Does anyone think it's possible....
To eradicate all of the horrible traits of the BM out of skids??
I know this is a very broad reaching question. SD is 14 almost 15 now. She was a horrible mini wife in the beginning spoiled as hell but SO made some great strides and she has done pretty well. Now the older she gets I think she was just playing us this whole time. She has all the horrible traits of her mother lying, manipulating, lazy,entitled that are coming out in full force again But she hides it under this fake sweet exterior.
She started HS this year she has always skimmed by doing the bare minimum in school. She does it so she won't lose her phone. Well this year SO finally stepped up and is on her case hard keeping track of homework. He has never done that before and she doesn't like it one bit. She gets punished I.e grounded for the weekend, losing her phone, no computer access all the regular stuff. She will take it then she is sugary sweet to SO thanking him for the punishment and she is understanding his intent blah blah blah. Then SO let's his guard down and she screws off again but now she is kissing his ass so bad he doesn't want to be "mean" to her. So he buys her BS story of the teacher hasn't graded her homework yet or the teacher is mean to her. Or in the case of Spanish class the teacher doesn't like white people :jawdrop: Yes she said that and he buys it hook line and sinker. He doesn't see why she is expected to know Spanish because she isn't Hispanic. Well it's a class she chose to take so that's on her.
I swear she is the most calculating person I have ever met just like her BM. I wonder if the effort that SO is doing is all for nothing. If she is like her BM nothing we do is going to change that. I wonder are some traits just ingrained in us? She is going to have a hard life if she continues this way. I honestly see this as a breaking point for SO and I. When she is 18 the plan is she is moving out either to college or just moving out. I wonder if SO will follow through with that. I read some stories of here of adult skids ruining relationships I wonder if that's where I headed?? Can anything be done?? Just lots of thinking today for some reason.
I guess it's because I'm finally seeing thru to her real self. I have caught her in so many lies lately. Just bold face straight to my face lies. I haven't experienced anything like this before.
Today she was going to go to a haunted house with her sister. SO checked her grades this morning lots of missing homework assignments so he said she couldn't go. Now she is blaming me. Really???? Like I'm the one who didn't turn her freaking homework in. She is grounded to her room to study. Since SO got home from work she has been in and out of her room at least 15 times joking and laughing with him. To his credit he sends her right back to her room. But if she sees me I get the evil death stares. I swear if she gives me the stink eye one more time I'm going to smack her sideways. Plus she only does it if SO cant see her.
Good thing is SO and I are going to a costume party tonight. Which he gets points for. Instead of canceling our plans he arranged for SD to go to his brother's house for the night. So we still get to enjoy our plans and SD goes to her aunt and uncles house for the night.
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Oh my, your SD sounds like
Oh my, your SD sounds like Mini Swamp SD. Her BM, Swamp Hole, has groomed her daughter to behave just like her. Mini is manipulative, lies constantly and has grandiose thoughts about herself. Swamp got her hair cut and Mini got the same hair cut, or vice a versa.
Swamp has taught Mini how to help her PAS her brothers from DH, or she tries to. I'm sure Swamp also taught Mini how to put nails under our tires.
The latest thing from Mini...She's certain she will get a soccer scholarship. But her grades suck. She wants to go into pre-med and is flunking chemistry and biology.
To answer your question...No. I think when they are so intertwined with their evil BM, they take on that life and it stays. They will try to change their "colors" like a chameleon but it's still a chameleon.
I'm afraid your right!!!!
I'm afraid your right!!!! She is so much like her BM is frightening. The BM has never worked in her life she gets by always. She has been living off CS from SO since they split. She was also milking him for loads more money every month till I came along. She's a scammer and a user. SD is following in her footsteps. Latest is she wants to "earn" money to get her nails done. It's about 40 bucks last time she pulled this scam SO paid her up front then she never did a chore to earn it. She half assed cleaned the windows only from the inside and didn't even clean the sills. I stayed out of it once she had her nails done she could give a shit less about earning the money. But that was SO's fault. So she tries again the other night sweet as can be saying she wants to earn money. All the while she is watching me unload the dishwasher never offers to help but wants to earn money for doing chores yeah right.
She doesn't even do regular chores SO and I take turns with chores the week SD is here he cooks and does the dishes. The week she isn't with us I do it. But we also help each other out too. On SO's week SD might put dishes in or out of the dishwasher one time and she does her own laundry. That is the extent of her chores. She is going to,hound him for the money for her nails tomorrow I'll be curious to see if he caves or not especially since she is in trouble.
Swamp Hole does not work
Swamp Hole does not work either. She told the skids when they were 5,6 and 7, she quit because people were not nice to her
Then she married the guy she had an affair on DH with when she heard he was terminally ill from cancer. It was hush, hush until we heard she got married and stole alimony from DH and refused to give DH a pay out (court order) when she got married.
Of course DH had to go to court to get back the stolen alimony and the pay out, she cried to the court she's too poor
But DH won.
The terminally ill hubby died 9 months later and she now collects 43k a year because he was their step dad in addition to 30k she get's a year in child support. Of course she was having an affair on the sick hubby and was screwing a Dr. who told us that Swamp married the sick hubby just for the money because her alimony was ending and she needed a supplement :O
6 weeks after his death, Swamp hole shacked up with Baby Daddy #2 and had a baby with him, so she gets another 15k a year. So, the POOR Swamp Hole only gets 88k a year NOT working and still cries to the court...she's poor
Can we all gather around and sing kumbyah together for these helpless BM's }:)
Right now, at 4 years of age,
Right now, at 4 years of age, SD is a bubbly happy content wee thing.. her Mom and her Mom's Mom both have personality disorders.... SO and I worry about how SD will be as a young lady, hoping like hell she didn't get dunked in the PD gene pool too!
Make sure your SO follows
Make sure your SO follows through with her moving out. Make sure she knows what her options are going to be so she has the chance to make informed choices. You don't want her pleading with your SO when she's 18, saying she didn't know.
Time and time again, my SD22 sees that her mother's manipulation techniques don't really pan out in the end, but it doesn't stop SD from giving it a wirl. SD is a lot like my husband, but those BM traits come through enough for my husband to not trust her.
My husband and I made an agreement a long time ago that no other adult live with us and I will not let him go back on that. Not even when SD's husband left her and her 2 kids and she had no job. Nope.