That really is the question. I have been pretty good at stepping back and letting my partner deal with his kids when they act out, and as brother and sister, they do frequently! However, I calmly, but using my outside voice, lost it on the daughter for disrespecting/harrassing her dad when begging him to put something together for her NOW and not the next morning like he said. If I hear her say "I want it done now!" and "thats not fair!" one more time because her not so urgent need is not being met... UGHHH!