councelling next step- how to find a good one?
SO wants us to do some councelling- for his anger issues (screaming) and also for us because we have issues with the kids.I think this is a great idea and gives me some home.However I am concerned that it can make things worse! i remember there was a lady with a horrible horrible teenage SD who wanted nothing else than to destroy her SM and Dads rs- that stupid idiot councellor they saw encouraged them to allow her to sleep in between them in their bed!!!!Such stories make me scared!! I am also worried that I am told I am "the adult and need to suck it up because of poooor, pooor little SD".....I mean those opinions are quite common.I know I would not be able to take the councelling seriously especially when I am already having problems telling SO how I feel.What to do? How do I know if a councellor is good or bad?
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Id Highly suggesf you look
Id Highly suggesf you look for a counselor who specializes in Blended/Stepfamilies!!! I mistakenly set up Counseling for my DH & I thru a regular Couples Counselor--- big big mistake on my part!!! Our 'counselor' would kinda try to imply out family should still run like a nuclear family & ohhh boy did that bite me in the butt!! The counseling obviously did us very little in the end & I feel it was because stepfamilies are Not like nuclear families. They are more complex by nature.
So yea- I very highly recommend seeing a counselor well versed in the Stepfamily dynamics. Check online thru your Insurance Company for providers, then look them up online. See what they are soecializing in. Call & talk very briefly with them- flat out ask them if theyve counseled remarriages.
Best of luck!!!
stepmomto3 , yes, I couldn't
stepmomto3 , yes, I couldn't agree more.SO is the one who is looking now , since after the screaming I needed him to show some initiative, but I told him that we will need someone with blending family experience.I don't need an idiot telling me that things should work like in a nuclear family, it is completely different.
I have nothing to say other
I have nothing to say other than go for it and as soon you feel uncomfortable with the counselor just quit and keep looking... GOOD LUCK!