own Father not being the most upstanding male role model and influence in my life. For these four kids, SpermGrandMa is the best male role model in the SpermClan. It is pretty sad when the only set of balls in the whole gene pool are in the pants of a psychotic woman ans she is the only man in the whole family.
Thanks for your input.
Best regards,
He is not yet 18. 76 days
He is not yet 18. 76 days until the joyous day that he ages out from under the visitation judgmement and we never again have to deal with SpermGrandMa drama over making travel arrangements.
Though the frequency will go down significantly I am sure that he will continue to visit BioDad and the rest of SpermClan. Whether he wants to or not SpermGrandMa will guilt him in to it. The frequency will reduce because his mom and I will no longer pay any of the travel costs for him to go to SpermLand.
I have counciled him that once he turns 18 to not get on a plane to SpermLand unless he has a round trip ticket in hand. SpermGrandMa is manipulative enough to play the "we can only affor a 1way ticket right now, we will buy the return before you leave" in an effort to assimilate him fully in to the idiot SpermClan.
As for Nurture Vs. Nature ..... I dont believe that is a binary (either or) comparison. I believe that both nurture and nature are at play to varying degrees in each person.
To my long standing chagrin nature certainly has raised its ugly head in my SS periodically.
Best regards,
Can you imagine if the only
Can you imagine if the only father figure in his life was his spermdad? Wow... It reminds me of my own son. His sperm dad fits the description of your son's spermdad. He is a loser, He has gotten other women pregnant, doesn't work, etc... Then there is DH... My son's REAL father, he was the 1st male to ever hold my son at 1 week old, we got married when he was 7 months, etc... DH is a responsible, loving father that will add some structure in my son's life. My son is 2.5 years old, but I am sure (hope) that one day, when he becomes a young man, he will be very thankful that he was able to grow up with a dad like DH and not with the loser sperm-spreader...
Vick, I am not sure why he
Vick,
I am not sure why he chose to purge at O:Dark:30 this morning. But he obviously needed to talk about his feelings with someone other than his three younder half sibs. I think that more than anything the knock down drag out between his Mom and SpermGrandMa cracked the seal on his stress build up over graduation, SpermClan issues, and the Ragsclan's pending relocation back to TX.
I also think that what he overheard from SpermGrandMa made him realize that BioDad is not the only seriously flawed "adult" in the SpermClan. Though she is a complete waste of skin, SpermGrandMa is the only person in the SpermClan who gives a shit about the kids. In part I think he realized that there really is no one in the SpermClan who is a viable adult and he feels like he has to deflect as much of the crap away from his younger sibs as he can.
He commented that he was begining to realize that the best way to help his sibs is to go to college so he can afford to help when they need it.
I was both touched and concerned by that. I do not want him missing out on making an amazing life for himself because he is driven by guilt about his younger sibs.
My wife struggles with this. Her three younger sibs (28/26/22)are all struggling and she feels guilty over her/our success.
He told us that he was worried that we would not let him visit the SpermClan if we new what was really going on. Though we regularly have told him we would never deny visitaton and have on a few occassions given extra time and paid for their half of travel costs when they were on the verge of destitution.
He also told us that he had been considering buckling to SpermGrandMa's pressure to stay for 7wks rather than the Court Ordered 5 because he was afraid that we had signed him up for the Marine Corps and were going to dump him at boot camp the day after his birthday. With some pulling of teeth he shared that SpermGrandMa had planted that crap in his head.
With a bit of discussion he agreed that forced enlistment did not pass the smell test and was not remotely an option and the only person who could sign enlistment papers is him. But, I believe he was just paranoid enough to let SpermGrandMa get in to his head.
I am so ready for a well placed meteor strike to take out the whole adult population of that gene pool.
The kids might actually have a chance if the adults were pushing up daisys.
Best regards,
Rags.. there is so many
Rags.. there is so many things that touch me about this story... and one of them is how compassionate YOUR son turned out to be. You and your wife did a great job, you know. The kid has empathy and intelligence. He is worried about his younger sibs and cares what happens to them.
Don't be surprised if he continues to do visitation, if for nothing else than to be there for his younger siblings.
I hope you and your wife take comfort and pride that your son turned out to be a "stand-up guy" and that through him.. you probably have touched the lives of his siblings as well.
(Also - congrats on his graduation!!)
Thanks Stick, I don't
Thanks Stick,
I don't remember if I shared this part of the discussion yet but SS also said that even though he has really not enjoyed visitation for many years he feels like he has to go to give his half sibs a break from being the focus of BioDad and SpermGrandMa's idiocy.
He apparently runs interference between the kids and the idiots when he is there.
Yep, overall he has turned out pretty well.
His Mom and I are proud of him.
Eventually he will make it to viable adulthood and become a man of standing in his community.
How long it will take remains to be seen.
Best regards,