Looks like we all have similar situation. Sorry to hear that!

This is my insane story of our dealings with the ex.
My husbands and his ex were only married 3 years with 2 kids now 10 and 12. I came along 3 years later when the kids were 5 and 3.
We have a child together who is 6.
The ex and I became friends, I know I know, I was young and thought that the easy way to deal with her, was to become friends with her!
We remained friends for about 5 years, I am talking "Best Friends"
Going to get are nails done, shopping, talking on the phone for hours about the kids, she would come to me when she needed something from my husband knowing he would give in to me, faster than he would to her.
She was always a Bitch even as a friend, she would joke that I was too nice and how she was going to make me bitchier.
And about a year and a half ago we had a falling out. OMG it has been a living hell ever since!
Nasty voicemails, Texts, She calls me stupid, irresponsible and pretty much any other name you can think of. Bad mouths me to my husband.
Anything we do for the kids now is wrong. We don't pay enough, we don't spend enough time with them, the way we dicipline is wrong, or according to her there is NO dicipline in our house. I am not allowed to buy my step daughter clothes, because the clothes I pick are unacceptable...I could go on and on....
She has gotten physical with me on one occasion.
I have ignored all the calls and texts....I tend to be a passive person.
Deep down I feel that ignoring it, makes me look like I can't hold my own to her. because I haven't responded for over a year to any of her attempt's to harrass me, yet she STILL sends me messages at least once a week!
So should I keep ignoring her or give her a piece of my mind?

Yeah right. I'm so glad I'm not the only one dealing with this!! For 2 1/2 years now my husband and I have been dealing with his psycho. Everything was beautiful with my husband and I in the very beginning (the first 3 weeks) and then his ex finds out he has moved on with his life (broken up for quite a few months now) and she flips out! My husband and I would hang out at his house and out of nowhere she would show up at his house (on 4 different occasions) and expect his to take her back on the spot (with me standing right there!) The sad part is, she lived an hour away. So she would drive for an hour and a half to hours, to and from his house (which at one point was OUR house) just to throw hissy fits, tell him he can't ever see his kids again, all just to get him back. On 4 different occasions i had to deal with this. And then she would call my husband 4 times a day everyday, and when he lost his phone, she felt she had the right to call my phone whenever she wanted to harass me and him. And lets just say that things have finally gotten a little better (now that she finally has a man) it took changing phone numbers, blocking e-mails and even deleting e-mail accounts, but the harassment just doesn't ever stop. She at even one point turned my step-daughters on me, to where i couldn't take it anymore. i was getting hit from both sides. My husband was about to lose his mind. We both felt we were about to lose each other at one point. He would sit there and look at each other and say "I don't want to go through this anymore..." Well like I said after all this time, we finally see SOME breaks in the storm, but the future doesn't seem to clear. You never know what to expect from her.

I am going through this too, my b/f and ex have been divorced for 5 years. They had 2 children together (10 and 6 years of age) and she moved them far away so my poor b/f rarely gets to see them. She is remarried and has a child with her new husband. He is never home, so she calls my b/f and his family constantly. She is disruptive to all of us. She will literally call 5 times in 10 minutes until someone answers. She finally took it too far and ruined a dinner party with my b/f, his parents, and some friends with her obnoxious phone calls. He ended up getting on the phone and blowing up at her, which ruined his evening, as he is very even tempered, but everyone had had enough of her at that point. (I think everyone's eyes started rolling when the phone started blowing up.) If she calls his house and cell and he doesn't answer, she will not leave a message and then she calls his parents to track him down. I have tried to stay out of it as much as I can, but the phone calls had gotten almost unbearable. His mother even confided in me how fed up she is. I hope this situation will put a stop to it. I do want her to be able to call him so that he can be an integral part of the decision making for his children, but it doesn't need to be so persistant! Being a potential 2nd wife/stepmother with a man whose ex is a little crazy is a challenge that you have to be ready to face. I have found some good books on Amazon, and the advice is helping, as my b/f and I are stronger than ever now.

