My Christmas Wish
What I want for Christmas is for us all to have as stress-free and healthy a holiday as possible. Our fist overnight visitation is supposed to be coming up next week. We're supposed to have SS for three days and two nights. BM has already talked of plans to not let SS come or things that she can do to try to prove that BF isn't fit to have him for overnight visits. I really just wish that she will leave things alone for once and let things happen the way that they're supposed to. No one needs the additional stress around the holidays that she could potentially cause, especially SS. My biggest wish is for SS to have a good time and know that he is loved and cared for regardless of what happens.
While I am really looking forward to the overnight, it won't be the end of the world if it doesn't happen. Not to mention, we'll finally be bringing her to court for contempt if she does that. I've decided that no matter what happens we're going to make the best of the situation and be sure that SS knows we love him and care about him. I think it would be a shame to let her jealousy and hate ruin our holiday...so even if she does try it we're not going to give in and become company to her misery.
Though it is court-ordered that he stay with us for those two nights, I am going into this fully expecting her to deny the visit. Hopefully I'll be pleasantly suprised and have an extra Christmas present.
It's sad that the holidays are supposed to be a loving and happy time, but more often than not they're turned into horrible nightmares from ex's deuling it out with each other and using their children as weapons against the other. I just wish that things could go smoothly and like they're supposed to so that we won't have to deal with the additional negativity or the court battle that will ensue afterward.
I wish everyone else a Merry Christmas, and hope your lives are simple and stress-free for the holiday!
- Nymh's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Well I wish you peace back..
My holidays will be peaceful this year and for many years to come. But for all of you ladies on here who have spiteful/mean immature and very insecure BM I wish you the strength to continue your battle.
I wish that I could flip a switch on all your BM and things would be nice and pleasant for you all. Easier said then done. Truly to all of you in situations were the BM thinks the kids are her pawn or there puppets, I am sorry and wish you some peace for the holidays.. And be safe.. and Merry..
****Happy****
Nymh, you have the right attitude
It used to be that when BM denied visitation, it would feel like our lives were over, it was so upsetting and we just felt hopeless and helpless to her power. I will never forget Christmas of '04 when she kidnapped her kid and turned off all her phones for 28 hours. We had no idea where they were, she just disappeared with her so we couldn't have her for Christmas. We didn't know if they were alive or dead. We were distraught and Christmas was ruined.
I learned something from that experience. She only has as much power as we give her. Yes, BM could keep your SS away for that first overnight visitation, just as BM in our case will probably take back her promise to "let" us have SD at 8pm on the 25th to punish us for coming to SD's concert on Wednesday. But instead of despairing, we'll just take action. We will enjoy our holiday and not give her the power to ruin it again. I'm glad to hear that you will do the same.
We can't affect their behavior, but we can control our reaction to it. And hopefully we can hold them accountable for their behavior in court. If not, we will still not give in and let it bring us down. We will just soldier on.
Here's to a happy stress-free holiday!
Just know..
that she can NOT make up her own rules to the court ordered visitations. If she does deny visitations, like you said you will, hold her in contempt. Our bm did that for a weekend visit, and the judge hammered her, and she even had to pay our attorney's fees for having to hold her in contempt!
So, keep your chin up, hope for the best, and know that if she does pull her bullshit, you have to be the one to hold her accountable, and when you do, it won't be taken lightly. Judge's really don't like it when non-custodial parents are denied their time with their kids (it does have to be court ordered...unforutnately for those who are recently separated). Also, not sure what the rules are in your state, but in ours, if custodial parents are found in contempt 3 times for denying visitations, that is grounds for taking the children away and sending them to live with the non-custodial parents.
I hope Santa brings your special delivery! Bests to you Nymph,
Candice
Hmm...
If that's the case, we should have brought her to court over Thanksgiving, because we didn't have him then either but we were supposed to. Do you think it's still possible to take her to court over Thanksgiving? Or maybe roll them both into the same hearing?
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
I say bring an excel spreadsheet of ALL
I say bring an excel spreadsheet of ALL the times she denied visitation. Prove that she does this as a HABIT, not a one-time deal.
Why not?
The worst they are going to say about Thanksgiving is no..we aren't going to include that one.
It must be a court ordered visitation and that means a judge's signature has to be on it in order to be enforced. But, it is my understanding that you finally have it, so yes, include Thanksgiving, and what ever other day/holiday she has done since you got your parenting plan.
Our bm did it only once after the parenting plan was signed, and when we took her to court, the judge was so made at her (partially for disrespecting the courts by not showing up to the hearing on her being in contempt) that my dh thought she was going to have a warrant out for her arrest.
And the judge really gave my dh a lot more than we asked for...we were knocking two birds out with one stone, we were fighting over summer visitation and holding her in contempt. The judge found out what she did, then when we asked for summer visits, he gave way more than what we asked for, and we were extremely happy. Then when bm found out what we got for summer visitation, her repsonse was..."oh well have to go back to cout to change that!.." as if you get a "do over" for not showing up in the first place.
A lot of these psycho bm's really think the world revolves around them and they call all the shots. Even after the paperwork is signed by a judge. So until you hold her contempt, she will continue to deny, but once you do...a judge is going to ream her ass in front of your bf! And wouldn't it be worth it??LOL!!
Inform judge of every date visitation was denied
That way, you can prove she has a history of denying visitation, which will have more of an impact with the judge.
~ Anne ~
I came into this late....
but I hope things went well... do give us an update. Curious to know what happens.
I totally and firmly believe that anyone and everyone who has been denied their court order time, should with all effort possible, make the other parent accountable in court for their actions. I think that this is a problem among father's when it comes to their visitations. I have found that often so many men are just too scarred to deal with the hassle of court, but truthfully, if they don't go, they only in turn hurt their children more, because the BM's just keep manipulating the situation. The kids never get the time they so desperately need with the other parent. Sad.
I support you fully! If I were there, I'd be making a drum roll for a hanging too! lol I'd mention every and any time she denied you time... that's for sure.
RE:
I can't really give an update yet because visitation isn't supposed to start for another little bit. However I've already received several emails from BM trying to weasel herself out of letting SS come. I sincerely hope that she just lets things happen like they're supposed to because I really don't think she understands how serious a court battle will be coming if she doesn't.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
When are the visitations suppose to begin?
If there is a future date in the parenting plan of when it is suppose to begin then your two holidays that you just missed won't be counted. Like if it is suppose to commence 01/01/07, then this last holiday won't count for contempt of court. Please double check with your attorney, I just don't want to set you up for disapointment.
Candice
RE:
They began immediately.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*