Vent starts here as thinly veiled rant letter to SO:

You know how when we talk about the problems I have with your daughter and you say I just don’t like her and I say I like her but I don’t like some of her behaviors or the way you parent her (or actually don’t parent her)? Well, eventually it came true. I don’t like her. Not even a little bit. I can’t find one endearing thing about her. While it’s nice you taught her to say “thank you”, she does not have one single other good manner. She is rude and disrespectful. Half of her manipulations you are not aware of and feed right into them. Instead of setting her straight on those manipulations that you do see, you avoid answering her or divert her attention so that you don’t have to actually address the issue. You have created a selfish, demanding monster. You say you can’t undo what her mother does in the 2 days per week you see her. Guess what, you can and do have an influence on your child. Try using it. You might be surprised. Any micron of conscience or civility you impart on this child would have to be an improvement. Also, I strongly suspect, and I think you would have to agree, it’s not like her mother is doing a whole lot of active parenting that you would have to “undo”, so the little bit of parenting you could do would be the majority of the parenting she actually receives.

I guess you think I sound like a broken record sometimes telling you about the things your daughter does. It’s not like I harp on this constantly, but sometimes I feel this need to point them out to you as proof, because you act like this is all in my imagination. Or that I should just “man up” and ignore the problems. What, like you do? Sorry, I can’t. Not when she is doing things directly to me and my son. I actually can see where you might find it implausible that a small child would be that devious, but I swear she is. Given her mother’s DNA, this should not be such a surprise to you.

And as long as I’m on a roll here, I might as well add that she is mean, even to animals, and negative. For a 7-year-old, she sure vocally hates a lot of people and things. She is also dirty and has disgusting eating habits. I’m not even sure you like her that much. You certainly manage to bury yourself in projects while she is here, deluding yourself that she is being your little helper, but mostly she wanders around and whines or hangs around with my son. I would just avoid her, but I can’t and won’t just leave my home on the weekends like I used to.

Thank you for admitting that I am nice to her and treat her well, but for God’s sake quit saying I’m being too sensitive or to just get over it. This is not something that can just be swept under the rug for the next 11+ years. Quit with the weak defenses (it’s her mother’s fault, I’m too sensitive, she doesn’t know me well enough even though I’ve known her for 5 years, she doesn’t know any better, etc) and just own up to the fact that she is what she is. Occasionally you’ll let slip that you know it, but please just acknowledge this so that we can do something about it. Or at least acknowledge this so that we can stop being at odds with each other.

Vent over.

But that did channel the thoughts swirling through my brain into those last few sentences to where I think I know what I need. If you bothered to read this, do you guys feel that an acknowledgement on the part of the bio-dad is helpful or just wicked SM trying to get her way?