As wonderful as I can say that my relationship is with my b/f and his 4 yr old son the force that is his ex wife has put such a stain on our relationship! He has been divorced nothing short of 6 months and has been involved in a bloody custody battle exceeding twenty thousand dollars a custody evaluator (we are waiting to see his $7000 opinion that will settle his custody battle) and mediation after mediation for the past three years. This woman is not concerned about the welfare of her son and how badly his father wants to be involved in his life, she has wrapped herself amidst the importance of the all mighty dollar and what she can get from him. My personal opinion is that she is playing a wicked game of cat and mouse. She Wanted nothing to do with him until she saw that he was involved in a loving healthy relationship and now that he has she is trying very hard to win him over again using their son as the tool. She initiated the divorce when their son was 11 months old, getting married in the first place soley to have a baby to replace the one that she aborted from a previous relationship. In her seperation papers she requested that birthdays, christmas' and all other inportant "family holidys" would be spent with the 3 of them! The three of them as a family! Hello! She wanted the divorce, wanted nothing to do with him ever again, but to this day after 3 years and almost 2 of him and I dating she is still refusing to settle the divorce and custody agreement because he does not want to spend time "as a family" for christmas. We have a new baby together which is very obvious she is pissed about and I have a daughter from a previous relationship and this ex has done everything in her power to keep her son from being an active member in our family. Whenever we try to plan a family event on the 3 hours he gets to see his son on thursdays, she makes the effort to always be conveniently going to the same event, and to make sure that she makes her presence known everytime to the point where she has taken pictures of us from across the arena like some secret agent. Fathers day just passed and she still offers to take her son and my b/f for a fathers day outing...forgetting that he has a girlfriend and two other children, and when he said no to her she made sure that their 4 year old son was standing there in tears to know that his dad wanted "nothing to do with them.." When she wants to see him she uses their son as a toy to get his attention. She has no friend other then her sister and she sends my b/f the longest letters about the special needs of their son and how her religious/homeopathic/ sheltered life is what he needs, the boy is 4 and sleeps with a soother with his mom. She treats him like a baby and with us he is a normal little boy. I am hoping to minimize the contact between her and us but feel guilty that their son is going to get hurt... I don't know what to do honestly because I love my family and feel very threatened by her and her ways. My b/f is exhausted in funds from fighting this ongoing custody battle and from his ex's controlling ways and I find that the more she is trying to intrude in our lives the farther apart I am starting to feel from my Family and man that I love with all my heart.

What a relief to find these stories, step back and realize I'm not alone in the 'ex-harassment' department!!! I thought I was going crazy myself with each horrible contact of insults we recieve from my husband's ex. My biggest concern is watching the manipulation of my 12 yo stepdaughter (and drained sad husband). The dreaded emails arrive each end of month, pushing for a $$$ advancement due to some off-wall story of afterschool ceramics, broken teeth, lost glasses, etc. Many times the poor 12yo girl is the one caught delivering the lie since my husband always calls the schools and doctors to confirm the 'false' stories. So how does one intervene in the morality of the child when her mother is no model for money management and prefers to lie and steal??? My husband's past attempts at explicitly looking for the truth has only caused more furious explosions from the ex and makes life more uncomfortable for his daughter. I know he must think its easier paying the ex off sometimes and I worry he hides half the crazy insults just to protect me and to avoid disciplining his daughter for lies. He seems to only see mom as the guilty party- but won't my stepdaughter turn out the same sooner than later? Any advice?

hi my name is kat and my husband and i have been married for 2 years now. my husband and his ex have been divorced for ten, however to her she wants him back. although she is engaged to someone else she has a sense of ownership over my husband(or so she thinks). When she is not in control of my husbands life she does everything she can do in her power to gain that control. In April after many little incidents i feel she really crossed over the line. Alison the oldest SC was having issues with her mother over a boy. and becouse the mother all of a sudden decided that the boy was no good she told alison that she would have my husband abd i pulled over the next we came to pick up the kids. so the next day my husband and i picked up the kids as usual and sure enough she had us pulled over. forgot to mention she is a dispatcher and her fiance is a cop in her town. anyways they had us pulled over and issued us 9 tickets the following day the same accord and we were issued 9 more of the same tickets. all of which were invalid. soon later the ex wife had enough of alison and decided that she would come to live with. alison lived with us untill sep when her father and her got into a minor disagreement and alison called the ex wife and the ex wife wanted to pick her up my husband said no becouse of school and that was that or so we thought. the next day after alison got done with school the ex wife picked her up and never brought her home instead brought her to dyfys accusing me the step mom of not providing food for the daughter. alligations were found to be false. since then alison has not been home the ex wife today went and enrolled alison in school at her town even though the custody has not been changed to her. aparently the ex wife told the judge that we were made aware of the court date through her lawyer and that we were not there in court. we were never made aware of this. so becouse we weren't in court she got alison enrolled in school. my husband and i are struggling to keep it together however with her eratick behavior we are finding things to be so tough. if someone can help me with advice pleaseplease give me what you got i need all i can get right now. im afraid that she is going to win this one and that i am going to lose my husband. he has already told me to go away for a few years and that hes not divorcing me however just go away from all this and come back in a few years and things will be different. im so scared please there has to be someone out there that can help thank you so for allowing me to vent thank you love kat katmandrik@yahoo.com

I have been sat here reading all your stories and its so nice to know i am not alone and i would really appreciate your thoughts on my situation.

