Where does CS really go...
Ladies and gents, I ask you...where does all YOUR hard-earned money go that you are forced to pay BM? I'd like to hear some of the responses...BM asked BF if she could borrow some money since his payment hasn't cleared into her account yet. She's on her way to spend the weekend in another city and go to concerts while she's there. BF asked her where all his money is going that she's paying her in CS. He said it's funny that since she's been unemployed this is the second concert she's gone to and she's planning a cruise for this fall. Is SS getting any of this money or is it all going to pay for her leisure trips, concerts and cruises? He said the only reason she's asking for a raise in CS is because she needs extra money to spend buying shirts and souvenirs.
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wait a second
b4 we go any further here, PLEASE tell me DH told her to go screw herself on the borrowing money???
Yes.. I hope that he told
Yes.. I hope that he told her NO WAY, get a job for your extracirculuar activities
My skids bm spends my dh's hard earned money on her entire family.. she shops for their clothes at the salvation army (cant tell you how many times the skids are so proud of their finds at the SA), and then for food. She is for the most part unemployed. OH.. she also buys material for her sewing projects.. and ummm.. IKEA is her favorite stomping ground.
Skids are never signed up for sports or clubs.. and she doesnt take them ANYWHERE.. no camp, no vacations, no beach in the summer when its warm (she takes them in the spring when its free and 60 degrees out, 40 in the water), no park, no movies.. should I keep going???
She is supporting a fam. of 5 on the CS. I think her dh's paycheck goes to pay for all his student loans (which are probably close to $100k)
My DH's CS goes to...
...paying her rent. Both his kids work (one dropped out of HS and is emancipated, the other has an after-school job). I just wonder what she's going to do when the CS stops next year...she does not work and is trying to get on disability but has already been denied once. I told my DH that things are liable to get interesting this time next year.
the thing that gets me
is not that the NCPs have to pay cs, but how much they have to pay. in MO, for combined income of $70k the support obligation is like $800 for one kid!!!! not including daycare! thats what gets me...that is so high...of course all that money isnt going to care for a 3 yr old...UGH...GRRRRRR
I understand completely
My BF owns a company which is a corporation so his income is completely seperate from the company's money. He pays himself a set wage every month. His CS payment to BM is one third of that amount now, and they just approved a raise in the payment because BM is unemployed. She doesn't understand that just because his company makes money doesn't mean he gets to spend it on himself. She wants more money because his company is successful...but it's a corporation and it doesn't work that way. She just doesn't see it like that. She thinks that because the company makes more money, then she should get more money. Soon she will be auditing his company to prove that he makes more than he "claims" but what she doesn't understand is that the money in the company is not his and therefore not hers to lay claim to...
She says that what he pays is not enough to raise a child on, as if he's supposed to pay her all the money she needs. But at the same time, the kid has no medical expenses and participates in no extracurricular activities. He rides the bus to school. What does she need all this money for? It's not for SS...
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
HUMPPHH!
Another fine example of the non-custodial father getting reamed because mommy dearest doesn't have a job. That's not his problem. She's an adult and is responsible, at the very least, for supporting herself.
I think they should have to
I think they should have to provide reciepts. I do.. I really do. I think they should provide reciepts showing how they spent the money.. and whatever wasnt spent ON THEM should be put into an account for their college savings down the road.
Its absolutely RIDICULOUS how they spend and spend and you KNOW its not going solely toward them.. because I too wouldnt have a problem w/it if I knew it was for the benefit of the child and not really the benefit of the bm.
I don't care.
On this DH and I have always agreed. As long as the kids are being taken care of, we don't really care how she spends it. The state guidelines calculated how much DH and BM each have to pay. It was calculated fairly and we have to pay it, regardless, so we don't waste brain power on it. In our case, BM has sole legal and physical custody, so it's her call how she uses that money. She's the sole decision-maker. As long as the kids are well taken care of, and my skids really are, we don't quibble. I have never had any doubt that our BM uses that money on the kids. I've seen the lables in their clothes.
♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
agreed
ESPECIALLY when the NCPs new kids have to suffer or have less bc of astronomical CS payments...ESPECIALLY when the CPs are deadbeats who just dont get good jobs to collect bigger paychecks...ESPECIALLY when NCPs were tricked or misled into having the kid...UGH...dont get me started!!!!!!!! sorry!
