So I just finished bawling my eyes out ad I need to get some stuff off my chest. To know the back story, please go to my previous blogs. In a nutshell, BM is a flake and couldn't handle SS anymore so she sent him to live with us (4 hour flight away) almost a year ago. When SS first came to us, he was a nightmare. He still cant be, but he's getting better. He has ADHD and possibly ODD. She never parented him, always left him with her parents and was his buddy.

BM called SS9 a couple hours ago and I was in the room, so I could hear everything. Obviously I could only hear his end of the conversation, but by his tone and his words, and just knowing how he was acting prior to the call, I knew he was fine. But, BM just so happened to call during SS's timeout. So she asks how he is, and he says that he's been in a timeout for 2 hours, which is complete bull. He wasn't even in a time out, I had told him that he has to sit down and think about what he did wrong, because he "couldn't remember". We were all in the same room and I was talking to him the whole time and giving him hints here and there about what it was that he did wrong. He wasn't crying or whining or complaining. But because he basically tells BM that he's in a perpetual timeout here and made it seem like we neglect him, blah blah blah. She gets mad and wants to speak to me. I said no I'm busy, DH will be home soon, she can talk to him.

Then DH comes home after a long day, barely gets his shoes off, and SS says "BM wants to talk to you. She's mad and wants me to come home". So DH gets on the phone with her. I guess she tells him to put him on the next flight home, so DH is mad and yells at me and says now I have to send him home because of how you treat him. Then I start bawling my eyes out. I'm completely torn apart. Here I am raising SS, trying to right the wrong. BM just dumped this messed up kid on me. I say me, because DH works a lot and because of that I am able to stay home with the kids. The thing is SS and I get along fairly well when no one else is around. I've noticed that when DD2 is around, I'm a protective momma bear, but when I'm out with SS alone, we can actually enjoy each other's company. He tells me that I'm a good parent and that I'm fair. He wants to be around me and hang out with me. Yes, I will admit that I am hard on him. I don't baby or coddle him, like DH and BM do. No, I do not pretend to be his mom. His BM is a royal fuck up, but they do have a bond, like a co dependent kind, not parent-child.

Anyways, DH has since apologized and said he's on my side no matter what. He will send SS home at the end of the school year. I told him, while crying hysterically that after all I've done for him (SS), he goes and lies to BM about the way I've treated him. ARGH. I'm just so angry with all of DH, BM and SS right now. I know step parenting is a thankless job, but something I really feel like I'm getting somewhere with SS. No one has ever parented him before. He was top dog. I've knocked him down a few pegs (figuratively) to where he respects me as an authoritative figure. He still views DH as someone he can manipulate, but anyways. I just don't know how to feel about this. I'm torn up. On the one side, I'm relieved, on the other, I'm so angry at the way someone can take and twist my motives, when I only have the right intention. I feel like all the work, the energy and time I've spent taking care of SS, helping him, reminding him, parenting him, etc, has been a wash.

If you've read up to this point, I just want to thank you for "listening"...