PeopleAreStrange,

Welcome!! and awesome name It is hard to explain to people in the real world how we feel if they have never had to deal with someone Else's children. I find it interesting that you have your biggest issues with the "middle" child. I have 3 SD's- SD25, SD23, and SD21. As of today, I am only "friends" with SD21. My biggest issues are with SD 23......and yesterday SD25 "deleted" me from her FB world (and I take it as a sign that she doesn't want anything to with me?). However, I think she is being influenced by her mother and evil SD23 who we just kicked out 3 weeks ago. EVEN SD25 gave her dad KUDOS for finally doing it....yet it has come back on me for being some evil STEP-MONSTER - and they have embarkd on a HATE BBGF campaign.

Your situation gets more complicated since you have children with your DH. I can not imagine trying to split my love and attention with HIS kids and OUR kids. I am sure that has to breed some discontent with the "older" kids. (especially since the babies always need more attention!)

I can understand your feeling about the BM- My BF's ex is also my "ex" friend. And I have been on a roller coaster ride emotionally from the beginning. Just when I think I can feel bad for her plight- I remind myself that SHE made the decision to leave her husband- and she moved out of state with some loser BF. She tried crawling back to my BF in 2009 after her loverboy up and left- she kept refusing to sign divorce papers and started to pursue my BF full-time. Since then, I stopped feeling sorry for her. She turned the kids against me for almost 6 months and I don't think things have ever been the same.

She has had her fair share of issues with her own kids- and they go back and forth in a love/hate relationship. SKids love mom when she's spending $$$$ on them!!! but then if she doesn't jump when they say jump----She GETS deleted off FB and their life. ( you can see how mature the kids are?)

There is nothing wrong with you.....Step-moms always have a hard time understanding SKIDS- and it's always awkward for them to fully accept you- at any age.

BBGF

Dear PeopleAreStrange,

I know your pain!!! I feel the same way about my bf's daughter. It has been that day since the day we met when she was 16. Now she is 21 and is still as mouthy and immature as the day I met her. He and I have parted ways due to the fact that I couldn't care less about this girl and can't imagine having to deal with her nonsense for the rest of my life. It was like a weight was lifted off of me the day I ended it. He keeps trying to get me to go back and it was been all of three weeks now and the thought of ever having to interact with her again is so depressing to me. I know I can walk away but it would be much harder for you. There were times I felt like I was "crazy" because of her and bf's attitude toward her and her ruthless behavior.

Try to hang in there. I share all your pain!! At least here we know we are not alone,

Bronxmom

Welcome, Stranger! You're not alone I love the oldest, SD21, hate two in the middle (SS19 and SD18), and tolerate the youngest, SS14. My sons are grown and on their own. No way I would want to bring children into this mess. I think if we were to have had kids of our own, the resentment (on both sides) would be 100x worse.