I think for those of us that
I think for those of us that see the skids go without.. and have lazy, mean bm's its a sore subject.
I WISH the bm took better care of my skids... I wish she would take them to the park, or swimming in the summer, or shopping for clothes that a complete stranger didnt own prior once in a while.. The fact is.. my skids bm uses the money as if it was for her and her alone. That the skids are lucky to get any benefit from that.
She has even taken $$ from the skids. they got bday and xmas money $90 ea. from their family members on the bm's and her dh's side.. BM deposited the money into the "family" checking account for household purposes.. they didnt get to buy squat w/that $$ nor did she open a bank account for them in their names. She told them they needed to participate in the family finances.. I almost called and told her they DO participate in the family finances.. to the tune of $850/mth.. that SHE doesnt participate in the families finances
how true
when i see FSD running around in ugly old clothes w stains on them that are too small but BM runs around wearing $70 vickis sweatpants that even i cant afford and sucking her cancer sticks AND THEN she calls to ask for CS early so she can buy groceries...the teeth come out
Oh.. and it was RIGHT after
Oh.. and it was RIGHT after their personal money disappeared that we opened up savings accounts for them up here and had them deposit all the money in their piggy banks as we were afraid they would bring it home to "help out"..
They had 100 each from those piggy banks.. and the most they can keep in the house is $10.. the rest gets deposited right away.. and we show them their bank books as proof.
My SS's BM does the same thing
Every birthday or Christmas, SS gets about $100 total from family members. BM takes it from him every single time. SS also had $1500 in a savings account that was set up for him in the divorce, which is also gone. Every time we get him after Christmas or a birthday party he tells us that his money is gone because BM took it and it just breaks our hearts. I wish we could ask people to give him gifts instead of money so that she couldn't take it.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
u could always
open up a custodial account for the kids and have yr side of the family make donations there, or stock gifts are great...oneshare.com is a cool site to gift a share of disney, pixar, etc and registered in kids name w someone (whomever) as custodian...
I can't believe she actually
I can't believe she actually asked him to borrow money.
Can't imagine asking my ex for money outside of the CS-
that's just weird.
im not
im not shocked these BBs do anything. theyre entitled to the world, u know
It's all the extras
on top of the CS that kill me.She does not spend 750.00 per month on the kids... maybe on gas to go visit her BF. These fays we feed them & run them around more than she does.
I am supposed to recieve
I am supposed to recieve child support in the amount of 499.00 per month for my son. My ex doesn't pay... at all. We have court again in two weeks.
This is what I spend my money on (can't spend his b/c he doesn't pay)
150.00 Groceries Just a guesstimate per month... just for son
157.00 Insurance
123.00 Dental/Orthodontics
45.00 School lunch
25.00 Guitar lessons (only paid activity)
60.00 School expenses (this month... field trip)
240.00 Housing (this is "his" portion of the mortgage)
75.00 Vehicle & insurance (son's portion)
35.00 Fuel only to & froms school/church/guitar
20.00 lights
That leaves approximately 60.00 a month for misc. items that come up, clothing, medical co pays, shoes, equipment, furniture, repairs, etc etc etc...
Some of these amounts will vary month to month. Granted 240.00 looks like alot for housing per month... I came upon this amount by dividing the mortgage by the number of people living there... not by bedrooms of which he has his own.
I did not factor: home owner's insurance, "services" like laundry, food preperation, Cleaning, cleaning products, personal hygene products, Direct TV (of which son has in his room), internet, church supplies and activities, driving, time or all the other things that a momma does. Granted not all CPs spend Child support wisely or budget their money well. It is a shame they give all of us a bad rap. Please remember, my ex is 9900+ in arears... I do not interfere with my son's relationship with his father.
From the outside looking it, it may look like we are splurging on ourselves (DH & I) and we do... we include all the kids... We're going to a 70.00 a ticket sporting event in July and the family vaction in August... but we both work... hard and with more than one job apeice, we budget what we make and save where we can. We do without things like new cars and fancy clothes.... lol I went three years w/o new tennis shoes.... I wear tennis shoes everyday to work. I would gladly show ex reciepts, he just doesn't pay.... I never ask him for an advance, I never count on any money from him.
