You are here

Ugh....

Ninja chick's picture

Submitted by Ninja chick on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 9:10pm

Sometimes there is so much stress it feels like the whole world is crashing down. I know that everyone here says to leave him but other then the kids and a few rude comments once in a blue moon he's amazing. Here's the thing he was with his ex for seven years. She messed him up so bad that it was normal to him to go on dates and talk dirty and say things like hey your getting fat. That's just how there relationship worked. He never cheated on her but it was a game to hit on girls and get attention. I've slowly showed him what a real relationship is but I'm scared that's all I am here for because some of the things he's said/done have scared me. He's done insanely more good then bad even lost a few friends do to how they treated me. I've even told him honestly how I feel about the kids and he says he still wants me. Knowing I can't stand SD4 right now. I'm not sure what to do anymore. All I know is that I want to be happy but I don't want to be with out him. It's just a crap situation that I didn't know I was getting my self into till too late. He didn't even know the situation so how do I blame him?

Comments

Evil Step Witch of OZ's picture

Submitted by Evil Step Witch... on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 3:33am

If you can get a few days or even a week away from him and his kids then you might be able to clear your mind (take yourself out of the situation) and see what you come up with. I have had to do it a few times in other relationships and I ended up ending the relationships because I found myself soooo unhappy. I am usualy a very happy out going person, the life of the party etc but I am feeling like the cranky old woman no one wants around since taking on SD. I feel like there is a change in the air for me, not sure what it is... I wouldn't leave hubby but I want to start living my life again and having fun. I hope you can do the same even if you stay with hubby and his kids. Best of luck sweetie xxoo

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 8:12am

Its really strange how I have felt like you. The stress the dealing with a socially inept man. for some stupid reason, I took on teaching my SO how to be in a relationship. He didn't have a good one with his ex and that one was the only one he had.

I have to tell him sometimes when something is inappropriate, how to treat his mother or me. I would be in a situation thinking to myself and him, what are you doing? Its not all the time, its just sometimes, but I do know how you feel.
I've actually had to explain to him that if you make a commitment, you have to follow through even if you don't feel like it. Last mother's day we were supposed to take our moms out. When they were on their way, he went to bed! He wouldn't get up to take them out, so I took both our mothers out that day then yelled at him when I got home. I was furious. He says he got overwhelmed with some issues with SD. I said So what! You still have to honor a commitment you made. Simple things, its so frustrating to have to explain those simple things.

Mine knows how I feel about SD15 and he is still willing to have an relationship with me. Of course, I am not disrespectful to her, I just don't really want to interact with her.

I agree with you.. it is a crap situation and we didn't know what we were getting into. I have my own issues, take on someone with issues who also has children. In hindsight, I look crazy for being here. But when it was all happening, I didn't know.

I agree with PP. Take some time and just do your own thing. Its really helping me. I just started. No more following SO and skids around for the whole entire weekend. I have been taking some time on saturdays and spending with friends. Whether the skids are here or not.