As part of my disengagement, there are things I no longer take responsibly for. Dh is fully aware of what is now his job to handle these things. But he's taking the lazy way out and not dealing with it. I shall vent over these things here so that I can keep my mouth shut at home without exploding.

SHOWERING: Dh somehow things that just telling ss11 and sd10 once to shower everyday is all he needs to do. As if they listen to anything they are told. I handed this off to him back at the start of the year. I had just returned from a week away to bury my grandmother to find that neither skid had showered in 10 days and SD didn't even change her underwear in the time I was gone. They showered two days in a row and then didn't shower for a week. I point it out to eh. He thanks me and has a stern talk to them. Another almost week goes by and I casually remind him that his kids haven't bathed since his last talk with them. No stern talk this time, just asks them to shower. No more reminders from me. Its now been ten days since they last bathed themselves.They stink and look gross....not saying a word. I am tired of doing all the parenting and getting shit on for it. If eh doesn't care that his kids look homeless and stink like it too..then neither do I. If they themselves don't care, then neither do I. Quite curious how long it will be before they decide to shower or dh decides to actually parent them and make them shower.

LAUNDRY- My policy for about six months now is that I will not do laundry during the work week. The skids are to bring me what they need washed on the weekend and then will have it washed, dried and folded for them before Sunday night. That's apparently too much work for them....to actually bring their baskets to the laundry room. So neither skid has had their laundry done last weekend. Ss is out of school pants....he went to school in shorts today. He has over two weeks worth of school pants, so that tells you how much dirty clothes he he has piling up in his room....all to avoid walking 50ft to the laundry room. Oh well, guess he will be cold. SD has just as much clotues piled up...I suspect she is rewearing dirty clothes.

COATS- they have been few told since October to wear a coat everyday. Do they? Of coarse not. SD went to school with no coat yesterday. Dh drove them to school and either didn't notice or didn't care. [But it is possible she had one leaving the house but lost it at school]It killed me yesterday to not say anything when I picked her up....but I held my tongue. She has half a dozen coats available to her and if she chooses not to wear one, that's on her.

ROOMS- Dh spoke down to me in front of the skids that I need to story nitpicking them about their rooms...so I haven't said a word o them about it to them since. That was the beginning of Dec. Their rooms look like a landfill. Dh flipped on them hardcore over Xmas break while I was away. And they are trashed again. I have to walk by their rooms to get to the bathroom and my blood pressure must go up ten points every time I see their rooms. But hey, if they want to live in squalor...go for it. If dh doesn't care, so be it. I thought I was teaching a valuable life lesson and adult skill...but apparently I was just nitpicking.

There's so much more...but I'll leave it at that. Hoping I can get through the week without breaking disengagement to correct one of them and without having an aneurism..