I tried to detail this out myself
BM does not pay any CS and hasn't for the four years we have had SD, now 15. But with the prospect of SD coming to live with her, she immediately filed for CS (and SD still lives with us). I have a hard time paying her when she didn't pay us, and it's not likely we will be able to get back CS for those four years, according to our attorney. Plus BM doesn't work (her choice) and doesn't help pay for SD's expenses. We pay for all school lunches, activities, etc.
Here's my list:
100 groceries
40 insurance
40 medical care (physical therapy, dentist, glasses)
45 school lunch
25 volleyball
250 mortgage
150 utilities (electricity, gas, Internet access, water)
60 gas for transportation (to exchange w/BM)
25 toiletries
35 clothes
So 770, divided by two means BM should be paying 385 per month. For the past four years, that means she owes us 18,500. So who can explain why we can't get back CS, especially since we will be expected to pay CS from this point forward?
Here is my problem with your
Here is my problem with your calculations:
You are responsible to feed and house yourself. Therefore, anything you will still need to pay for if the child moved out is an expense that is not a direct result of caring for the child.
The mortgage portion should only be the difference between the rent of a home with the extra bedroom you need. So if a one bedroom home is $750 a month and a two bedroom home is $850 a month the rent portion for the child would be $100...
So your list should look more like this:
150.00 Groceries Just a guesstimate per month... just for son
157.00 Insurance (not sure about this, what kind of insurance, and is this the premium for your child only)?
123.00 Dental/Orthodontics
45.00 School lunch
25.00 Guitar lessons (only paid activity)
60.00 School expenses (this month... field trip)
100.00 Housing (this is "his" portion of the mortgage)
0.00 Vehicle & insurance (son's portion)
35.00 Fuel only to & froms school/church/guitar
20.00 lights
=$562/2= $281
Subtract any monies you get from the goverment for the child and what you get from your tax return by using your child as a dependant and you are looking at probably more like $250...
I agree with you in theory
In our case, BM left SD with us and moved out of town. We had a small house with three small bedrooms, and we had a fourth child on the way. So, we had to move to a bigger house to accommodate all of us, which we would not have had to do if SD had not been there. So how much of the increase mortgage payment, utilities, etc. fall to supporting her? We doubled our mortgage payment with the move, but I only attributed to her 1/5 of the total cost. In actuality, she cost us much more.
How is it that a four
How is it that a four bedroom house costs DOUBLE the amount of a three bedroom house? Is it the same caliber of house?
The poster said that the
The poster said that the mortgage doubled, not the price of the home. Four bedrooms are hard to find. I take that back.... you can find them in the high end developments. I know this because DH and I did alot of research looking at houses and examining our options. DH's mortgage on the home he had previously (3 bedroom) in a different city (more populous and higher demand for housing but easier to sell) and about 400sq feet smaller... his mortgage was right at 900.00.... our mortgage is right around 1300.00. So technically the "extra" bedroom cost usw 500.00 a month. I do not begrudge a dime I spend on any one of the kids.... I do, however, feel the children are enititled to every dime they are (supposed) to get from their other parent.
Yes, but your ex should only
Yes, but your ex should only be responsible to pay the difference between a one bedroom and a two bedroom home. Why? It is not his fault you married a guy with two kids. If they weren't in the picture then you would only need a two bedroom home.
I understand where you're
I understand where you're coming from as far as housing goes. DH & I recently built a house, on land I owned. We looked at all kinds of homes... Since we are the primary residence for his two and myself, we needed a four bedroom home. We looked at buying a previously built house, but our main concern was that we wanted to stay in our school district. The kids were established and the schools from elementry through high school are execllent. We went with a modular home to save money. There aren't that many modulars that accomidate four bedrooms unless there are three normal sizedbedrooms and one tiny bedroom. we worked hard to give each child the same... the boys' rooms are exactly the same and little girl's is 2 inches smaller but with a bigger closet. If there were any less children we would have had many more options that were more economical. As it stands, this is the only way we could accomplish our goals. I just did a search (apartments.com) and in our area there are no four bedroom apartments avialable... so I compared one and two bedrooms... the difference in price was 214.00 - 231.00. One bed room = $659 - $750 / two bedroom $890 - $965 If you'd rather use that number, fine... but you must also factor in that that is for an apartment... this is for a home, two acres. A home place that will be divided among the kids if/when DH and I pass.
