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BM wins again......

Onewillfullstepmom's picture

My IL's love BM, despite the fact that she was never even my husbands girlfriend! They really prefer her to me, and it's ok... sometimes, she can handle my crazy MIL better than I can. But sometimes it really chaps my ass.

I work on holidays, it's part of my job, shitty as it is. My in laws really don't have any other family out here, so since my mom loves Thanksgiving (it's her favorite holiday) and I don't always get to spend it with her, I told her after I get off of work at 12:30 we can have Thanksgiving at her house and she was going to invite my ILs. Sounds like everyone wins, SD would be with BM because we will have her xmas eve/morning. Before my mom can invite ILs, MIL calls DH, and tells him that her estranged mother, sister, and niece are going to come to Thanksgiving from California. She wants DH and I to come over and help her cook. Not thinking that I might want to spend time with my family at all. I told her we could do 2 Thanksgivings is she wants that same day and they will just be abbreviated. Then I suggested that we do Thanksgiving my rents on Thursday and his on Friday when we will be able to bring SD... Brilliant, right? Nope! They are having Thanksgiving with BM and SD on Thursday and my DH and I on Friday. Now I realize that this is the best of the available options... I guess. But I just HATE the idea of my DH's Grandmother and his aunt whom MIL tells me are unkind people, meeting BM. I just know drama is going to brew again after this. Why does BM have to be a part of the family? She never was before... All she did was pop out a kid- their "favorite grandkid" Something they openly admit... can't wait to bring future children into that... But that is a topic for another day...

Anyone else think this is inappropriate?

Comments

Anon2009's picture

I think it's inappropriate. If they want to be friendly with BM, they can and should do so on their own time.

Aeron's picture

The in-laws are hosting a holiday at their own house. While its weird and sad and pretty inappropriate, no one can "allow" or disallow others people from choosing their own guest list. OP has no control over the in-laws in their own home. They may host whomever they choose. They were invited. Their extent of control is to say No Thanks and decline their own invitation.

OP, if you see drama brewing from all this, you Can decline the invite. Let DH do whatever but you don't have to be involved. It's a pretty crappy thing of MIL to do, but its apparently the norm for her. I don't know how your DH feels about all of this, but you don't have to deal with toxic family drama queens if you don't want to.