Today was an exciting day. After four weeks of waiting we went to pick up our new 8wk old puppies! I was preparing for their arrival these past few weeks and up late last night setting up the initial puppy area they will be in while crate training. This morning I was up early even though I am not an early person.

The fall leaves were vibrant on the two hour drive and early in the ride we saw a rainbow. DH and I were both excited about the new addition to our family. We have two older cats and we lost my dog back in January. She was 15 and it was time when she went blind and was having seizures. It was very upsetting losing her.

Anyhow we pick up the pups, two males from the same litter. They are bigger than expected. We saw them at 4 weeks....what a difference another four weeks makes!
Everything is going perfectly. I am swimming in a happy puppy place in my head as we are driving them home. We are talking about taking them places to socialize them and I mention I may take them to a friends next week.
And here is the skid related part...darned if DH doesn't open his mouth and say the YSD want him to bring the pups to her place tonight so her 4yr old can see them. Bubble is burst....happy puppy internal dance is replaced by PTSD disbelief and anger. Why does everything good have to be tainted by skids or even mention of skids?

Of course it turns into an argument, I ask was he planned to take our new pups to see YSD who has never even tried to reconcile with me from two years ago? The one who refuses to apologize. He of course has to defend and say the SGKID likes puppies so wanted to see them. They are going away thus the YSD said tonight.
I tell him well I like babies but I have not even met the 10 month old Baby of YSD. Or the over 14month old baby of OSD. I ask when was he planning to tell me these plans that involve our pups? Was he going to go behind my back? Is he going to go next week when I will be away for a day?
He then tries to gaslight me, the whole conversation was ridiculous. I told him it was like it my ex's kids wanted to see the pups. What would he think?

Anyway it is too long to detail out. The gist is that I do not want the new furry members of my family used as entertainment at the beck and call of Any of the three SD's. They have done nothing to try to have a relationship with me and darn little to even have one with DH for the whole of our 7 yr marriage and since the past two years when the MSD train wrecked it all to heck.
Getting some new pups is not a reason to sweep all under the rug.

So the ride home was soured. I was accused of going on and on when I was just trying to find out if he intended to jump when she said jump. What was I supposed to think from such a statement with no other details? I tried to tell him how it made me feel and he was mainly dismissive.

In the end of it I let the puppy endorphins kick in and I told him that I would be the bigger person here. (In the gas lighting he accused me of not being willing to even accept an apology if they offered one). I told him if YSD wanted to meet both of us at a park sometime (not today) so that the Gkids could see the puppies that I would agree to that. I would even hang back and let them visit. ( I have no desire to talk to the witch). I doubt she would do it anyway. She lives nearby and DH sees his two GS by her only a couple times a year. The gifting times of course.
DH went so far as to say in our arguement that it was my fault he does not see his GKids or DD's more since I know he does not like to travel much or be away from home alone without me. I said to him it is not my fault. I do not need to go to be a buffer for him. Or to be around people who have stated they do not like me, etc. the OSD who thinks she has done nothing to deserve being banned from my home said this.

So he is sleeping now and I am venting. He could have just not told me what YSD said, especially if he had no intentions to visit her, or so he said. I swear he can be so dense and I am tired of just sucking it up.

We only ever argue about the skids. If he could never mention them to me if would be great. They certainly don't need to be around our pups. The pups I need to grow up to likely protect me from the witches one day.

Thanks for listening.

Disengaged from three SD's for over two years now. Time does not fly when PTSD from skid drama.