The insurance is health insurance and is Son's only. BCBC of NC. I get mine free from my employer. I could add son to that policy, but it would be more than if he has his own ploicy.
I notice the amount for vehicle/insurance was removed also... This vehicle is earmarked for son in a little over a year. Son's father totaled Son's the car we has aquired duing the marriage for son. Leave that amount out.... it still is a documented 422.00 we each are putting forth. (using the 215.00 differences b/w one and two bedrooms) since I have sole (legal and physical) custody, I cover many things that are not monthly.... for example last night there was a town celbration.... bands, arts & crafts, food, music and fun. While this event is free, there are vendors there. Son just got food last night... I do not have a reciept for that, I am just using it as an example of the type of things that just come up along with some I posted on the origional comment.
Since I am to use the tax credit I recieve for son toward the child support factor, should I also post the summer vacation & camp that our tax returns are funding? Just to show that these are actually vacations for the children... we are staying at the Great Wolf Lodge... it is an indoor/outdoor water park geared toward kids.... Son's portion about 150.00 before food. DH and I will be going to Myrtle Beach by ourselves... that is an adult vacation. And camp is 240.00 for each child.
Please note that my ex does not pay the support ordered for son. I work two jobs, DH works two jobs... we make ends meet without support. I do not think that should negate ex's responsibility to his son.
I do believe that support should reflect shared custody if that is the case.
Your ex is not responsible
Your ex is not responsible to house anyone but his own son. It is not his problem that you married a man with two kids. I still maintain that his responsiblity should be only for half the increase in price for the one extra bedroom. If it was just you and your son you could live in a two bedroom home. You cannot expect him to pay more because of the situation you got into with your husband's kids.
As far as the car? He is not responsible to pay for your car. You need a car, regardless. If your son were to move in with his father would you sell it? I doubt it.
As far as entertainment $ (such as vendor food)? This should not be a "requirement". If you want to buy stuff like that for your son, great. But your ex should not be "expected" to contribute to things like that. Luxury items are not mandatory. Same thing goes for summer camp.
The thing that I don't
The thing that I don't understand is that our household has all of these expenses also and then some.
SS has no extracurricular activities and rides the bus to school. So she has no gasoline expense except to and from medical appointments for him, of which he goes to about once every month, which would make it about $30, and that's being very generous.
He has state funded insurance, so there's no premiums there to pay.
She owns her own home, so there's no mortgage payment. I could imagine her gas and utilities are probably the same as ours which would make it around $200.
She has a vehicle with insurance, but I don't understand why we should have to pay for that. She would still have a vehicle if she didn't have SS, and we have two vehicles with insurance.
So according to this calculation...
BM's expenses for SS:
150.00 Groceries
0 Insurance
0 Dental/Orthodontics
8.00 School lunch
0 Extracurricular activities
20 School expenses
0 Housing (this is "his" portion of the mortgage)
150 Vehicle & insurance (son's portion)
30 gas to/from doctor's appointments
100 utilities
Total: 458
Our expenses:
75 Groceries
160 Housing (this is "his" portion of the mortgage)
90 Vehicles & insurance (son's portion)
60 Fuel only to pick up and drop off SS
100 Utilities
Total: 485
So why is it that we have to pay her half of her expenses for raising a child when we pay just as much or more for the same kid on our own? Even on unemployment BM still makes more than BF a month. Basically we're end up paying 1.5x what it costs to raise SS so that she only has to pay half. How is that fair? And we have a two bedroom home, of which SS has his own room...but what happens when we have children - the first of which is due in October? Eventually we'll have to upgrade our home which means our expenses will go up even more.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
My dh's ex once detailed out
My dh's ex once detailed out 1 month to my dh.. he questioned this a year before I came on the scene (and partly bc she was complaining about CS not being enough) one of the items was a Mack the Knife cd for a 4 yr old... YEP!! because he liked 1 song.
