When SD was born, DH had no idea if his or not, had DNA right after birth, SD is his and the story goes on. Had to do Paternity with court to Legitamize SD as his daughter and in that you state the last name factor. BM wanted SD to have her last name, being SD would live with her. DH agreed, which was the wrong decision as we see now. SD is almost 5 and BM is recently married, so her last name is not the same as SD's now. DH asks BM if she would agree to change SD's last name before kindergarten and she said NO. Oh gosh it wasn't just not no though, it was a whole spill of stupid comments and downgrades, etc etc etc. DH overlooked it. BM said DH is only doing it to benefit himself. How changing SD's name would benefit him is beyond me, but that is how the emotional rollercoaster looks at it. Anyway, it would confuse SD and blah blah. Which SD has asked if her name could be ours before and we told her that she had BM's name. SD is very smart and would have no problem with adjusting to a last name change. Now, BM has had no problem with SD calling me mom then almost a year later tells SD to call me my name when at her house being she can't stand hearing SD talk about Mom and Dad, referring to myself and DH. Ok, so that's not confusing to the child? Hmm. BM tells her black is a bright color, which I don't think it is and SD knows its not in the rainbow and not the color of flowers... So, that's not confusing? Hmm. And the list can go on and on and on and on. But we are dealing with a young BM, no offense to any young mothers out there. I could just scream. We could legally push the issue but we try to keep down the arguing for SD's sake being BM puts SD on such a guilt trip all the time. We need prayers for SD for desernment that she can see the truth about BM and not let that effect her emotional well being. The court system is screwed up, I will say that. If the BM is not doing drugs, etc in front of the child she is a good mother, regardless whether or not she is screwing the child up mentally and emotionally, which matter a whole lot in today's world. A child NEEDS STABILITY!! Gosh, I could go on and on.