Christmas
OK, I KNOW it's early but I generally like to get it done early.
I'll do the bulk of my Christmas shopping in October then all I have to do in December is decorate and pick up some little last minute things.
This year we have skids christmas eve and christmas morning.
I actually love, love, love christmas shopping, picking out things, wondering what someone will like, then finding it, wrapping it, etc.
This year...it's the idea of buying for the skids that has me in a frump. I really want to go out and start picking things out for everyone I care about but I really don't feel like getting a damned thing for them. I can't do that, I know, it's just that my heart isn't in it. They don't appreciate anything and I just can't get myself in the mood to pick out anything for them. It's putting a real damper on my ideas this year. I've got several things picked out for my DD3 but then I remember the skids are going to be here and my mood sinks.
I don't want to be unfair. I don't my child to have a lovely christmas and the skids only have token things chosen half-heartedly.
I wish I could recapture the excitement of previous years, before I gave up on them becoming decent, compassionate, independent people, before dealing with a crazy BM made me no longer give a sh*t about them.
Maybe I'll be in a better mood next week. This is the first year ever in my life that I wasn't ultra-excited about christmas shopping. When I remember that they'll be here, the idea of christmas shopping becomes more of a chore than a fun thing.
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I tell you what me and my dh
I tell you what me and my dh does. I shop for my kids and he shops for his kids. What ever we get is what we want to get for kids. If I want to pick somehting up for his kids I will and if he wants to pick something for my kids he will. We don't have to but normally we always pick up a little something for each others kids. however I have noticed that dh doesn't get as much for his kids as I do for mine. What I do is this before the big day i always take inventory and hold back a few things for my kids and give them that while skids are at their moms getting their gifts from her while mine are getting gifts for their mom. I look at it this way if skids are getting gifts form their mom why can;t my kids get gifts form their mom at the same time? Good luck
Yes I totally understand!
Yes I totally understand! Last year did it for me. I have my daughter every Christmas she is with her dad on Christmas Eve till 9pm. Well last year he got her a DSI..no I didn't agree with it because she already had a DS just like the my bf kids have but they also wanted DSI's but I said it was just to much money to go out and buy one just for the camera..get them cheap digital cameras...but my point wasnt my fault my ex got her one...I had no doing in it...he gets her what he wants...my bf went off.
So I said this year he can go get what he wants he said I talked him out of it because I knew my daughter was getting one...ummm HELLO grow up!
So what I try to do with his girl and mine because they are around the same age is buy things alike but kind of different. Yes I hate also the thought of buying his she-devil anything cause all she deserves is rocks and I think they are to good but I will do what I know I should as the adult in this and go out shopping for her as I would my own child. Because deep down under all the ugly she causes and brings forth there is a child!
Wow, that sounds like my
Wow, that sounds like my ex-husband. He chose his alcohol before me, many times. I even dressed up super sexy one night, and he chose to go get hammered with his friends. I told him when he got home that I hoped he and his closet butt buddies had a great night together, because he wasn't getting anything from me. In fact, his drinking is why he is now an ex. He literally, the day I moved out, chose to get drunk with his buddy from work. He came home to an empty house.
I like the idea of sending
I like the idea of sending Dad out to buy gifts for his own children. It sort of makes sense to me... especially if you are in a rut. I'm sort of lucky that we don't really go crazy at Christmas, so it's fairly easy. :)That's what grandparents are for
I dread christmas shopping.
I dread christmas shopping. I could shop endlessly for my kids, they have interests, I know what they like, and they enjoy many different things. SD is a whole different story.
Every year it goes the same way. Around this time of year I ask DH to think what he wants to get SD. I throw around some ideas for my kids, usually by now they've given some suggestions since they know that bigger ticket items are more likely to become x-mas gifts. He has no idea what to get her. She doesn't have any real interests, hobbies.
If I buy her similar things to my DD she hates it. If I don't she is jealous. If I let DH shop for her and I shop for mine it becomes very unfair since his ideas of a nice christmas aren't as much as mine. I don't buy for my kids all year, christmas is a big thing for them. SD gets all year long.
Then a week before x-mas, SD will give us a list of very specific items, from what store they are at, how much they are, what color she wants. By then we are done shopping and she gets none of it.
It is all very stressful and I love christmastime in general. The whole shopping thing almost ruins it for me.
Well I would make sure that
Well I would make sure that SD writes a list now...give her deadline and if she doesn't meet it buy her what ever the heck you guys want! I mean it would be hard to buy for someone who gets it all year long. I dont buy things all year long because I just dont have that kind of money....so when they make it list I always say just because its on this list doesnt mean your gonna get it but will try to get some of the things and the things that I want to get them
What happened to the real meaning of Christmas!
Well ya know what
Well ya know what Spunki...even though she always probably expects her dad and mom to get her things....go get her just one that is just from you! I mean for me probably hard as hell to go get that little she-devil anything extra special but get her when she least expects it!
How about a couple of items
How about a couple of items from the dollar store?? LOL
EXACTLY - my DH had the nerve
EXACTLY - my DH had the nerve to say to me that I should make my own ice instead of buying bags at the store (I drink almost exclusively ice water LOTS of ice). I came down on him SO HARD about that and about how much money he spends on BEER every week and he'd better lay the hell off about the piddly amount I spend on ICE!
