Nothing big, just need to write a little
It has been so nice not having to deal with SD except on a limited basis. She comes over a couple of times a week, stays for a few hours and then leaves. She occasionally talks to me while she is there and I don't really go out of my way to talk to her, but everyone seems to be ok with that arrangement. A friend of ours pointed out that, while she truly is not a pleasant person to be around, he believes that she simply is unaware that she treats people badly. For example, she came over for her dad's birthday, sat beside me on the couch, but kept her back to me for almost an hour. She finally spoke to me when her dad went upstairs and didn't seem to be angry or hostile. I think our friend is right when he says she simply wasn't raised to think about other people, but I am not willing to just give her that as an excuse. She is very upset when people treat her badly, so at some point, wouldn't you thnk she would see a connection?
If you are wondering about the babysitting issue, SD did something that went against her lawyer's advice. She let the baby's dad have him for 8 weeks. She was told BY HER LAWYER that her child is too young for long visits like that and that it would cause her a lot of trouble in the long run. She asked her dad about it and he told her the same thing, so of course, she let her son's dad have him until the end of July. Personally, I think she saw this as a mini vacation and that she is hoping he will be potty trained when he gets home. Don't get me wrong; she loves him, but she is still not thinking like a mom. Hell, even her aunts (who are all divorced both on BM and her dad's side) talk about how nice it is to "get a break" from their kids when they visit their dads. I have always found that odd - being a parent is a full-time job. You know it when you go into it. Why would you be glad to get rid of your child? Please don't bash me for that statement!! I know that taking care of a baby is a lot of work (even though I don't have any of my own); I simply wonder what she and her aunts would do if the fathers had stayed around?
I hope that my life continues to go this smoothly. I have 10 more days of teaching summer school, then I get my vacation. I plan to lose 15 pounds, make some jewelry, learn how to scrapbook and enjoy my DH. 
- marika's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
My stepsister is EXACTLY the
My stepsister is EXACTLY the same way, Marika. Our parents - my mom and her dad - don't understand why we aren't "close" like I am with my stepbrother. The main reason I never warmed up to her is because she's just not nice to me. She's not mean or hateful or anything like that, but she acts like I'm invisible. You would think we would have a lot in common, being that both our husbands are military and we both have children, but nope. There's nothing there. She's very materialistic, I'm not. She's very into projecting an image, I could care less. She's very busy being a social butterfly where I tend to socialize more with my husband and children. I wouldn't nominate her for Mother of the Year, either. She's a nurse who should know about nutrition, but wouldn't breastfeed her babies because it was inconvenient and tied her down too much. (Even though her firstborn had serious problems with formula and her ped told her breast milk only would be the best thing for the baby.) She's not a bad mother, just not a good one. She thinks about herself first. Not that her kids aren't cared for, it's just that they are mostly cared for by other people... grandparents, babysitters, the nanny. We'll never connect. We're too different and she's too standoffish. It's just the way she is.
But I do have to say, as mother of two and stepmother of three, sometimes it really is nice to get away from the kids! I couldn't do it for that amount of time, though. My son went to visit his grandma in another state for about five days last summer and it just about killed me! I missed him so much! A few hours off-duty, you betcha. A couple of days, sure. Eight weeks? No way in hell. I think my heart would break before I got to the end of week one. But I could totally see my stepsister doing it! I think you're right... it's just the way she is.
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Anne, you hit the nail on the head
It IS like I am invisible. I have to admit, I realized the other day that I now feel that way about her. I don't care if she is in the room. If she speaks to me, I speak to her, but I have stopped trying to be a part of any conversation that goes on with her. Any comment I make is ignored for the most part. She will even lower her voice to tell her dad things when I am in the room. I guess that I have been right all along - she and I will never be friends. The best I can hope for is that I can continue to tolerate her visits. If not, well, I can always get a lot of work done upstairs or downstairs in the craft room.
One more thing - you get a big hug from me for dealing with five kids at a time!!