I'm sorry honey. You've really done all you can. If he's going to turn his back on you (LITERALLY) then there's not much more you can do.

If this were me? I'd say "I don't appreciate you treating me like I've done something wrong. If you don't want to talk about what's bothering you, fine, we don't have to. But this cold shoulder is bullshit and I won't tolerate being treated this way"

You've tried the nice way, so you can either call him out on his shitty treatment of you for no reason, or you can simply ignore it all and hope he comes around. You know your DH best.

I wish you luck. That has to be so uncomfortable and you don't deserve that.

^^^^^ this^^^^^.

And can I add..your DH is an idiot for what he is doing. It seems like he WANTS you to feel bad.

I'm sorry, I recognise the behaviour and I understand how it feels. Whenever my H was conflicted over something to do with his ex or the children he would shut down while continuing to pretend nothing was wrong. Often he was in denial that he was actually stressed or worried about it and that contributed to his inability/refusal to talk about it. He is not one to chit chat about his thoughts and feelings at the best of times.

Over a period of years I also began using the 'own medicine' approach and withdrawing. It made me stressed and unhappy because I am a person who likes to talk things out, but I couldn't see any other option and was motivated by resentment and hurt. Unable to recognise that his own behaviour had caused it he would then blame me for shutting him out.

Over a period of years it became a damaging pattern, causing days and sometimes weeks at a stand off. It becomes increasingly difficult to come back from that kind of stand off and resume a sense of closeness and can cause major damage to the relationship. As an occasional strategy to make someone recognise their own behaviour it can be effective, but if it happens repeatedly it's a bad sign.

As tempting as it can be, don't punish him for withdrawing while stressed. Two wrongs don't make a right. It's probably better than him spouting at the mouth recklessly without thinking first.

Maybe now that he is trying to engage you he's ready to talk.

Explain to him that until he tells you what is wrong you will assume the worst and he doesn't want that. Intimacy is important and that means open communication. He needs to talk to you before you can't take it anymore. The longer he waits the more sure you will become of the horrible thoughts playing in your head.

I am so sorry he is acting an ass.

When we found out that BM was (finally!) getting married AND having another paycheck - er, baby, my DH did a happy dance!! As did I. No matter what the circumstances, it would be very hard not to be offended by his mood.

I am sorry as well. My DH was overjoyed when BM got another sucker to marry her, but, he shuts me out, shuts down, uses the silent treatment as punishment, and acts like your DH is all the time over other things. It is very frustrating and very hard to stomach and ignore. Men in general tend to avoid when women want to talk it all out, but some men, use this to their advantage and do these hurtful things on purpose and it is emotionally draining. I have found too, thru trial and error, that the best way to combat this is to just pretend like he doesn't exist, then it is, "why are you not talking to me", after a bit. These men want you to scream, cry, beg, plead, for them to talk, it is a power thing. Twisted, but true, and if you don't give them that it is no longer to their advantage. Sorry again, and I feel your pain!