Original post here: http://www.steptalk.org/node/218935

Yesterday all three of the skids were over, so we decided after Father's Day donuts and coffee, we would go to the pool. All was well, dh had to leave the pool at to get ready for work. Ysd decided she was done swimming so she went back to the apartment. I asked osd if she could watch ss and dd, (both 9, both comfortable swimmers and osd has CPR training), for a few minutes while I ran and grabbed some bottled waters. Our apartment takes about a minute to walk to from the pool. I was gone less than five minutes and by the time I got back, all three of them were headed out of the pool area. Why? Because ss splashed dd, dd splashed him back, ss didn't like it so he pulled back to punch dd. Osd stepped in, thankfully, and marched them outta the pool. Got back to the apt, separated the ss and dd, osd went about her business.

As we are walking into the apartment, ysd informs me that Voldemort said she and ss could stay a little longer if they wanted to because she was getting her nails done then going to yoga. BITCH WHAT. I didn't say anything but went straight into the bedroom where dh was getting ready.

I told him what happened at the pool, I told him what ysd just said about staying longer. I was FUMING. FUCKING FUMING. Dh called Voldey straight away and REMINDED her that ss will only be at the apartment when dh is off, that it is not my or osd's responsibility to watch ss. Then he REMINDED her that she is not to contact me for ANYTHING; ss was her excuse to contact me and now that she doesn't have that any more, I'm interested to see what she tries next. THEN he told Voldey that changes in schedule go through him, not ysd or anyone else, he told her that she does not get to plan my day.

I took all the advice about not answering her, in any capacity, very seriously and although she hasn't contacted me recently, I have no plans to answer. I told dh that I simply can not and will not deal with her AT ALL. I was afraid that he would feel like I wasn't being supportive or not wanting to be helpful to him. I realize now that I had unrealistic expectations of myself and of Voldemort. Dh said that I help him in a myriad of other ways, that my just being here finally, (after 5 years of being long distance), is enough and that he appreciates everything I do, including being honest about being at my limit with ss and Voldemort. He assured me that he will handle Voldey and ss and the only things he expects from me are honesty about how I'm feeling and not to answer any of Voldey's calls/texts. He also reminded me that he's been dealing with her for 20 years and will continue to do so on his own. He also said he appreciated that I wanted to help and completely understands why I won't/can't. "That vapid cunt is beyond unreasonable" - DH
I feel so much better!!!!!!!!

And yes, I know some of the stuff he said to me might sound exceedingly corny, we are just that retarded for each other, can't help it!