I should be used to being the fall guy after 6yrs but....

SO sent me a text today saying that SD wanted a friend to come over this weekend. I responded "Ok, to spend the night?"

SO: I don't know. I told her I would talk to you first.

When I saw SO at lunch, I said "It would be really nice if SD had a friend over"

SO: Well, SD was apprehensive to ask. You know because of the way you are.

That totally pissed me off. Because of the way I am?

Neither SS9 or SD11 have had a friend. They have never asked to have a friend over. I have never said I don't want their imaginary friends at my house.

In the 6yrs that I've been with SO, SS has been invited to one B Day party that the entire class was invited to and SD have been invited to maybe 3-4. The last party, she told SO about 1 month before the party and he kept telling her to bring the invite to our house so we could get the details. She never did until the day before the party. It was 1hr away. SD wanted SO to drive her 1hr to the party drive back. Go back and get her and then drive 30 to drop her and SS off with BM and then drive 30 minutes home. So pretty much drive 5hrs that day for a kids B Day party. When SO asked me if he should do it I said "No, you asked her repeatedly to bring that invite to our house. If she had, maybe we could have planned something but she didn't. If you want to take her that's fine with me, but I'm not wasting my day off driving all over the county." So he didn't take her. Apparently, That was my fault.

When he said " You know because of the way you are", I was taken aback. You would think by now I would be used to StepHell but it still slaps me in the face sometimes.

So, I guess I'm the bad guy now. Even though I have NEVER once said she can't have a friend over.

Ninji's blog
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AMEN ^^^^^^^ My DH was

AMEN ^^^^^^^

My DH was Horrible about doing this. He would always say he had to talk to me first when the kids wanted to have a friend over or do something.
The fact was, DH didnt want to do whatever it was the kids wanted and he was too afraid to tell them so I ended up the bad guy ALL THE TIME!
It was no wonder his kids hated me from day one. I called him out on it several times and explained to him the way "SKIDS" see what he is doing...and that is making me the bad guy constantly.

I do want him to ask me before he allows SKids to have friends over, mainly because I would be the one stuck with them while he is at work and there is one skid friend in particular I cannot stand. But like your DH, mine had to learn how to phrase it so I wasn't the one making the final decision.

BOTH my ExH and DH do this. I

BOTH my ExH and DH do this. I am ALWAYS the bad guy. They even do it when they want me to give a specific answer...because we've already talked about it and they know the answer we came up with together...yet they still tell the kid they have to talk to me. Shoot me.

This is why I stopped even

This is why I stopped even giving my opinion on DSO raising his kids. If my DSO wants to spend a day off driving SD all over, he can do it. I used to offer to drive for him bc he does work hard at his job and I just sit on my ass, and I work 3 days of 12 hours, but I rarely even do that anymore.

He doesn't ask me to ride along anymore either. I will if I'm bored enough, I will. At first when he would ask me to ride with him, I would say..'do you ride with me when I'm take the grandkids places?' No, he would rather sit on his ass and enjoy his time off.