I think SS doesn't like his Mom
I can't say as I blame him. I just feel sorry for her. We all know she's doing it to herself and we can't change that...I just hate it that their relationship is suffering. Case in point - this evening we took SS trick-or-treating (YAY we had so much fun!!). Well, there was this booth that was taking pictures of kids in their costumes and printing them for free. I asked SS if he wanted to go get his picture taken and take it home for his Mom. He said, "Noooo!" I asked him why not, and said that I thought his Mom would like to see him having fun in his costume. He said that he doesn't want to give anything to his Mom or tell him how much fun he had with us because she always makes everything that happens here into something bad and he's sick of sharing his fun times with her because all she wants to hear is bad stuff. Poor little guy!
I hope everyone's having a happy Halloween!!
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He's even got her figured out...
Hell, I don't even know her and I don't think I like her.
Poor buddy. SD11 doesn't really care for her mother either. It just sucks because I don't want her to not like her mother, I just want her mother to act like a mother. Stop all the arguing and bickering and competition and get back to the basics of being a good parent.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Here, here.
I worry all the time about what SD is learning from the example BM sets as a parent. She is only 3 and as she plays with her baby dolls she constantly brings them to me insisting that I care for them as she has other things to do.
I was fortunate to be raised by a very devoted mom, who was a mother, not a friend. She was living her own life within our home, but also was always there for me, constantly setting an example of the person she wanted me to be.
That is what I have so desperately wanted to give SD since she was born. I wish for her sake it could have been BM providing that example, but it didn't take long to figure out that is not likely to ever happen. I hope very much that I can be living proof to Sd that a loving parent/child relationship is possible without the games, control, secrets and manipulation. Ours is one of leadership,respect and unconditional love.
I don't know how a child raised with such different examples comes to decide who they really are and who to follow. I guess that is where faith and prayer come in.
Sorry I went on and on, your post got me thinkin. I am very sorry for your SS feeling as if he has to protect BM. That is so much weight for his little shoulders. Poor guy, I can't imagine. I was raised to believe that if you have to keep something a secret it is usually wrong. He is living the opposite as a result of BM. The good thing though is he feels comfortable enough to tell you, which means he has a lot of trust in you and it sounds like he knows he is free to be honest and happy. You are his safe place.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I---
I took the one less traveled by,
and that made all the difference. -Robert Frost-
that will go in and out through time
we have been through those periods and it was so sad but then SD did get through it and has since started to reconnect with BM yet again til the next time she shows the other face, all we can do is to tell them we love them and hope for the best.
There is no reason where logic does not exist
Oh Nymh...
What I just don't get is how she doesn't realize how much SHE is pushing him away from her. But I'm glad he had a wonderful time none the less.
My SK, had an awesome time too! I made Finger Cookies, Smashed Pumpkin Tarts, Gypsy Goulash with roasted Bat Wings, Gut's Parfait (Strawberry jello w/ whip cream) and Witch's Brew (Spiced Hot Cider). We nibbled on Bloody Fingernails (red almonds), and Fresh Scabs (raisins & dried cranberries). The kids LOVED it. I'm exhausted!
StepMom
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...