Master and Servant
I swear there are days when I would truly love to ring my husband's neck. Right now is one of those times! BM told us a couple of weeks ago that SS needed dress clothes for HER brother's wedding. When DH told me this I said, not my problem, let her brother pay for his clothes if he wants him in the wedding. After all, we certainly had no help with our wedding!
Well, I just over-heard him in the bathroom saying, ok, we'll get him some dress clothes while he's up here.
Ummm, hello, the fact that he lost the clothes I already bought him should be enough. I haven't had new clothes in FOREVER! I'm in desperate need of them and now any money I had hoped to use on clearance end of the season deals is going to go for her brother’s wedding.
I'm seriously ticked off about this. It's not that I begrudge the kid of getting clothes, I just bought him clothes last week instead of buying myself some. What I do get ticked at is my DH not being able to tell BM no. He really needs to get a back bone!
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Ummm..isn't that what CS
is for????
I'm with you. And I'm still furious at DH.
I'm still furious from BM's call earlier this evening.
We are self employed, have not paid ourselves for 2 weeks, and DH has just agreed to pay for MORE extracurricular activity fees and new shoes for the 9 year olds formal 'School Ball' at the end of the week.
Excuse me, we are living on MY credit cards and he agrees to more money for the little princesses?
I feel like a hateful, horrible person right now, and I'm ashamed at how angry I feel, but I'm in survival mode. My bio daughter is doing without, DH and I are doing without, but the CS is still being paid!
If everyone is having to tighten their belts at the moment, isn't it fair that the three little princesses might have to miss out on a few things too?
How about going to the library instead of expensive book club orders? Why do they have to play Netball and Hockey AND do Marching as well when they will miss 50% of all these anyway because they are AT OUR PLACE EOW?!?!?! So now its Brownies and Pippins (like Girl Scouts) too. Can't these kids amuse themselves for a change?
How do I answer my DH when he says "But BM says the girls will be so upset to be the only ones who miss out on X".
I'm sorry. I feel mean spirited and hateful. At the same time I am thinking about the fact that I am taking a second job while BM sits on her fat @ss complaining.
And DH doesn't have the backbone to say NO. He caves in to the guilt trip EVERYTIME.
I have to protect myself (financially) from BM AND DH and that sucks.
Do it though
Protect yourself financially I mean. I am completely maxed out on my personal credit and will be paying on it for 110 years because of things like this.
Draw the line well before you are forced to and keep some for yourself because if not you will have no safety net for a real emergency! It creeps up on you and then it is too late! Don't tell DH you have any room, keep it for what YOU see as an emergency.
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
I did have a safety net...
but it's gone now. I had to use it. So is the equity I had in my home before meeting DH. But I have done it because I believe in him. I just hate my bio kids asset is now gone. But I have set an insurance policy that will pay off the house and leave cash in a trust for them.
I start another job (on top of the admin, accounts and system's work I do for our business) next week and last night I told DH that the fact I was going to be bringing in more money does NOT mean BM is getting a single cent more.
I'm going to be paying back some of the debt I have racked up over the last 3 years while she got every spare cent DH could suck out of his business.
We had a big (for us) bust up over this last night and we are both feeling a little bit fragile today
Walking the tightrope
is some serious and scary business. I can't wait to get off! one day. Me and DH say, as long as we have each other, everything will be ok, no matter what happens.
You have to have talks like that for them to get just how serious it is. If your DH is like mine, he wants to be all fun and hunky dory all the time, that is so annoying when you need to face things!
But you are even smarter, with your insurance policy, good thinking there!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
DH and I are the same but
I am feeling backed into a corner over money at the moment.
I know he wants to do everything he can for his kids. The mother of the three youngest know how to make him feel guilty and he will give her any money he has access too. Then I have to bail out the business again.
Things have changed. HE has changed, but its too soon for me to be 100% sure he can make the right decisions about money.
I should mention, we are talking about voluntary amounts OVER AND ABOVE normal CS here.
With the house - I put the house in a trust and made my 2 bio kids 40% beneficiaries each. I made DH beneficiary of the other 20%. Then I set up an insurance policy that pays off my home if I die, and any cash remaining gets split 40/40/20 as well. Any assets we acquire as a couple from here on in will go straight to him.
Clarification
She is the custodial parent. She wants us to buy the outfit for HER brother's wedding.
She also expected me to give her the dress that my SD wore in our wedding. I absolutely refused!
Her responsibility
That is what child support is for! the nerve of even asking this-!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
I've come to the conclusion
that the vast majority of our problems would be solved if the drug companies, instead of making another erection pill, would come up with something that would make men grow backbones. LOL
I would be first in line to buy some of that for dh. LOL
LMAO
love it!