Why do I feel bad about this?
OH just texted me and asked if SD12 could borrow my bunny costume to wear to a party.
I said no.
I made that bunny suit (it's white with pink trim) from scratch, no pattern etc, a few years ago for a Halloween party, and well, God-dammit it's mine.
I don't want SD wearing it to a party and spilling food all down it (I MAY have mentioned in the past what a slob she is) - she will undoubtedly ruin it.
So why do I feel the need to defend myself for just saying NO. Why do I feel the need to offer an apology and an explanation?
Is a simple NO adequate? I feel that if I explain that I don't trust her not to wreck it he will just in to defend his precious princess, even though we both KNOW she will trash my bunny suit.
GAH - so stupid
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Maybe...BM can by her a suit
Maybe...BM can by her a suit or make her one. I would be the same way...feel like I am being ugly by say no. You are not being ugly and your not her mother. We all know...when we do do mothering thinks...get no credit for it.
I understand your feelings.
I understand your feelings. SD(6) is suffering currently from nightmares. This weekend was the start of the drama of can't sleep "I'm scared" etc etc.
I have a little bear that my son won for me (its a pooh bear with a Merlin's cape and hat). I explained to her that this bear is "magical" it is specifically designed to keep nightmares away....
This worked a charm; but of course now she didn't want to be parted from it. My problem is everything that goes "home" gets lost/broken etc etc in the big black hole.
Anything we ever send is never returned or when it is returned it is in the most horrific state. So I promptly jumped on the internet to find a "magic" bear for her, which I managed to find; BUT it wont be here for another week...
How do I say no to a 6 year old that she can't take the nightmare bear with her? So yep she has it but as stupid as this sounds I am worried about the state of the bear when it gets returned... I know its just a teddy bear of course but the darn thing was a gift from my son at age 9 who had spent his entire pocket money trying to win it for me and he was sooo proud of it when he brought it home!
So yep why can't we just say "NO" and be done with it? I feel for you, I hope you can stick to your "No", I couldn't stick to mine...
You just say no. Or tell her
You just say no. Or tell her that your home is the bear's home and that is where his magic works so that is where he has to stay.
Well, i felt bad, so i came
Well, i felt bad, so i came up with a compromise - I offered to make her one of her own. Trouble is the party is this weekend so there's no time for that.
OH was fine about it, he understood, so that's ok.
I hope you get your bear back in one piece! As she values it as magical and special I am sure she will take care of it for you. My sd on the other hand is 12, doesn't like me (can anyone say BM PAS?) and is a piggy eater, always slopping food around and making a mess - so I know my fluffy white costume would come back covered in food stains.
Not happening.
i don't think you have to
i don't think you have to defend your reasoning. just simply, because it's mine and i don't feel that i should have to share everything
My sd11 constantly wanted to
My sd11 constantly wanted to borrow my iPad but then it started to flicker and I got worried it was going to tear up. So I told her it wasn't doing well and I needed it for work so she couldn't use it. She still asks to use it all the time. It's annoying and yes, it makes me feel like the wicked stepmother. But if it had been my kids I wouldn't have let them use it either.
Don't feel bad. It's yours,
Don't feel bad. It's yours, you have every right to say no. I'm sure you can find one at a costume rental or something. It sucks when you feel like the bad guy and you really haven't done anything wrong.
I HATE being in the position
I HATE being in the position where I have to so no. Like, how are you stupid enough to even ASK me if YOUR KIDS can have something that belongs to me??? :jawdrop:
It's the "wicked" step mum
It's the "wicked" step mum thing I suppose. I gave in and the bear went with. But I have reiterated to MOTY that I want it back and I want it looked after. Still fixating on whether it'll be on one piece when I get it back though. I know own fault and all that. I only have myself to blame I suppose. It's not the kid at all becaue I am really fond of her. It is the age and the complete lack of care I know happens because they have everything and don't understand looking after things...
It'll be my own fault if it gets ruined, and I know if it does DH will drive himself to destruction trying to find a replacement. hard to tell him its not the object but the sentiment that's irreplaceble