As for the mortgage/rent, she tried to claim 1/2 the mortgage was the skids. I think she would have needed a place had they not existed, so what was the difference btw a 1 bedroom and a 2 bedroom (as it was a 2 bedroom at the time) and that is what she should have been claiming in rent.
I do get the other services provided that you listed above.. unfortunately, my skids bm BARELY does any of those things. She truly is a lazy person, and extremely self centered. She gets haircuts, but doesnt get cuts for the skids.. or she does it herself occassionally and royally screws up their hair.. she washes clothes, but doesnt take the time to make sure she is treating stains, since she could careless.
I could go on.
Bm's like her DO give bm's a bad name. If it werent for the CS that my dh pays religously, that family would NOT have enough to survive, and I mean the WHOLE family.
even if u leave in the calcs for housing and car
none of these amounts even come close to what most NCPs actually have to pay according to state law...
BM finally started
having to pay a small amount of CS. $289.00/month to be exact, for 2 kids. What?????? Anyway, we have been surviving before her measily amount started coming in. BM asked kids one time if we spent CS on them or what. I called her and told her NO, but thanks for the beer money!!! HA!! HA!! HA!!
My kids biggest cheerleader
Wait
Here's the issue I have, whoever has custody of the children should be held accountable for CS, as in they should have to show proof where the monies are going. We have full custody of my SS's, (just got the papers in yesterday), plus my niece lives with me, plus DH and I have a son together, that makes four kids. Now, yesterday we had a carnival in town and of course I took the kids. That's four kids. Arm bracelets were 20.00 a piece. Food and games were extra. Should I be upset that BM doesn't pay child support so I couldn't afford to spend more than the 100.00 on the kids for the carnival? This includes food and games?
I think I should have the right to be upset. Sure, it was my choice to take them to have a great time, but isn't that the case when they participate in sports or an activity they enjoy that the NCP usually has to pay half of?
I speak from experience when I say that raising 4 kids in today's world, with the price of everything going up and having to pay more and more money for school sponsored activities is just astronomical. I feel for those parents that don't get enough CS to make ends meet, but I also think that those that do should be held responsible for proving where the money goes and new clothes for mommy so she doesn't embarrass the kids doesn't cut it!
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
Now hang on a second, Cru
I must have said it wrong, let me rephrase. Getting your nails done is NONE of the NCP's business, nor is any money of YOURS or DH's her businesss, also, they would have to be current and paying more than what it would cost to raise a child. In your case, the BM is worthless and doesn't deserve to know where the piddly amount of money she sends goes. It's not enough for even one child, much less two. My whole reason for thinking that an itemized statement saying where the money goes is for hoping that if a judge seen how much it really takes to raise a child, maybe the child support would fit the bill, as long as EVERYTHING was going to toward the child OR reimbursing the CP for the monies spent on the child. Does that make better sense?
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
Sadly, you're right
When we were paying CS, the BM bought a brand new bed for herself, new living furniture, clothes, ect.. In that instance, I would have loved to make her prove where the CS was going. However, if it was obvious she spent the money on the kids, I wouldn't have cared. Or even if she spent her own money on the kids and used the CS as reimbursement. It's okay now, though, we have custody! And she doesn't pay a dime in CS.
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
Oh, she doesn't because she has
No visitation and we I will be adopting the boys in a matter of months. We've been after CS for 3 years now and finally she just refused visitation, although she hasn't seen the boys in 2 years, so we were going for abandonment as well, instead she just consented to adoption and washed her hands of it. This is same woman that told her kids she wished they were dead!
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
This is exactly my point
BM asked BF for money to borrow to pay for gas and food for her trip to **** to see a concert and spend the night. Since October she's been making half as much per month as she used to and she's gone to two concerts in the past three months and is planning another one for later on this year. So...if she can't afford to get there and can't afford her room or food while she's there, where did the money come from that paid her tickets and backstage passes? Could it have been that few hundred dollars that BF gave her this month for CS? I personally think so.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
If it would make my ex feel
If it would make my ex feel better about it, I would give him a spreadsheet... monthly,,, weekly,,, even daily. In my case he doesn't dispute the amount... he just flat out refuses to pay. He has quit working at a regular job. He has a full mechanic's shop at his home that I know for a fact he works out of. He doesn't file taxes or show any income. Funny.... he lives alone in his own home, has lights, phone, cell phone, cable, internet, two dogs, a boat, motorcycle, two working cars and one that works sporatically.... I wonder how he has supported himself over the last four or five years. Hell, I wish hed get a girlfriend or something just b/c I don't know any woman who would stand for him being as irresponsible as he is and she may give him a reality check about his priorities. Then again, given ex's history he may even be making his living by selling illegal substances (this is pure speculation on my part... I have no proof b/c if i did I would jump in and pull ALL visitation). I do not believe that the only way to "make" my son love me is to destroy his relationship with his father. I believe every child should know both their parents and should have a positive relationship without the interfearance from one side against the other. But being a parent comes with a price. Be it a bio/step/adopted/whatever kind of parent.
