Counseling?
Well, I did it. I finally had the talk I'd been planning to have w/H, only it didn't go quite as planned. I just said things weren't working & I didn't want to live like this anymore, & we never got to the "why" because he just agreed that we should separate.
However, this morning I rec'd several texts from H while he was at work saying he wanted to work it out. So I suggested counseling. In the past he always said no, that there's nothing a counselor would say that we didn't already know & have already discussed, & actually I would tend to agree with this, but he agreed this time, so I guess we will be seeing a counselor.
The problem is, I'm still not really sure seeing a counselor will help with our issues, but I at least think we can TRY as a last ditch effort then at least we'll know we really tried everything before we just gave up.
So what are your experiences with counseling? Did it help? Were you able to overcome your issues? Did it save your marriage?
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My counselor
My counselor advice.......focus on today, make today a good day. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is not here. Start from the beginning, dont look to 5yrs from now, cuz you just dont know... and yesterday you cant go back and change..but you can make today a good day. As long as you are both working on Today, together.
As long as there is hope, there is still the dream.
Counselors....... i have my own opinions,and most of them just suck you dry with money. And I've never found one that really helped...most just ramble for 1hr, first half of it is bs, of repeating last session, then the rest of the sesson is some bs talking about whats changed since the last session. So for me, in counseling, it never went fwd..it was always 2 steps back.
I'd take the first paragraph of this reply and start with that,define goals, define the REAL problems, and focus on fixing what you can fix, TODAY.(could be a simple as a welcome home smile) worry about fixing the tomorrow's when tomorrow comes.
atleat until you two are able to find a counselor that works for you.
Good Luck!!
Well I decided I am going to
Well I decided I am going to try to talk to H one-on-one one more time about the issues we have that need correcting and then we will see a counselor as a last ditch effort before divorce if things go bad again. At least then the counseling sessions will be more focussed a some of you suggested because we will have already addressed what the issues are prior to.
Thanks for the advice!