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Any minute now I'm going to start snarling...

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Tue, 06/25/2013 - 9:27pm

So we got a notice from the post office today that said there was a package waiting for SS. We'll end up picking it up tomorrow. Immediately after the silly post card thing I'm panicking inside, going 'what now?'

So I texted BM to ask her if SS was expecting a package. She said she'd sent him some toys he wanted and some fruit strips.

Fruit strips, the one food that she and DH fought about because of sugar content the one and only time they talked about what SS eats.

This is what I mean about feeling like they're trying to push into my home.

The package WILL be opened prior, which I was debating before but now am sold on. The fruit snacks will be put up and away where he can have them on his way to the airport when he leaves, or thrown out... not sure yet.

Send food you know MY kids won't eat to your whiny little son eh?

We'll see how well that works out for you, fatty.

Comments

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Tue, 06/25/2013 - 10:39pm

It's annoying, because to some degree I still feel like I'm making mountains out of molehills, but if they keep this up I'm going to start sending him a box every solstice full of annoying noisy toys and books with titles like "Jimmy's first Full Moon."

Jerks.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Tue, 06/25/2013 - 10:40pm

Then I'd be laughing my ass off instead of snarling.

Still not giving it to him... but laughing for sure.

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Tue, 06/25/2013 - 9:51pm

Wait she hasn't opened the box yet, there may be a cross. I am wondering if it is the 12 disciples from the last supper to go with the stuffed Jesus. }:)

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Tue, 06/25/2013 - 9:56pm

LMAO

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Tue, 06/25/2013 - 10:30pm

I have only seen the chocolate crosses. You must get pictures of the chocolate Jesus and share next Easter. Smile

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Tue, 06/25/2013 - 10:42pm

If that were the case, since SS doesn't like chocolate. I would take video of my oldest daughter eating them all headfirst and show it to you on youtube. }:)

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 6:20am

I agree with this.

OP - You complain about feeling like religion is being pushed on you, yet you continue to insert yourself in the middle of it all.

If the content of the packages, postcards, etc bothers you, why do you continue to subject yourself to it? BM isn't the one pushing this on you. Your need to be controlling & nosy & in the middle of everyone's business is what creates the problem.

Is your husband incapable of taking care of this business, or are you just too controlling to allow him to?

You're being petty & creating issues that don't need to be there.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 6:37am

THIS

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 8:12am

If OP & her DH are on the same page, there should be no problem with HIM doing what he feels needs to be done with the package.

If they are NOT on the same page, it's still up to HIM to do what he feels needs to be done with the package.

OP inserting herself is creating drama for herself, for BM, & for SS that is completely unnecessary. For what reason...????

To prove that SHE controls her house!

Yeah...because that means anything to anyone but her.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 12:01pm

Well, to be honest it doesn't have to mean anything to anyone else. I'm the one paying rent.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 12:09pm

He's been here the entire time. He was there when I saw the notice. I asked him before I sent the text. We talked about what we'd have to do post-text, all after SS went to bed for the evening.

Healthy eating and lifestyle is something my DH and I have in common, not something either of us pushes on the other.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 12:00pm

The argument was over whether or not we'd feed them to him. She sent him the brand and the link. He said no. She flipped the fuck out. He ignored her.

Parallel parenting is kind of our goal here.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 11:59am

If I didn't have children of my own living in the house as well, it wouldn't be an issue.

While the religion thing is annoying, I don't plan to act on any impulses.

I am controlling in the sense that I don't think it's acceptable for SS to eat something his sister's can't have in front of them, and it's bothersome that BM would send something like that when she's knows that's the case.

Neither DH or I send stuff to him that she's expressed distaste with. We just don't. It's her house.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 12:32pm

Ok, now this one I can understand. By the arrival of the fruit snacks you're stuck with decision of 1)letting SS naw down on a 'treat' the other kids feel left out of setting up jealousy and resentment or 2)setting off a kid war fest of 'mean ol MySpoon/Dad stole my goodies BM sent me'. You can pretty well bet, BM will be asking SS if he did indeed recieve his fruit sticks. I think it's better to be upfront the snack did arrive but is being carefully saved away for when he leaves.

By taking out the household forbidden snack (setting them up for him to take home with him later), you're trying to avoid unneeded drama. But I think it has to come along with a discussion with SS by Dad. Don't just take them and act like they didn't come. SS certainly would not like it if the other kids got sugar free pudding and SS got carrot sticks. Or the other's were having a banana and SS got a celery stick. SS would feel angry and treated unfairly. Let Dad talk to his son in a teaching manner. Better to make an understandable 'lesson' out of it than 'grabbing it away and announcing kid, you aren't eating that crap at my house'.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 12:06pm

Fatty isn't a fruit strip reference, BM really is gaining an impressive amount of weight because of how her family eats.

Fruit strips are a gummy candy 'made with REAL fruit juice' that she tried to get DH to agree to feed SS while he's here.

We said no.

We still say no.

We're still trying to get comfy with all this, or as comfy as we can be. This is the first summer visitation since the new CO, and last summer BM withheld visitation completely. So yes, I am a bit tense. That's why I come here to vent.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 11:54am

This.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 8:44am

I'm rather 'lost' on your Gettysburg being sugar content in fruit sticks. For example, an apple fruit stick has less 'sugar' than eating a full apple. Or are apples banned in your home too?

I really doubt this show down has much to do with what the actual sent snack was as much as it does about being that child got something sent the other kids did not.

I'm not saying it's perfectly ok for BM to send whatever she pleases via gift packages to someone else's home, but we're talking a box of fruit sticks here. Not a puppy or a case of Red Bull.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 11:55am

There is a specific brand she was trying to convince DH to let him have at our house. It is not dried fruit, it is a gummy snack 'made with REAL fruit juice.'

And no, I don't let my kids have that.

So at my house, SS doesn't get it either.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Wed, 06/26/2013 - 2:48pm

In a way perhaps, but partly because I put myself there.

I won't initiate an argument with her about it, and I'd rather not engage in one.

However, when she's said things to my DH like "Well I just refuse to be a sugar nazi!"

My response to him later was... Fine... I will.

In and of itself the fruit snack thing isn't a big deal. I will not allow junk food in my house. The kids can order anything they want when we eat out. Occassionally when there are special events, like major holidays or last week the visit from their Aunt and my grandmother, we baked cookies one day. But we're pretty serious about not having junk in the house. Borderline religious infact, as if the kitchen were a temple where we treat ourselves with goodness... or something like that.

It was a one-time argument, and it's never come up again, just because when I told him not to argue about stuff that goes on in the other house he said "Well she brought it up," and I pointed out how much like a fifth grader he sounded.

And I will admit that things that go on in the other house do reinforce my own resolve in things like food. For example, BM says it's all good because she only gives SS candy and soda and junk sometimes. Sometimes to BM, we were told later, is once a day before bed. Not just one of the above, but all three... before bed.

And so sugar nazi is in my future. It is what it is.