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Its no wonder that they give me no respect......

PeanutandSons's picture

Dh came to me on Saturday and had a "business" proposition. The new Nintendo gaming system was going on pre-sale on Sunday and he wanted us to buy a few to put on eBay closer to Xmas to try and make some money. He thought that at a minimum we would make atleast an extra hundred off each system. We talked over it for a while and I agreed that we could use my credit card to buy 4 systems, with the requirement that we sell all 4. He agreed, saying that be didnt want to keep one, and if he did want one eventually we would wait until after Christmas and get one for us after the price drops.

Sunday morning I get everyone up to head to the store. I say go put on your clothes and brush your teeth we are leaving in ten minutes for the store then we will go out for breakfast.. Both skids go to their rooms and I take my 2 BIOS to the room to get them and myself dressed. While we are in there I hear Dh getting into it with SD. She had openned her door back up without getting dressed and had poured herself a bowl of cereal. He told her to eat it quickly..... She took almost the whole ten minutes. When the time to leave came I called everyone to the car. No SD. I called her again. Dh answered and said that she was still doing her hair. I asked him why it was them that she was out here eating breakfast when I specifically told her to get dressed. His response "why do you ask questions that you know she doesn't have an answer to?" Well, I am hoping that it will make her start to think about the choices she makes. Dh laugh and say "and how's that working out for you".

Now, if it was my kid I would have said that since they chose to not follow instructions and had already eaten breakfast that they will not get anything at the resturaunt.... And had a talk about listening. But nothing from Dh. Listening to a stepmom is apparently optional, and its laughable that I would have anything to say about it.

We get to the store and we let the kids play the demo models in the video game section for a few minutes. Dh say its time to go, so BS grabs his hand and we turn to leave. Neither skid has moved. Ok, I give benfits of the doubt maybe they didn't hear, as Dh more said it to me, not a general announcment. I say come on, let's go guys. SS comes and starts following Dh. SD keeps playing her game. I wait a minute. Still not moving. Now I loudly and firmly always SD, we are leaving. For the third time let's go. She huffs and finally comes. Dh turned to her when she finally caught up and got on her a bit. Firmly asked why she doesn't listen when I tell her things. Her effor answer: I didn't hear her. "Im think you did hear her. You better start listening" Second time today with no consiquence.

We get to the car, and in front of all the kids Dh say this. "I think I want to keep one of the game systems for the kids, what do you think about that?" Both skids have huge smiles on their faces. So now once again I have to be the evil stepmother and say no. Dh and I go back and forth the whole way to breakfast. First off, we can't afford a 400 gaming system right now, we only bought these as an investment. Second, the kids would have to share,and the only tv that we can put it on is the livingroom tv. So that means that the skids would be on the big tv all the time, and that leaves me, Dh, and my BIOS with no tv. The skids each have a tv with cable in theory rooms. The rest of us only have the big tv. Nor do the skids deserve a gift of that size. Dh response tothat one- well, they haven't been THAT bad lately, and by that logic then they would never get anything.

Note: he couldn't even say that they've been good....just that they haven't been 'that bad". Way to set te bar high Dh.

Nevermind that he's already bought them each a tablet for Xmas. And they have a computer to share, and tvs in their bedrooms.

He ended up agreeing with me.but the damage has been done. Once again I am the evil step mother who doesn't let super daddy buy them a Nintendo Wii U. Even had I said that we need to discuss it in private, they'd still have known that daddy wanted to buy it for them, and I said no. And now no matter how nice I try to make their Xmas, there will be a chip on the skids shoulders that they should have gotten the new Wii too, if it wasn't for the evil sm who ruins their lives.

Comments

PeanutandSons's picture

He wouldnt. If I tried that he would just say that he wasn't going to take back something that we already said that they could have.

PeanutandSons's picture

My babies (3yrs and 5months) don't even HAVE a room. They both sleep in our bedroom since the skids have the other two bedrooms in the house. There's no room in our room for a tv, seeing as have our big bed, the toddlers bed and a co-sleeper for the baby and our dressers.

So the living room is literally the only place me and my kids can hang out and play. And he basically want to just give that room to the skids as well.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Are you custodial SM? Because if you aren't the skids would be sharing a room.

What is Dh plan on the two BIOS and their own bedrooms?

The Wii wouldn't even.be my concern....my sleeping arrangements

PeanutandSons's picture

Yes we are custodial.

The plan for the two little boys getting a room is to move to a bigger house. We have been working toward that goal for two years now, but with the housing market, its slow going. My SS can't be trusted alone with the little ones, so putting them in the same room is not going to happen.

I honestly don't mind our sleeping arraingments too much. The disrespect my husband shows me in front of the skids is my big problem. Even this issue wasn't so much about the video game system. It's his attitude that what we discuss and decide on means nothing where his kids are concerned.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Right, what I see is the sleeping arrangements also enforces that they are more important than the rest of the family. They have concord that aren't afforded to the rest of the family.

Which plays right along with what the dad is doing.....underminding the family as a whole for two.

Not saying what dh and I do is right but we look at the family ad a whole, and decisions are made on that. Keeping that in mind, his kids did not like that thought and currently habe little to nothing to do with our family.

PeanutandSons's picture

I do totally get what you are saying. But I am not about to put my kids in danger to say that I took a principled stand. Yes, my kids deserve to have a room, and the skids need a reality check on their place....but not at the expense of my kids.

9 out 10 unsupervised interactions with either skid ends with bs3 in tears because one of them hurt him. SD intentionally because she's nasty, or SS unintentionally because he has add and is out of control. SS also has boundary issues and has a history of pushing the boundaries of appropriate physical contact. He hasn't molested anyone or anything severe, but he does try to force younger/smaller kids to hug and kiss him. He tries to coax my 3yr old to "snuggle" with him under the covers to read books when he thinks I am not watching. I do not want him unsupervised with my boys for 10 hours every night.