My partner and i have been friends for many years and go together just over 2 years ago, he had split with his ex quite recently and we just went out for company. At the same time it also came out that she had been seeing someone which was great - looked like everyone was moving on!

She never wanted the kids to meet me and was determined to make sure they hated me, and with this in mind i was petrified! however i get on well with them particulary the 14 year old, the 9 year old is very much like her mother and wants to know everything like how much we spend on things and where we have been etc, i just get the feeling she is reporting back to her mother.

My partner pays the mortgage on his ex house, this cost of twice what he is supposed to pay with regards to child maintenance and the other half is obviously his half towards the mortgage as he still jointly owns the home! She is always abusive stating that he never pays anything towards the kids and sends them round with lists of things they need and makes out to the kids that there dad doesn't care and doesn't pay anything.

They come over once during the week and one day at the weekend, sometimes over night, there is the odd occaision that we may need the change the night during the week or change the day at thr weekend and she will not allow it, she says that if we can't make that date then we have lost out and she tells the kids that there dad doesn't care about them and has dropped them again!

He obviously tells the kids the situation that something has come up and he loves them very much etc but i can't get my head round why she is still so nasty when she has someone else and the kids are happy! She is often not there when we drop the kids home and she makes them get there own dinner which is usually something on toast! and when she does cook its always something and chips, they don't get given salad or vegetables and she makes out he is the bad parent!

It was agreed that shold she live with someone for a certain period of time by partner could sell the property, well that time has come and he has offered it to her and her partner who we know lives there as the kids have said so have the neighbours and she has denied it making it impossible for us to get anywhere with it. So we now have to struggle with out own bills etc and pay her mortgage, now we know we have to pay towards the kids but they do not get it and she pleeds poverty to everyone when her new partner works full time and lives there so how can they be poor, particulary when the kids come over with new clothes etc all the time!

It just drives me crazy, i make my partner either not reply to her messages or reply in a pleasant way as i feel that may difuse an argument she is trying to start.

Please help if you have any advice you can give on this as i am now starting to struggle with the situation!

Thanks so much

My partner's ex is completely crazy I really feel sorry for the poor 5 year old girl that is being put through all this and just misses her Daddy, she not only blames me for them not getting back together(we got together when they were already split) now that he has come out with our relationship and is living with me she has stopped all visitations with his daughter because she doesn't like me and is claiming that I yell at my own children and that she doesn't want her child around me,he is really hurt I worry if our relationship can handle all the drama. We both are so happy in our own relationship and feel we finally found what we both have always been looking for I am just not sure if I can deal with the crazy ex who lies and makes his life a living hell with no regards to her own child well being.I just hope it gets better as time goes on!!

Hello, i have been ingaged for year to the man i have been dating for 6years. let me start out by saying i was going through a divorce and he and his wife were on the outs, BOTH told me the had a 10-12 year agreement, he would supply a home life for her ifshe gave him 2 children. this happened and after 14years they NEVER drove in the same car or even slept together. she wasnt home when he was and he wasnt home whenshe was. i finally gave him a choice stay living the way he was and not be with me or stop and us start out together. when she found out i said this she was NOT mad it was her hubby, it was all about her finace security. she told me she didnt care if i was with him just dont take him or she would have her comfort. well as you can see it didnt work her way or at least all her way. he moved out and in with me. she started to lose the house and 10 acers. we took over the property and kept it. she started dating and got marriwd for a 4th time.the problem she is invited to EVERYTHING we have along with her new hubby. understand keeping things kosher for the kids,however, one is going to the military and one is 14. it isnt like they dont understand what is going on. i can understand a wedding, birth of a grandchild, er reasons, school functions, but not picnics, or when his old navy buddies come in. her new hubby invites him over to hang out and have a beer or hunt. yes, i have gone a few times. i dont feel comfortable, they are not my type of people, the like to drink a lot, get abnoxious and loud. she answers questions people ask me about her ex. he tells me since they settled out of court and divorced civil set on 600 a month child support pays for any extra the child wants that he wants her new hubby to understand he is still the father and supports the child not the new hubby. trust me i understand making it easy for the kids. i dontlike having her at everything and have tried to explain this only to fight or not be told she and her new hubby will be showing up. i dont speak to them and if i have to i answer short. my to be hubbies family cant believe he does this. he suggested we go to paris island to see his son graduate from bootcamp this summer and spend a few days at the beach. i find out in open conversation that his daughter wants to know how we will all fit in the jeep. when i said he and i in the front and his daughter and my two in the back, she wanted to know where her mom was going to sit. NO!this is tooo much. i dont want her going with us, in our jeep, following us down or staying with us or near us on vacation. im going nuts. any insight please help. i need help onhow to talk about this with tack and not get heated so he builds a wall and walks away. i feel as my feelings are not considered at all.