Some people hate Mondays, I hate Thursdays!
Its Thursday, the most dreaded day of the week.
On the bright side, SO is away for work this week so SD is not coming tonight. But its our weekend so she will be coming tomorrow.
The anxiety has already started. It's been slowly brewing but its come out in full force this morning.
Here's what I have to look forward to this weekend...
It will start out by picking SD up on my way home from work tomorrow. I will call her and tell her i'm on my way to get her and to be ready. I will pull up and she won't be ready. I'll go to the door and knock on it and it will take her forever to answer because instead of letting me in, she will get her things ready and put on her coat and boots and leave me waiting outside in the -20 degree weather.
She will finally come out and we will get in the car. I'll say hi and she will mumble a barely audible "hi" under her breath. Ill smile and ask her how her day was. She will say "fine". And then we will drive in silence to our house, which thank God is only a 2 minute drive, and she will stare at me the whole time. Yeah, she's one of those kids that stare. For no reason. And when I ask her why she's staring at me she says "im not". Ok there creepy! I can clearly see you staring at me but whatever!
We will get home, she will play with Dog for a minute, bring her things upstairs after I have to ask 3 times and then she will come down and watch TV while I tidy the kitchen and start dinner. SO wont be home for another hour or so.
SO will come home and she will burst into this bubbly happy child, "Hi daddy! I missed you!". Oh! So your not in a shitty mood? Just with me? Ok, I got that.
The rest of my weekend will be spent cooking, baking and cleaning with a few pauses here and there to escape to my bathtub and my nieces birthday party. Why? Because that's how I escape my stress. I clean. I will bake because "oh look at the mess I made. Guess I have to clean the kitchen again".
Its the only thing I can do to avoid having to be around SD. "Come watch a movie with us" they will both say. "Oh thanks but I really just want to get the house clean" I will lie. Let me tell you, if you came to my house every other weekend you could literally eat off of any surface you desired. I scrub like my life depends on it. Because my life DOES depend on it. My sanity anyways...
By Sunday my jaw will hurt because I have been clenching my teeth all weekend, I will have told SD at least 20 times to leave the dog alone, you're not sick your fine, get the dog out of her bedroom, clean up the bathroom after she has a shower, You're not sick, don't touch my stuff, put your dishes In the kitchen, You don't have a migraine, you don't even know what that is, don't touch my stuff, don't paint your nails while you have my angora blanket wrapped around you, better yet just don't use the blanket, don't touch my stuff, no you can't put your head in my lap, you're not sick you're fine, stop making the dog bark, don't touch my stuff.....
But by Sunday afternoon....oh how I love Sunday afternoon....It will all start to melt away because T-3 hours until she goes back to BM.
What day do you hate?
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>>>>I will pull up and she
>>>>I will pull up and she won't be ready. I'll go to the door and knock on it and it will take her forever to answer because instead of letting me in, she will get her things ready and put on her coat and boots and leave me waiting outside in the -20 degree weather.<<<<
Could you tell SD when you call her that if she's not ready to go when you get there that you'll be waiting in the car? *shrug* better than waiting in the freezing cold because of annoying kid behavior. My SD is never ready to go when FDH goes to get her - she's usually finishing up packing up until the last possible moment which ridiculous because she has about 5 hours to pack when she gets the call that he's on his way. She does the same thing on the day she goes home, too. *smh*.
For me, it's not any specific day of the week (though Thursdays at work are one of my least favorite because I'm usually worn the frick down and wishing it was Friday instead). But as far as SD/GUBM stuff goes, it's whatever day they're causing drama or issues for FDH - because they bleed into our relationship even when SD isn't here. This past week has been pretty damn awful because FDH is all miffed all the time because SD keeps lying to him and blowing him off when he has to talk to her. And now he has to talk to GUBM and he's extra cranky. Although I'm also not overly fond of the days that FDH has to drive SD back and forth, by himself, because he refuses to ask GUBM to help. So one day a month I have to forgo having my own car (because his car is too old and beat up to make the drive) and I have to forgo having FDH around. Granted, at the end of an SD visit it's much more enjoyable as it gives me a day all to myself without having to deal with any school/teenage skid drama.
This made me lol, I do the
This made me lol, I do the same thing with the baking and cleaning. There's only ever a couple hours every Sunday that we have SS and not DD too, and I make sure to get lots of cleaning done in that time. I dislike Saturday's the most though, at least I can escape for a bit when DD isn't here on Sunday's. Saturday's I get to deal with DH letting SS make huge messes, run the whole house, and do whatever he wants without consequence. This makes DD cry and get upset and jealous because she doesn't understand why she has rules, and can't just eat candy all day and watch whatever she wants on TV all night and day like SS does. It makes me feel bad for DD but I can't just give in and guilty parent because DH does, so it's lot's of fun...
Quite the joy to have her
Quite the joy to have her company around :sick:
You say "By Sunday my jaw will hurt because I have been clenching my teeth all weekend." and my husband has that problem too. Only my husband does that when he is with his own kids but was given advise from the ear, nose, and throat specialist. Any time your feeling yourself clenching your jaw, hold your tongue to the roof of your mouth until you can relax with keeping your mouth slightly open. It really works and stops you from clenching and the headaches that follow from you clenching.
I think you're a really nice
I think you're a really nice lady, but you're letting a bratty teenager walk all over you.
Do you see choices in what you wrote? I ask because I recently did an exercise where I learned that I don't see choices - I've got blinders on - when it comes to asking for help. So that's my weak point.
I think you already start out doing SD and DH the favour by picking SD up. You can set limits on that favour, like not always doing it. Is there a coffee shop anywhere near SD's house? Text her that you're on your way and she can find you there. Or tell her you'll be there 30 minutes before you actually plan to show up. Then text from the car that you're outside but have to leave in 5 minutes, so you hope she's ready.
No need to make yourself uncomfortable to do someone a favour.
The first time she made me
The first time she made me wait outside I was so close to losing my shit. She had literally 5 seconds before I left and then she came outside.
I think boundaries is our number one issue. And you are right I do totally resent her. We used to get along great and I had no negative feelings towards her, but the more she pushes my buttons and takes advantage of me the more I dislike her. It's to the point where she might not even be doing anything wrong but I still am annoyed by her. If she asks me a simple questions like what's for dinner or says she likes my shirt I am annoyed. I just don't want her anywhere near me. I don't want her to talk to me. Its bad. And I feel so incredibly guilty about it. SO has no idea that I feel this much resentment towards her. I mean how do you tell someone that? If someone told me my kid was annoying or they didn't like them I would be so offended!
^^^Great coping skill^^^ I
^^^Great coping skill^^^ I view anyone who is being annoying as cartoon characters. There are times when its hard to not laugh out loud but you feel a sense of control in your moods.