Those with bio children with SO and steps
Do you consider your children siblings of your steps (if they are half siblings)? Obviously I know my boys are 1/2 siblings of dh's first children, but I have a really hard time feeling like that.
I would be so ashamed if my children were like his first children. I mean really, I have a 13 ss who can barely read and they are all immature assholes for lack of a better word. Plus I obviously have no maternal connection to the skids so I have a really hard time with dh/others saying bs1 has 2 big sisters and a brother.
I can't say this to dh obviously and they may be sort of siblings, but yeah I am excited for bs2 to get here so bs1 has a "real" sibling.
This may make me a horrible person, but I was wondering if I was not alone in feeling like this.
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In dh's mind it would
In dh's mind it would probably make them real siblings too. He gets so mad when anyone says they are 1/2 siblings and makes sure to say they are "real siblings."
I think you misunderstood. I
I think you misunderstood. I would consider adopted children my "real" children and if I adopted 2 plus children I would consider "real" siblings. But if I adopted, just like with my own children I would never want them considered siblings of his 1st children.
I don't consider SD15 my
I don't consider SD15 my daughters sister. They are only related because I married DH. I will refer to them as step sisters if I have to say it out loud but I don't like to.
Now my exh has a daughter with his exwife. I consider her my daughters half sister because they have the same father and I like her.
Unfortunatly for our 3 yr old she is blood related to the evil beast so I guess they are half sisters but I try not to bring it up!!
I try not to think about
I try not to think about it... :sick:
I do too, but dh tells ss13
I do too, but dh tells ss13 stuff like "bs thinks you walk on water" and "loves you so much" in a n effort to boost his self-esteem *eye roll*. Dh's family is the same way, "aren't you so excited to be a big brother again" and things of that nature.
Interesting topic. My dh and
Interesting topic. My dh and I adopted a baby. He has a daughter. He considers them siblings. She likes to think she and dh have a baby together. I try not to think about it.
Honestly, I don't think of
Honestly, I don't think of SD19 as siblings to our two BDs because she has never treated them that way.
SD was 10 when oldest BD was born. SD was 50/50 custody from ages 8 to 11, then we had primary custody from ages 11 to 15. So SD was around at least 50 percent of the time up until BD was 5. All she ever did in that time was resent BD and treat her like dirt, deliberately cause her to get hurt (throw a telephone at her head when she was 1 month old, for example) or watch her being hurt and do nothing to help. She would scream at DH in front of BD, rant and rave about me in front of BD, and do everything she could to be a total prat.
SD was 13 when youngest BD was born. We had primary custody of SD until she was 15. Honestly, I think youngest BD barely remembers SD. There would be no good memories there either, as SD left youngest BD then a baby on the couch and walked away and youngest BD fell off and whacked her head hard, SD left baby gate on the stairs over our hardwood floor open and watched from the top as youngest BD nearly fell and would have been seriously injured, etc.
Dh tries to get SD19 together with our two BDs periodically, and typically one or both of them bows out and chooses not to attend. Last time it was just oldest BD, the time before that it was just youngest BD.
Funny thing, oldest BD actually refers to SD19 as her stepsister.
I consider my bios with DH
I consider my bios with DH (ages 4 and 6) to be brothers with SS19. Since we were mostly NCP, the kids have only ever lived together for a short time so they have never developed a bond that typical siblings do. But DH and I both emphasize to our bios that we love SS19 even if we don't see him often.
DH and I both grew up with 1/2 siblings but never considered them anything less than full relation. But I think that was because all the kids grew up in the same house together with the shared parent.
I hate the sissy crap. SD
I hate the sissy crap. SD always refers to herself as sissy when soeaking to BS1
i have a bs4 with fdh. i also
i have a bs4 with fdh. i also have bd17 and he has sd19. i hated that she would be a part of bs's life because i find her behavior absolutely maddening. i do consider her his sister though, because she does love him and is good to him. i try to keep my feelings out of it, because i don't want to rob him of another person who loves him. i do think she would be different if he had been a girl.
she told him "give x to sissy" at his bday party. i don't remember what it was. he took it to bd17. sd laughed it off, but i think it hurt her feelings that bs doesn't think of her as a sister like he does bd17. bd has always been around bs, sd was only around for a year, and he was much younger then. it's a confusing mix of emotions for me. i don't like her and don't want her around. but i know she loves bs and i don't want my feelings to cause any difficulties for him having a relationship with her. the fact that she's pregnant is causing conflicting feelings in me, too. i don't particularly care to have anything to do with her or her kid, but this baby will be related to bs and would be another child for him to grow up with and love.
i guess when it comes down to it, i will have to grit my teeth and do what's best for my son, which may not be what i really want to do, but i will have to because his happiness and well being come first.
Not horrible at ALL...I've
Not horrible at ALL...I've felt like that before!
My kids are to each other
My kids are to each other what they want to be.
My bio girls are "half sibs". But not to each other. They are sisters
My skids are half sibs by choice to dd12. They introduce her that way. On FB SD initially listed dd19 as sister and then deleted it and changed it to step sister. Dd19 was hurt.
However when BM was married her skids were sibs. No step sib.
That STEP thing is saved for me and my diaughter.