Feeling weird part II... pillow talk
So after my post last night I finally got into bed, and DH was still awake. He wasn't feeling well so I kind of assumed he'd just pass out.
We lay there for awhile, and then I just asked him how he was feeling about everything on day II.
He said he had feelings that were very mixed. There have been moments already when SS's said things like "Daddy I miss you all the time when I'm in (SS's State)," and then other times, like when SS insists on saying grace at the table when DH feels like SS isn't his.
Don't get me wrong, it isn't saying grace that we are wierded out by, it's just that the constant questions about why God did things.... well, I'll elaborate below. Point is it's a little like having BMs ghost in the house. I don't like it either, as for some reason it makes me feel like the girlfriend again, like his mere presence de-legitimizes our marriage.
ANYWAY. I was SO glad he told me all of that, because then I could say I felt EXACTLY the same way. So far it's been okay, but very weird. I knew it would be an adjustment for SS, but I didn't realize it'd be such an adjustment for us.
I don't think either of us realized either how much it would bother us both when SS calls TV-dinner Dad 'Daddy.' Good Lord, it damn near makes my eye twitch.
It's just so frustrating. Everytime he says it I remember what an attitude BM had when SS started calling me 'Mimi' despite the fact that we flat out told her that he wouldn't be encouraged to call me Mommy... ever... And now she pulls this bullshit. I thought I was just mad at her on DH's behalf, but I don't think I am. I also don't know if I'll ever be able to get over how much it bothers me. All of it. Not just him calling some other dude 'Daddy' but that this dude was cozy with that after just 90 days of knowing this kid. What... a fucking... creeper...
Anyway, point is it was a real relief to share that with DH. I know it won't last forever, and it won't always be like this, but right now I just LOVE that even on things that probably are good things, we're still on the same page.
Elaboration on God stuff. This morning SS asked me what my favorite thing in the whole world was. I gave it some thought and told him "Your Daddy." He told me that God should be my favorite thing in the world. I told him, "Well, sorry kiddo, but it's still your Daddy. Sometimes I feel very grateful because I think God allowed me to meet your Daddy, does that count?"
I'm sure many other fun/awkward conversations will ensue.
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He's 5. Our beliefs are
He's 5. Our beliefs are different from his/BM's. BM and TV-dinner Dad are teaching him about God. It is usually a good thing, but we're concerned about the extremes it may be taken to.
For example, see summer surprises blog post and read about the creepy Jesus doll. :sick:
That is rad.
That is rad.
It hasn't come to that,
It hasn't come to that, yet.... but I have a feeling it could. Keeping a watchful eye.
To be honest, I have to make sure it doesn't happen here either. DH is very anti-creationism, and I've had to tell him once or twice that according to the CO, if SS asks "did God make _____," no is not an acceptable answer.
Wow, that is a weird thing to
Wow, that is a weird thing to be in a CO. My husband's divorce decree was very standard and did not have any weird crap in it. I cannot even imagine. I am so sorry you have to deal with this.
We're just lucky that's all
We're just lucky that's all that's in there. She wanted it to clearly state that until age... 15 I think, his religion is understood as being Christian and that we aren't to teach him anything that contradicts that.
Luckily, I almost went to seminary, and pagan or not I am very familiar with biblical text and the many interpretations thereof.
I doubt we'll have any problems, as long as I can get DH thinking the right way when he fields awkward questions about God.
For example, NO is not an acceptable answer, but the perfectly acceptable response is "Some people believe that." DH can even say he doesn't, and it's still within the appropriate realm.
Oh verbage. Tis a wonderful thing.
I'll just tell him people in
I'll just tell him people in glass houses sink ships...
let him stew on that for awhile.