I do not spank SD11. Even if she was younger, I still wouldn't do it. I don't have biokids of my own, but I am sure if I did, I probably wouldn't allow the stepdad to physically discipline the child.

I wouldn't let my wife discipline my sons from another relationship, and I wouldn't get physical with hers on the discipline level. I don't neccessarily thinks its a bad thing if needed, but there seems to be a division between spouses when the non-bio parent asserts on that level. For my situation, our children were all 10 and 11 when we married...and so their "programming" was basically established. My skids have a dad, albeit an often absent one, and I really believe that it is he who has to be the male enforcer, and he who will ultimately answer for how his children turned out (or didn't turn out in my case) I enter the discipline scene when the skids impose on my children or my personal space. I leave it there...but that is only me, and keep in mind that I have basically exhausted any hopes of the skids having much motivation or respect in our home; they had issues when I met their mom, and those issues are cememted in them now. I can't change them, and I basically have withdrawn myself from their lives except to pass them in the house everyday.