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F u and the horse your mother sent you on!!!

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 8:48pm

So, this is day 1of visitation since both BM and SD9 lied to the judge in court and insinuated that my sons were either physically, emotionally or sexually abusing their stepsister. I did everything I could to make it less volatile. I sent DS14 and DS12 to their dads and I stayed away from the house as long as I could. I invited out of town guests to stay with us this weekend to serve as a buffer for the anger I have. And still, I come to my home - and when I open the garage - who is standing there? SD9!!!! R u an F*ing idiot? I told you I don't know how I'll feel when I see her. Now I know how I feel. Our lives have been turned upside down by her psychotic mother more times than I want to talk about. But this time, this time your daughter joined the fight. Don't expect me to love her now.

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Onewillfullstepmom's picture

Submitted by Onewillfullstepmom on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 8:54pm

Wow.... Something like that.... I don't know how long it has been since you have seen her, but I would need... I don't know at least several months away from her to even be able to be in the same space. Your DH should respect that and why isn't he equally appalled by this? I'm so sorry.

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Sat, 09/28/2013 - 12:11pm

Thanks One!! DH is a "sweep the bad stuff under the rug and don't think about it" kinda guy. He thinks if we pretend it didn't happen and just go on as we always have, it will all work out. I am definitely not made that way. So it is a struggle for us. And I do understand that she is his biological child and he does have a tremendous amount of guilt for dragging this family through the psychotic world that he left. But, as I told him last night, if SD9 deserves some understanding for being coached to tell lies because her mother is psychotic and it isn't her fault, then for goodness sake, I deserve some understanding for watching my family be affected by it.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 10:14pm

I would really sue BM for defamation of character, get a restraining order, whatever to show her that I don't play. Especially when it comes to my kids. I would really make her pay dearly via every possible, legal way. She'd regret the day she was born.

As for SD, she may not grasp the severity and huge-ness of the lie she told for many years, but she will. Even if it's years down the road. She must have been put up to it, but that can't make it any easier. I think you should not be near her to protect yourself and your bios.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Sat, 09/28/2013 - 2:35am

I went and read your back story after reading this - gosh, you have all my sympathy. When I first knew my DH, NPD BM accused him of abusing their daughters and told him she had spoken to social services. When my DH rang social services, they had never heard of NPD BM.

After that little episode - I decided to protect myself. I made sure I was never alone in the house with the SDs (who were 5 and 7 at the time) not even for 10 minutes, in case NPD BM trumped up some accusation and ruined my life with it.

I imagine that your SD was thoroughly coached in what she said in court by her mother, but I can totally understand your feelings towards her as a result of what happened. TBH, if such a thing happened to me, I would refuse to have her in my home - I would insist that DH made other arrangements to see her, or I would leave, myself. Such things are totally beyond what any decent person would consider.

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Sat, 09/28/2013 - 12:16pm

Well oddly enough, DH's own mother asked him to sign over his parental rights to SD9.