Ick - beer breath - I know
Ick - beer breath - I know the feeling. :sick:
About the only positive thing about the money he spends on beer is that most of the stores around here give you a free bag of ICE! LOL
We had a talk about getting separate accounts and what each person should contribute now that we don't have rent/house payment (yay!) and he couldn't BELIEVE that his portion was going UP. He said how can it go UP when we have no more rent??!? I said because before I never made you pay what you SHOULD have been paying for your HALF!
That's what he gets for whining. I will cut into his beer money a little!!
YES to the laptop and
YES to the laptop and television BUT it STAYS AT YOUR HOUSE!!!!!!!
DH and I always get the kids
DH and I always get the kids all the same thing to be from "Santa". No...they don't still actually believe, but it's fun for everyone. The one from Santa is the "big" gift (ex. last year, they got new TV's for their rooms). When the kids are making their lists, they cut out pictures from newspapers, etc so that we can be sure we get the exact right thing. As they get older, it isn't as hard to figure out the lists, but it still helps with all the different video games they like. I generally do most of the shopping, but over the years, DH has realized that I hate shopping as much as he does, so he will join me once or twice to help me get it done. Like a few others here, I am generally done by now, but this year...I haven't even started, but probably will Friday while the kids are at school, since I am off work and DH is going out of town.
I love the holiday season from Thanksgiving to New Years, but my favorite part is the week of Christmas, I am off work, the kids are out of school and I bake like a mad woman! I just love it. Something that my dad used to share with me, so now, even though dear, sweet daddy is no longer here...I continue our tradition.
I just give the SS - $125.00
I just give the SS - $125.00 and hide it somewhere in the house and make him go and look for it. If he doesn't find it I get to keep it - too bad every year he manages to find the money even though he can't find a glass to drink with or a plate to eat off of - lol
2 adult step-children and 1
2 adult step-children and 1 adult child of my own. BD actually APPRECIATES the gifts she gets for Christmas, therefore she gets NICE things! SS likes the nice gifts, not sure about appreciation as I'm not sure he was taught that aspect of life. SD makes babies and sucks the system dry....thinking I'll give her a copy of my tax return wrapped in a bow with the massive amount I owe each April highlighted (all pertinent information blacked out, of course!) just to show her that she gets far far far more than any of the rest of us!!!! Yup...I'm evil....
I'm with confused!! Like I
I'm with confused!! Like I said in my other post HE shops for his kids and I shop for mine!
This reminds me - I need to
This reminds me - I need to get lists from my SKs. I generally don't have a problem getting anything for my SKs. I have DH coordinate with the X's to make sure they don't get duplicate gifts but I usually make DH go with me at some point to get some of the gifts for his kids so we can honestly say the gifts are from both of us. I think this year i'm setting a dollar limit to make sure I don't go too crazy.
We go to MILS on x-mas eve.
We go to MILS on x-mas eve. X-mas day we split between me and him, my mother's and his dad's. DH shops for his daughter. We always get a text from BM saying "SD 'needs' this this this this and this for Christmas." Thannnnnksssss bm, what would we do without you?
I like the 'he shops for his
I like the 'he shops for his and I shop for mine' attitude. I wonder how that works when we have an 'ours'?
Maybe that's what I'll do. I'll get the 'Santa' gifts and let him do whatever else. If we do that he'll wait till the very, very last minute to get anything then he'll probably say 'oh, they are getting enough.
I can get them token gifts. I just don't want to have it really lopsided where my children get much more but....not my problem, right?
I understand the whole disengagement thing on an intellectual level, it's the emotional bit I have trouble with. I hate to be unfair. I don't like myself when I think in terms of 'they aren't mine therefore it's not my responsibility to worry about their feelings'. I'm working on it though.
Thanks for all your advice. I'm feeling better now.
Poisonapples think of it this
Poisonapples think of it this way if one year it is lo sided and they don;t get as much your dh will only have himself to blame so when the skids say something to him he just might step it up the next year.
I stopped (sorta) shopping
I stopped (sorta) shopping for ss last year. Dh always bitched because he "felt" the other kids got more gifts-didnt matter if they actually did or not-it just "felt" that way to him. He has to have the same as the other kids even though he will also get gifts at bm's. So I told him-no more-if you don't like what I pick out u can handle it. This year dh got him a bike. One gift. That's it-compared to the 10 or so I usualy get him and that the other kids got. But I ended up feeling sorry for the little bugger so I went out and picked him up 3 or 4 other gifts. Dh never said a word.
Oh, also what I hate is that
Oh, also what I hate is that ss has to have gifts that he can take home to bm's. Like last year we got all the kids dvd players for their rooms. The two girls share and ss and bs share. So this is something that ss will use during his visits-but according to dh that doesn't count. It sorta irks me that we pay money for nice gifts that he takes up there and his younger sibling likely breaks or ss leaves outside because noone care to remind him to pick it up (it wasnt bought with their money after all).