Territory
Okay, I really try to keep a level head, I do. He was the one who told me to never let that...rhymes with "bundt," into the house. Apparently, that only holds when someone other him is making the decisions!!!!
I had always thought, that if it were me, I'd want to know what kind of situation my kids were living in when they weren't in my care. I thought I should give her the opportunity to see for herself that the house is safe, sanitary, and not filled with dungeons where the kids are shackled when not being forced to perform manual labor. HE's the one that nixed that idea; for two years he's filled my head with stories of the horror that is his ex-wife.
Apparently, while I was at the office, BM and sd12 came by the house to pick up something left behind, and sd12 wanted to show BM her room. DF let them in and gave the tour! Please keep in mind, this is MY house; I own it, and bought it after I divorced my first husband (three years before I met DF). The house isn't ours, it's MINE. And I'd always thought I should invite her in, once, to see that the kids had a good place here and weren't being forced to sleep in the coal bin. So why am I so pissed off that he let her in to the house? Because I HAD NO SAY IN IT. I hate the idea that that @^nt was in my modest 3 br/1ba home, congratulating herself on landing a man that gives her custom imported Mercedes and ensures she never has to worry about making the mortgage payment.
When did I lose my self-respect, and become so stinking petty? I really don't like myself this way. I keep trying to remember that I earned where I am in life (good career, nice home, low debt, on my way to a good retirement), but I can't help it. I feel a stab of envy that this entitled piece of crap will always be better off than I am, with less effort, and will always be looking down on my accomplishments because her daddy owned a business and her mommy is willing to employ her in it even though she doesn't even have a GED.
How small and crappy a person do I have to be to not be able to get past this?
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I have felt the same way many
I have felt the same way many times but I started saying she has her treasures here on earth - mine will be up in heaven - it does not seem fair that with no effort they get to live better and not really work for it!!
PS - this does not make your small or crappy - it just makes you wonder why things can not be easier for you who are a good person and everything goes the way of the evil BM's - no rhyme or reason to it!!
Thank you!!! I keep trying
Thank you!!! I keep trying to hold on to the idea that what I have I earned, while what she has she was just "handed."
^^ this^^ what CG said I
As much as I hate it, and it
As much as I hate it, and it makes me miserable... I also feel that green poison many times... it really ISNT fair the amount of work that I put in for what I have, and somehow she magically gets everything... not fair at all... I try to disengage from that, but it really is hard... if it makes you feel better, there are many others in this same boat... but I like the first comment about treasures in heaven... I forget the actual chapter or book in the bible where it states this... but whenever I start to feel awful, I remember the vese "God will not forget the work you have done, or the love you have shown." And instantly I feel better. Good luck &<3
So she has an imported
So she has an imported mercedes and all the things money can buy. She obviously has the personality of a wet fish laying in a pile of dog poop so what is there to be jealous of?