If you have been supporting
If you have been supporting the kids all these years without much help from BM then you should be able to spend that money on whatever you like. I would hope that some of it goes to the kids, though. It sounds like they have had to suffer due to lack of funds so a good portion of the child support should go to them.
No, you should not, Cruella.
No, you should not spend every dime on the children, because the children are not the ones who had to work harder, work more or go without when the CS money wasn't there. Put some for each of them in a high yield savings account so that they will have some starting out money when they become adults. Put some in your own savings account to cover those "what-ifs" that always seem to creep up. Pay off some the debt you racked up taking care of THESE OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN, debt you incurred because you had to divert YOUR money to fill THEIR bellies. Whatever. Use it however you and DH see fit. It's YOUR money. The skids already got theirs, for the most part, by you and DH covering this slack-ass BM's portion.
I guess I'm lucky that I have a BM who really does use the CS for the skids. I have never doubted that. I know that we pay her more for her two kids than we ever spend on our two kids, so no, she doesn't really "need" every dime. But the amount was determined by the state guidelines, I believe it was calculated fairly, I know that each parent pays his/her fair share and as long as the children are being taken care of, neither one of us cares what she spends it on. We don't want or need an itemized statement every month. That's just too complicated. Are we going to expect people who receive CS to write down who eats each slice of cheese in a 24-slice container? Are we going to measure, ounce for ounce, how much of that gallon of milk the skids drinks versus how much BM puts on her cereal or in her coffee? It just doesn't matter to me. It is what it is. We accept it and plan around it.
It would be great if there were FEDERAL guidelines for determining CS so that it doesn't vary from state to state and it would be even better if those guidelines were fair, but that's not the way it is. In this country, the CS calcuation differs by state and we're stuck with whatever amount the state deems fair. If you don't like how that's calculated, then take it up with your legislators and campaign for reform. If you think the CS is being used for things other than supporting the skids, then you can try to fight it in court, but I doubt you'd be that successful, unless we're talking about an extreme situation. And if it's that extreme - kids are not fed, kids have no clothes, kids are living in bad conditions, etc. - then you should take it up with DHS or CPS, not a family court judge. It's the court's job to determine how much is fair and then enter an order. If the CP isn't using the money to properly care for the children, then I think that becomes a neglect issue for DHS/CPS to sort out. As long as the amount was determined using a fair calculation per state law, and as long as the children are being adequately cared for, it's just not something worth fighting about. It might seem unfair, but it's what we have unless or until a better system is implemented.
♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
I am in the same boat as
I am in the same boat as Cruella. Only my ex lives 30 or so miles away. He refuses to work a job that will garnish wages. I do not feel bad about enforcing child support, or even the amount. I go to court every time it comes up. I averaged the payments I have recieved from ex... it averaged 87.00 per month... for the last five years... and that was before the last month or two of missed payments. So off to court we go again. If I were to get the arears in one lump sum... wow... I don't even know what we'd do. I would definately pay off the credit card... I HATE being in debt. I do not believe that child support and visitation should be intermingled, but I do believe that excessive arears... say a year's worth... should result in diminished rights to visitation. Maybe then the obligated parent would step up and make an effort to pay child support. Granted exceptions should be made for those who the arears are in dispute or are assigned recently (for example... a father not knowing he was a father, thus having arears assigned because he didn't know of his obligation). As it stands... for me I bite my tounge when Son talks about how great his dad is... that dad bought him this or that.. that his dad hung the moon... Yeah.... biomommas have to bite their tounges too.