GSD mirrors SD26 , true story of terror !!!!!!
I usually don’t write about Gskid issues, GSS is only 2 so beyond really wishing he was potty trained, the occaissional waking at night and the typical 2 y/o issues he doesn’t offer much other than amusement.
GSD on the other hand does give us issues, and lately they seem to be getting worse. She’s 8, and that’s a tough age for a lot of kids but when you have been through what this kid has been through it’s even worse.
The latest thing is all out anger at being told no or being told to do something, and it comes out of nowhere. This past Saturday afternoon it had begun raining and DW called GSD to come inside from the yard, complete meltdown, “I hate You !” “You’re so Mean !” “ I don’t want to live here anymore!” “Give me the phone!, I’m calling Miss DSS Agent to come and get me !” “ I’m packing a bag and never coming back!” “I might as well kill myself !”
Now mind you all that was said to her “GSD you need to come inside , it’s starting to rain.”
She got both barrels from both of us, then we made her sit in her room, she continued the tirade from in there, finally DW had her come out to the living room and told her she had to calm down because when DSS got there they wouldn’t want to hear her ranting. ( This was DW’s idea, I just went with it ) She went ballistic, saying that she would hurt anyone who tried to take her out of the house, we told her that she couldn’t do that or they would have the police come and take her to Juvenille Detention, but that we did what she wanted and now she could go live with strangers who would not love her and would only do what they had to for her, she couldn’t take her things with her , only some clothes.
She was beside herself apologizing for what she did and promising that it will never happen again, like she did the last time, and DW pointed this out to her, that promises mean nothing when you keep breaking them.
She’s of course grounded for two weeks which we will see how long that actually lasts but the thing that struck me was that her entire tirade, including everything she said was like she was possessed by her mother, and that bothers me the most, I don’t want to wind up disengaging from this little girl but when she sounds and acts exactly like her mother I want to have nothing to do with her.
I just hope and pray we can exorcise her mother from her brain before it gets past a point of no return.
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Comments
It took me a couple minutes
It took me a couple minutes to figure out how your German Shepherd Dog was acting like your stepdaughter.
Apples don't fall far from the tree, as the expression goes!
LOL Guess I should have
LOL Guess I should have spelled it out this time .
A positive thought to take
A positive thought to take away from this is that GSD does view you are a parental figure and therefore you can have input into her life.
And a story to share with you so you realize girls around this age are crazy:
BD12 came running into my room about a week ago hysterical and sobbing. Her friend had sent her a text of some stupid dog called smiley dog. It's some dumb urban legend, but my kid was full on freaking out hysterical. Even after I went on line and showed her it was all fake she would not calm the eff down. I finally had to take her phone away turn it off, and tell her to knock it off as there was nothing to be that worked up about. She finallly calmed down and the next day she was able to be rational and understand it was all a prank by her friends.
Yes she is crazy, no doubt
Yes she is crazy, no doubt about that lol She is also very sweet, smart and creative. I remember both SDs being on and off like this but it being almost verbatim to her mother is the scary part, I have to keep myself in check and remember that she is not her mother and work from there but that isn't always easy.
I'll have to look up smiley dog, I'm sure that will surface at somepoint if it's on the web.
DH once videotaped a tantrum
DH once videotaped a tantrum SD had at age 10 that would have put a 3 yo to shame, and played it back for her. We suggested posting it on facebook. We showed it to MIL and Therapist. SD never had a screaming hissy fit again, but she still has her "seething rage" silent fits, which are creepy and ugly to witness. Which is why I can no longer stand to look at her.
SD26 will still have the
SD26 will still have the exact same tantrums as she did when she was 10, she hasn't really matured, she make fake it for a while but as soon as the world pushes back, out comes her true self that self centered, self entitled 10 y/o.
Man o man, kidos to DW for
Man o man, kidos to DW for her game that set her straight for a short minute. Just keep "giving her what she wants" and she will shape up.
I was actually suprised that
I was actually suprised that DW did that, but hopefully she doesn't just think that she can pull the same tantrum again, thinking now that we won't make a phone call, now we have to up the ante, already have discussed the possibilities.
When she has these fits, once
When she has these fits, once we calm her down, we tell her that everything she said and every way she acted was just like "Mommy" and ask her if she wants to wind up like "Mommy" ? She really doesn't like it when we say those things, so our hope is that she will grow out of it and also not want to be like "Mommy", she already knows just about everything about her Mom and isn't happy with her but the kid still loves her and still wishes her Mom was like other Moms and did the right things.
The only thing we haven't said to her so far, and DW would never say this, is "Mommy loves herself and her freedom to do what she wants, no matter who it hurts, more than she loves you." That's harsh but the very basic and sharp truth of the matter, hopefully she sees that for herself one day.
Genetics win out?
Im always afraid of this because Feral Eldest SD19, who has been away for over a year now, she sounded and acted JUST like her mother, ToxicTroll, even though she looked mostly like her father.
Munchkin SD12 looks JUST like her mother (I try to block that part out) but has her fathers personality. I have the fear that she will start being like her mother and sister, because of the genetics angle. Shes had me around for about 4.5 years, I sometimes hear her "aping" things I say and we enjoy much of the same things (dark chocolate, bones and rocks, the color blue instead of girly pink, tomboy clothes...)
But I cannot forget for a second who her bio mother is, no matter what. She is starting to sound like her sister, getting upset when we ask her to please get her laundry, clean her room, help with dishes. So its only a matter of time.
You have a good chance of undoing the damage, but arent the personalities already pretty set by 7-8?
I won't say that "personality
I won't say that "personality" is really the problem, it's more choices that she makes, she can choose not to talk back, she can choose not to lash out, this is all emotion management and it's a choice we all make everyday ( ok most of us do ).
We are slowly teaching her how to manage her emotions and how to deal with them as well, the fact that she is 8 is on our side, we still have time to correct the behavior and show her the right way, we hope.