is this request unreasonable?
Why doesn't mil understand why it's disrespectful to be buddying it up with bm?? mil is still blowing dh up and trying to harrass Dh to I dont know, convince? him that her trying to communicate with bm is a good thing. Mil wanted nothing to do with bm when Dh and I first started dating and Dh was living w/ his mom, now that we have our own home mil suddenly wants to do all these favors for bm and offer bm a shoulder to cry on. where as before it was "bm is a loser" "i hate bm" etc and there was zero communication before bm and mil. like I said in my previous post mil is now trying to justify her behavior saying she's doing dh a favor because she's only "looking out" for Ss's best interest but when dh lived with her she could care less, what's so different now? I know mil is cray but is my dh being unreasonable by being angry that his mom is acting this way? As far as Dh is concerned, if his mom wants to play devil advocate, he doesn't want to go around and I have to say I agree. This would all be different if bm and mil had a great relationship before dh and i got together but that was never the case. I guess with all the crap going on i'm starting to question my sane-ness lol.
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Does dh's mom have control
Does dh's mom have control issues? My grandmother did this with my ex to i attributed it to her control freak issues.
Ooooh yeah, big time. She's
Ooooh yeah, big time. She's having a real hard time "letting go".
my mil talks about dh's ex
my mil talks about dh's ex like she's a dog, but is very friendly to bm to her face. mil is two-faced, but she does it to be close to skids, and seeing them only on dh's time isnt enough for her to do all the spoiling she wants to do. but she talks to bm, telling her our business and i draw the line at that. my mil and i will never be as close as i once thought we would, simply because i do not trust her. maybe your mil wants more time with skids because your dh doesn't live with her anymore and she doesn't have as much time as she'd like with them. i know my mil way over-steps a grandparent's duties (if dh and i had kids, there's no way in hell she'd have the say so she has with skids), and maybe your mil is very close to skids. i'd let your dh know that he cannot control who his mom has a relationship with, but the two of you should NEVER allow her to know your business, and be very careful about trusting her.
well ever since dh moved out
well ever since dh moved out mil doesn't talk about bm anymore, now she just goes on and on about how bm is a poor single mom.
that's my worry there is that because mil is being so friendly with bm that she is telling her what goes on in our home and what we're doing. mil is a gossip like that and that i'm not okay with.
Ooh yeah, dh has let mil know over and over that she can hang out with/speak with whoever she chooses to but he doesn't want to hear about it. mil likes to talk to bm and then call dh and try to get him to relent to whatever bm is crying about and dh is not cool with that. I dont trust this woman at all. I thought for sure in the beginning that i was going to be close with her but that changed fast when we stopped doing every little thing is wanted us to do.
My MIL just pissed DH off
My MIL just pissed DH off last night for this crap. Found out from SIL that apparently BM2 married her little boy toy a couple of weeks ago and when she went on her honeymoon, she left SS14 with MIL because SS still had school. (Yeah, good SELFISH planning BM) DH knew NOTHING about any of this. Now mind you MIL has no problem talking about what a weirdo, skank BM is, how she has never liked BM blah blah blah, but then she goes and does this little covert babysitting job for BM??
My MIL does this shit, because she LOVESSSSSS to be in the middle of everything, she LOVESSSSS to gossip, so she must have been just chomping at the bit to have SS there so she could get all the redneck wedding details to pass on the whole freaking County.
It's funny, because MIL just asked me the other day to bring BS3 over to go swimming next week while I am on vacation and I WAS going to. Nope, not now. I have no desire to hear about BM2 and her Super Skanky Red Neck Wedding, and how poor pot smoking, beer drinking, shoplifting, school failing, SS14 is sooooo misunderstood. Hell to the no.
yep, my mil is a busybody and
yep, my mil is a busybody and tries to use the excuse of being a christian for everything she does as an excuse. it's stupid. my mil would do this to until dh told her we don't want to hear about bm, i don't get why these crazy mil think we want to sit and hear about bm and what they are doing. it's bad enough we have to deal with them just in general but why would we want to sit and talk about them. I feel like mil is trying to turn this all on me though, lately she's been texting dh that she's always going to care about dh and ss even though he is starting a new life.. before she would include me and my unborn baby. whatever though, I dont need that crazy in my life anyway.
yep, my mil is a busybody and
yep, my mil is a busybody and tries to use the excuse of being a christian for everything she does as an excuse
OMG! Do we have the same MIL?? Mine definitely must have missed the Sunday service where pastor talked about how gossiping is bad. The woman is seriously on the phone from sun up til sun down and it is just a solid gossip fest. She also talks about how BM1 and her whole fam damily are the biggest bunch of losers out there (and they are), but she talks to BMs mother at least once or twice a week, they are like little buddies...but that way she can get all the juicy gossip to pass around. I shut her down if she starts talking about either BM when I am there... I just tell her I don't want to hear about.
I can only imagine what she tells everyone about me. UGH!
Maybe it's just an inlaw
Maybe it's just an inlaw thing. My ex and I had the longest marriage of all his siblings. My ex mil talked bad about everybody they were with the whole relationship. And she really hated me! Main reason was I was always respectable to them but never would get sucked in to the bashing and wouldn't talk about the others behind their backs. Plus I took care of my kids. All the others like living off the taxpayers. Now she thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Go figure?? But she was like that with ALL her kids significantly others or spouses.
My current inlaws I don't know so well ( and honestly kind of happy with it) but bm2 they talk bad about but i see pics of her in all the family events on dh side. Not hers. His. So who knows!!
As a mil myself now, I can honestly say I want to be respectful to her whether they stay together forever or things don't work out, but I will have boundaries and I do now. I love her very much but I don't want all in their business and I didn't raise a mommas boy so we don't do drama lol.
If I ever forget and stray from my statement then please recall this post and set me back in line