I don't understand Texas and Children
I just don't understand..my BF exwife has no drivers license and is on siezure medication..she doesn't work and draws disability..she lives with her BF and he is gone all day at work that is at least an hours drive away from home and she can't drive at all..she is at home with my SS who is 4 and what if she goes into a siezure or something..they live in the back of an RV/Mobile Home park and what will happen if something goes wrong and he doesn't know how to get help..I just don't get it and no one can answer it..I do know that the custody part was taken care of before the divorce since she got my BF to go to the Attorney Generals and do the paperwork..so they have joint custody but she has primary with SS living with her and we get him EOW..but when they got the custody papers and child support papers done the EX never told them she had no license and couldn't drive a vehicle so they have no idea..we got the divorce final but were told we couldn't touch the custody part for the first 3 years by law..something about protecting the dads and child support..of course it's all crap..child protective services won't do anything..i have pictures of SS with a cig burn on his eye (accident or not) and another one with a hand print on his arm where someone held his arm and left marks..also another one with a 2 inch long bruise on his butt cheek..yet no one in the system will do anything..we stopped smoking because of SS allergies yet the EX and her BF continue to smoke in the car with SS and windows rolled up..the EX also has a medical history where she was told she would always be on siezure medication and i want to know if that can be brought up in court when the time comes..does anyone know what steps we should be taking on all of this..we document and take pictures of these things but no one seems to care about the child..so short of pulling my hair out i don't know what to do anymore..any and all help would be appreciated..or at least where i can look on the web for information because so far i haven't been able to find any help..thanks!!!
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yes she still has
yes she still has siezures..and when we got the divorce we were told that it would all be heresay because no one wants to use her medical history in this..and the burn on the eye..not sure..but we do know that after it happened she then put the cigarette out on her thigh and that to me makes no sense..i can understand why she doesn't have custody of her other two children now..we've finally told them that there will be very little contact between us and them..we will call SS on the phone during the week to talk to him and she will call us when he has a doctors appointment..other then that there will be no contact..mainly because so far we haven't been able to get an honest answer out of her..she has damn near split us up a couple of times and i just wonder if that's what she wants..because before i came along the use to walk all over my BF and now there is someone in the picture who is not afraid to open my mouth and call her on every lie she tells..and let me tell you she does get pissed about that..the main thing is SS in all of this..i guess the only thing we can do now is hope nothing else happens and if he does show up again with questionable marks on him then we have decided to go to the police and make a report on it so they can take the pictures..other then that we have no idea what to do because we definetely don't have $300 thousand to fight in court and she will put up a battle over this because she can't have anymore kids now..and i spend a lot of time reading anything i can get my hands on to learn how to cope with all of this..what a crazy ride this thing we call life!!
p.s. thanks for this board..i've done much reading on here and i feel for a lot of you who are going thru worse then we are..hang in there everyone..
Just food for thought...
I have found from a new friend that you can subpoenaed medical records, doctors, clinics, police reports, work records and you can get copies of anything that is public record. She is currently going through her own dealings with a crazy BM, and she herself is studying to be a lawyer! LOL She laughs and says that she plans on thanking BM in her commencement speech for being her inspiration...it is because of her that she wants to fight for equal and shared parenting because it does NOT exist! LOL.
This is according to her:
"Clinics and Doctors can also be subpoenaed! They can't tell you stuff over the phone or in person etc...but they CAN testify in court...get her medical records subpoenaed!We've had bm's work records subpoenaed several times!"
So, I'm thinking the same as you about going to the police about the abuse of SS. If markings appear, it's very important that you have it reported and documented, plus be sure to keep tedious records of any ramblings that SS may say or do, that may be off. It's normal to have some bumps and bruises at this age, but a cig burn?!?!?! I would also take pictures periodically of you and the family with him being happy.
In the beginning, my SS was coming to our house with all these cuts and scratches from his brothers and sisters, and bruises etc. So, we started to take pictures and documenting because he would say that brother did this, or sister did that, but his mother won't do anything about it. And she tried to turn the tables on us, as if I was abusive!
At one point, BM calls us up, was asking questions about me to DH, who was raising his eyebrow about it, it was very very odd her behavior. She acted as if I undressed SS, scrubbed, washed or watched him take a bath (he was 6 at this time)... no, DH does this. She even ranted and raved that she didn't want me even NEAR SS, or that she didn't want me undressing him, something like that to DH, claimed that it made SS uncomfortable, which he wasn't, this and that. It was out of the blue, crazy, and weird. All I did was run the bath, put the bubbles in, towel on the towel rack, BEFORE SS was even in the bathroom, etc etc. We couldn't figure out where this was coming from. DH is the one that actually helped him with everything, but she was so hell bent in pressing that I was doing something horribly wrong with SS. :jawdrop:
Well, it even got to a point that she was pressing and pressing questions at SS constantly, when he went back to her. And he of course, didn't know what do think about this. What are you talking about, he was so confused, because no, I wasn't there. Was I suppose to me watching him? I mean, she was so paranoid that at one point, BM sends a pair of some woman's (gross) old raggedy underwear in a paper lunch sack with a note attached to is saying that she found these inside of SS's tangled pants. When we saw this in SS's backpack, we were FLOORED. We literally thought she went over the deep end. When DH called her about it, because they certainly weren't mine, she flat out claimed that they MUST be mine, they WEREN'T HERS, SHE doesn't wear those, etc etc, and totally insinuated without rightly saying that I MUST be doing something to SS. But the fact was that they WEREN'T mine, WEREN'T even my size, (um, you could stretch them out as far as my husband... I'm a size 5.) and had they been mine, they would have been looooonnnnnngggggg gone by the shape they were in. They weren't even any comparison to what I REALLY wore. I just instantly threw them away with a pencil... it was gross. :sick:
The thing is that she did her laundry at a laundry mat. HELLO! Um, say gross, some strangers undies got caught in the wash or dryer and you put your load in there. They got tangled up in SS's pants, HELLO- can we say PARANOID? And SS kept telling her, no, daddy washes me, which we figured out was just as bad, so we just ended up having to leave SS in the tub on his own, and "check" in on him by knocking and speaking through the door because of her.
Suffice to say, you can't be too careful. That was an awful time for me. :O