loveandfitness's Blog
Been a while....
I’m back! I got a new job and it’s been like working 3. Anyway.... gonna play catch up real quick before I really get into it.... SS is now 13. Unbeknownst to us until we got him this summer, he failed 7th grade and has been in and out of juvenile detention centers with pending cases (multiple), and still wets the bed.
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So be it.
So maybe I'm the evil step mother. So be it.
I'm sorry, there's just no way that I will ever feel the same way for SS that I do for our own children. I've never liked him. He's awful. He wears my patience thin and sends my anxiety to sky high levels. I don't appreciate thieves, liars, bullies or people who stare at me. He happens to fit the bill for all those things most days.
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Physical Violence and Lies
So in my last entry SS12 pushed S5 into a glass table. He's okay, the knot on his head is finally going down.
BUT... stuff has been happening since.
SS continues to wet the bed. I let him use the washing machine himself to get it done and make sure he cleans it out after if he needs to.
He told DH his mom gives him a bucket and soap and makes him go outside to wash his wet cloths and bed clothes every morning. I don't believe him.
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SS pushed DS
Okay, so another update following Summer Blues.
Today SS12 was in the living room with DS5 while DH and I were outside (backyard is right outside the living room and the french doors were open) visiting with family. All of the sudden we hear THUD! and DS crying. I rush in and DS is on the floor screaming and holding his head.
He had a HUGE knot in the back of his head.
Frantically getting ice etc Dh asked SS what happen. "Oh he fell and hit his head on the glass table.
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Summer Blues Cont.
So SS12 is finally here for the summer.
This is how it's been so far:
1. DH swore he would file in court once he had him, but has yet to do so. He's the worst procrastinator in the universe. Either that or he doesn't want to deal with it, which is probably also the case.
2. SS woke up to a wet bed after swearing he didn't do it anymore and refusing good nights. He at least does his own laundry now. Thank goodness I had the foresight to put a vinyl cover on the mattress.
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Summer Blues Update
So DH spoke with an attorney who confirmed what we suspected about SS not being able to choose to not come for summer visitation.
DH sent BM an email stating such, among a few other things that haven't been addressed, (like we don't know where he's living, he's not allowed to give DH the address or keep his phone number, and we don't have necessary documentation thats been asked for since May) and said SS can call this evening to discuss options, otherwise he is coming with a police escort to pick him up for dates stated in the CO.
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Summer Blues
I haven't been on since SS12 last visit. Spring Break went surprisingly well. SS visit was pretty pleasant aside from typical preen teen moodiness.
SS was bummed that we didn't have anything special planned like waterparks, etc, but we went to the museums and went for ice cream and things like that. All in all it was one of the best visits we've had, and so I thought things were looking up.
But then...
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Foiled Break Once Again
Once again my break has been completely taken up by SS11. Theres was no actual rest or time with just my family. SS was supposed to leave the day after Christmas. Instead he ask BM if he could stay longer, she said "of course! I'm sure your dad would love to have you". So SS announced he'd be staying through his entire break and DH says "Awesome buddy!".....
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Getting to the point, I swear. Opinions are welcomed!
Dh hasn't visited SS12 since school started. I could list a ton of "good" reasons (which would be the gospel truth) but I know I'd get a lot of "it's his responsibility" comments, so I'll just leave it at that.
He has however been trying to get ahold of him since he left. The only response he's received is that SS needs school clothes that were asked for before school began. I tried for weeks to get a response about size, with no luck, so bought what i thought was right with a receipt for return just in case, but couldn't send it as we have no address. I still have them.
How do I address this?
I've already had a discussion with DH about how I do not want SS11 in our bedroom.
He's a hormonal, curious 11 yo. Not only do I usually have some clothes and underwear around sometimes along with other personal items... but it's MY space.
He's like a stranger every time he comes. Keeps to himself, and RARELY speaks to me unless told to by DH. I barely know him, AND I DON'T TRUST HIM. He steals and lies as often as he breathes.
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