The deal with me and FSS
Last night SO looks at me after I put the kids in bed and said "what's the deal with you and FSS6? he has been pissed at you lately!" I say "No shit! He has been disrespectful and belligerent all week. Yesterday he was telling me and my kids that he wished we were dead, and you heard that! I don't know what his deal is but we need to sit down and talk to him and get it resolved". His response you ask?? Here it is: " I don't have time to deal with it". REALLY SO??? YOU DON"T HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH IT??
I take it upon myself to go crawl into bed with FSS (mostly because I hate the constant tension!) and ask what has been going on and why he has been so angry with me. He says that he is just mad and that makes him really mad at me. He's 6, I get it. He is struggling with his loser BM not even calling anymore, his dad working all the time, and me and my kids moving in. I get he is angry that I am no longer letting him get away with everything because he is now expected to live under the same guidelines that I have set for my kids. I am to early into this to disengage. I feel like if I stick to it we might have a shot but SO has to be willing to work with us too.
SO has been better about backing me up with discipline (which is probably yet another reason FSS has been acting out) but SO has to be there for the good stuff too... I guess I am just frustrated. We have a date night tomorrow for my birthday/our anniversary so we will be alone, but I don't want to spend it dwelling on the negative. I just don't know....
PS: On a happy note- I told SO that BM is a fugitive and he inturn told her mother (whom she was staying with) and BM's mom kicked her out 
BM is apparently at a halfway house right now and I know where }:) so if I get a wild hair up my ass and start feeling evil I can call and turn her ass in!
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" I don't have time to deal
" I don't have time to deal with it".
If he has time to approach you and ask you about it, he's dealing with it... he's just dealing with it by beating around the bush instead of going directly to the source.
This is his child, and the parenting is his responsibility. If he has time to discuss it with you, he can use that time to deal with his child.
I know it is so stupid to
I know it is so stupid to "say" he doesn't have time to deal with it, and BELIEVE ME, tonight after my kids to their dad's house, the 3 of us ARE going to have a little chat about it. But to just say something that asinine pisses me off!
Thanks for the book tip, I really need to look into that notthemomma!
"i don't have time to deal
"i don't have time to deal with it"
Translation:
"i don't WANT to deal with it."
"Dealing with it is admitting there is a problem. If I don't have TIME, then essentially there is no problem."
"maybe if i claim no time long enough the issue will go away"
"i don't know how to deal with it. maybe you can just take over."
:sick:
YES!!!!! You are exactly
YES!!!!! You are exactly right!!! Especially with that last one, I think you totally hit it on the head right there. He has even said before that "FSS needs a mom, and you are a good mom. He needs you, I don't know how to do that stuff". I can do the "mom stuff" but I need his help, he is his father.