It Just Got Worse
I will skip straight to the worst. SD16 went to hit DH and he put her to the ground to restrain her. Then she was saying her back hurt and she's going to live with her grandpa and she's taking it to court so she never has to live here again.
Previous to this DH had told she couldn't go do something. She was doing her thing that she does by following him around saying "Dad - dad - daaad- dad". He was telling her to knock it off while walking away. Few minutes later he comes around the corner saying he is headed to town to turn off her phone. She is crying talking on her phone.
He told me she wouldn't knock off her whining and complaining about how mean I am to her and how I don't want her here. She was blaming everyone for being horrible to her. He was telling her she's the one who is rude and mean. She punched the wall (not the first time). Since she wouldn't stop he said he was shutting off her phone. She flipped out worse and lunged for him. He restrained her to the ground.
He left to go shut off her phone. She had a friend pick her up. He came back without shutting off her phone and said the line was really long so he will do it later. Ugh!
I tried to piece together what I saw and what he told me. Hope it made sense.
Advice please, please, please.
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Line was too long?
with SD's attitude I would have waited all night long in line with baited breath to get the damn thing big shut off. Sounds like a idle threat to placate.
I would have waited too. When
I would have waited too. When he told me he left because the line was too long I put my face in my hands. He snapped something at me I can't remember and I said he gets mad at her and then takes it out on the rest of us. He said he didn't mean it like that. Then he came again a minute or two later saying he was sorry he snapped at me about it. I probably shouldn't have show a reaction when I've been trying to remove myself from anything to do with her and he was already worked up. Still, I wish he would follow through.
This definitely sounds like
This definitely sounds like nothing but an excuse most carriers you can call in or go online and shut it off yourself no need to stand in lines. Idle threats like this just show kids that they can control and manipulate the situation by acting out.
He got it suspended
He got it suspended
Sadly, ... this situation
Exposes DD-8 to a high level of risk -- from SD, DH & from your perceived lack of protection in a domestic violence situation. It's easy to say, "It wasn't me or DD-8 wasn't hurt," unfortunately you can still temporarily lose custody.
Be careful. Be proactive & make a plan. DD-8 relies on you. CPS likely will be in your life shortly.
I think I will look at flight
I think I will look at flight availability.
In my experience
It's amazing how things can be turned "cattywhampus" once CPS & the courts are involved.
All 3 stepgrand-kids with two different biodads as primary custodians are now wards-of-the-state. (SD-34 now is indigent in another state) In one household, biodad - primary sole custody, also lost temporary custody of 3 other children by a seperate biomom.
Try to keep the police, the courts & social services out of your life w/DD-8.
I am confused, isnt DD8
an "ours" child, yours and DH's? I dont agree with taking the child out of state. Out of the house, yes
I dont have any relatives in
I dont have any relatives in my own state.
Never right to take kids away
If he files an order when you leave, expect trouble.
Prepare for the visit from
Prepare for the visit from CPS.
OP, you have to get away from this madness.
CPS in my state has a 44%
CPS in my state has a 44% higher rate of removal than the rest of the US. If they get ahold of a family you are done for. You could be the most functional and loving family ever but if someone makes a false allegation or you upset the wrong person who can make a real angel sound like a devil and they catch wind of it, kids are gone. I know two people who to this day doesn't know where they took their children. They don't follow the laws here. They have there own and they do their own internal reviews. I might decide to leave the state.
Your post makes my stomach clench
Intellectually, I know that we must listen & believe initially children's reports of abuse. Err on the side of the child. Protect the child. Usually there is a grain or boulder of truth.
Unfortunately in our current system, innocent or ignore-ant folk can be caught up & punished -- collaterol damage. I have step-grands on both sides of that story.
Consider yourself & DD-8. I am sincere in my caution to protect her.
I'm starting to see the other
I'm starting to see the other side of this. By DH not controlling SD and her acting out it creates a dangerous and damaging environment for DD and everyone else.
Have you guys considered
Have you guys considered filing assault charges against her first? What about a psychiatric hold? There has to be something that can be done preemptively to stop her from false allegations. You have a terrorist on your hands.
This. You should have called
This. You should have called the cops on her and had her taken to the pokey.
huh
"she went to hit him" - not she hit him and "he put her to the ground" - he will be headed to the pokey
If CPS Gets Involved...
You will never get rid of them. I could never be in this situation because I'dve literally curled up and died if anyone took my kids away. When I caught SS41 (now a successful family man, then 20yo) selling pot (outside the house at his job), he was out the next week. When I told my DH, he had a minute of disbelief, and in that moment of not believing me I was planning my exit.
Im seeing this more and more.
Im seeing this more and more. It also gets worse. I have 6 felony conviction. They are over 16 years old. Ive alway known that if CPS gets ahold of me I'm probably doomed and it will take every bit of my sanity to not curl up and die if my child is taken.