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Getting a divorice

missangie1978's picture

I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of feeling alone in my own marriage and I'm sick of being the only one in this relationship that is trying to make changes and work on this marriage.

I'm also tired of SS and his his constant disrepect and the damn BM that is a total nut job and never thinks about her children and only herself.

I'm so stressed I'm making myself sick, haven't been able to do anything for myself and I'm tired of it... I want my life back and the person I was before DH. It's time I started thinking for me and me only.

Comments

klinder180's picture

Daddysgurl -- I don't know if it has anything to do with the posts on here but I have noticed that as seasons change (and the year comes to an end) that more and more people break up. There does seem to be less and less commitment that people feel towards relationships. It is too easy to walk away from things, its also too easy to not do the things that are needed to make relationships work. How hard is it to ask for and expect our natural kids and step kids to respect adults? We can't control the exs but we can control the effect they have on our emotions and feelings.

Sorry, long day at work.

Kevin

shandee's picture

Don't like your job....get a new one
Don't like your car ......get a new one
Don't like your wife...... get a new one.
I don't even remember what it was for, but i knew that part was true we live in an instant gratification type society. If you're not gettin what you need here get it somewhere else!!! We had a big discussion with our pastor about it, and he pointed something out to us. We are full of entitlement! Not that ppl are not entitled to be treated with love and respect, but i don't believe that we know how to work to achieve this anymore. I for one did not, and we have gotten very invovled in our church to find our way. Now i'm not a bible thumper but this has been the greatest thing we have ever done!! It gives your family a new focus, its not easy but faith isn't always....My husband wasn't really hip on the whole church thing at first. So my pastor said we have to lead by example, I started teaching sunday school, taking the kids to church. My husband would show up every couple sundays.Now we go every sunday together, he is joining our church, which is huge (i'm lutheran, which is more strict than what he is used to) it has helped us more than what we thought.

Stepmom_C's picture

My DH and I were just laughing the other night when we saw the bride spinning around and they said "get a new one.." He was like "nice.. now they are making divorce look easy."

I can't remember what the commercial was for either. But I'm well read on the entitlement thing. It's also generational. A lot of my employees are in their mid-20's and that is the first generation that has had the entitlement (not "wanting" for anything and so on). I actually had an employee come see me and ask me what the company is going to do better for him next year. He was looking for more vacation. What happened to climbing the corporate ladder and being thankful for having a job?? Ok - enough of that!

Good luck Angie. Maybe you can get counseling first? I really hope you can find some happiness.

Persephone's picture

say that second marriages or marriages that blend families have a higher divorce rate-- some studies put it at 60%.

It's not one person that causes a divorce it's the clashing of TWO value systems. Reading these posts, the vast majority of us have parenting conflicts. When the marriage is put second to unruly children, it's not so surprising that we disengage from the situation-- to the point we estrange ourselves from our spouse. This is a perfect recipe for divorce.

Coming to this community and talking about divorce is like going to an AA meeting and talking about drinking!! We are all looking for better ways to cope.

missangie1978's picture

It has nothing to do with instant gratification for me. The problem is that my DH doesn't want to put in an effort to make this marriage work and I'm tired of being the only one that even tries.

It's been 3 years and the first year was great but it has been going down hill from there. He isn't willing to do anything to make this marriage work and I'm to tired to try anymore. I'm just to exhausted emotionally and physically

shandee's picture

that you want to leave because you are having a bad day!! Don't think that ,its just what our society dictates is ok. I feel like i want to leave alot of days!!! If you're H isn't going to make it a priority and you two aren't on the same page there is nothing you can do about it, HE has to do it! When you feel you have changed and the other person isn't adapting w you , it is HARD to take!!! Maybe you should just take a break for a bit so you can sort it all out.

Stuck in the Middle's picture

I so agree with some posts here. The reason I decided to actually sign up was the fact that so many people are not really looking at their situation and I decided that someone needs to point out to some folks and play devils advocate. I just sigh and shake my head and wonder, are you really looking for a solution? Seriously, or are you just looking for a place to put blame on someone else?

It's soo easy to just disengage, walk away, throw your hands up and there are certain situations that yes, you do indeed need to do that, but it's not a long term solution. Many relationships simply fail because of the lack of communication, misunderstanding, and assumptions. Sometimes, you have to look at yourselves and ask yourselves some hard hard hitting questions that we don't want to answer or are way to afraid to ask. Are WE causing our own friction? It's easy to put the blame on someone else, but it does take two to tangle. And sadly, society does seem to appear to make it way too easy these days- even though in reality it's such a turmoil event to go through... but then just get some Pazil or Prozac.

Well, missangie... hope it works well for you!

Stuck in the Middle
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I used to have a handle on life. Then it broke.