So, it's been a while since I have vented and I have been doing so well with handling little things here and there. However, I suddenly feel the need for my therapy (which is venting to you guys!), so here goes.

Last week, DH had a parent/teacher conference to discuss SD11. She is in 5th grade and has been doing well all year until she took her practice End of Grade (EOG) test. She was one of many in her class who failed and the teacher requested a conference to discuss. So DH attends, as well as BM and her husband. I chose not to attend but now wish I had. The conversation quickly went from how to help SD study for this test to how SD is "too close" to the younger SD who is 7 and in 1st grade. BM and her husband started saying that SD11 spends too much time with SD7 and doesn't try to be a fifth grader. She's having a hard time growing because she is so wrapped up in associating with SD7 and her little world. WTF!?! Okay, SD11 takes dance with kids that are her age, plays soccer with kids that are her age and has friends in her school that are her age. She has friends that are her age in after school care and we have mutual friends that have children her age that she sees on the weekends and such. Yes, her and SD7 are very close, but shouldn't we be happy about that? They love each other so much and are so protective of one another, yet they each have their own individualities. This was completely being over-analyzed.

So the next day, DH receives a phone call from BM which he let go straight to voice mail. He let me listen to it. She was saying that she felt as if SD11 & SD7 should be separated one night a week. They could keep one and we could keep the other. She said that she knew it may be inconvenient, but she really felt the girls needed it because they each hunger for "one on one attention, especially SD7" and they really needed to do what was best for the kids and the teacher seemed to agree. Gag me please! First of all, if DH & BM were still married, would they be splitting these two children up once a week? Um, I think not. People who have children don't just split them up - my God! DH and I discussed it and we said that on our weekends with the girls, I could spend one on one time with one SD and he could take the other - and we could just do it on our own, in our own households. Same thing for BM - her and her husband could do the same thing.

Well, DH still hadn't called BM back to discuss it, so she called again this morning. He told her exactly what I had said - about if they were still together, they wouldn't be splitting them up. They should do their own thing with them, and we're going to do ours. She said that wasn't really fair, because the SD's don't really want to do one on one things with her husband (I guess it's a little more awkward for him and easier for me, since I'm a girl). Whatever - not our problem, right?? He also went on to tell her that she needed to calm down and quit over-analyzing the issue - the main thing here is making sure SD11 passes her EOG test and it's getting blown out of proportion.

BM goes on to tell DH that she talked to the girls about it this weekend and they were really excited and wanted to do it and were already talking about what nights they wanted to do it - guess which night? Wednesday - we never have them on Wednesday nights, which means if she got her way, we would be picking up an extra night. DH flat out told her he was not going to pick up an extra night - that he and I both have very busy jobs and we couldn't commit to adding on days to shuffle kids - especially when we don't live in the same town. It pisses me off that she has already started talking about it to the girls, getting them all pumped up, when it's not going to change. That wasn't right. So he told her he would talk to the girls tomorrow night and as of right now, the schedule was not going to change - he said that the schedule has been the way it is for three years now and that's what everyone is used to and consistency is important (my words exactly).

I guess I'm just aggravated about the whole thing. First of all, I didn't go to the conference and now wish I had. I just felt it would be uncomfortable for me and was confident DH could handle it. But he was obviously outnumbered. If I had gone, the minute I would have spoken up and said my opinion, BM would have shot me down and said something ugly, I'm sure. Second of all, DH and I had a discussion a couple of weeks ago about how BM is always calling him during the day and they were having all these conversations that I'm not fully aware of or involved in, instead of making her call at night while we're at home. And lastly, while I'm glad he told her all the things he told her, he still sort of left it unfinished by saying "nothing is changing for now and I'll talk to the girls about it tomorrow night", instead of saying flat out, "nothing is changing, we're handling it our way in our home and you need to do the same" - period, dot, end of discussion.

I don't know - I keep saying they are over-analyzing SD, but maybe I'm over-analyzing the entire situation, too. I am just the kind of person who likes consistency and I do not adjust well to change. If the schedule starts getting thrown out of whack, then I'll be out of whack, too.

If you guys have read all of this, then a huge thank you!! If you have any thoughts or advice, please feel free to let me know!!