You are here

Will I make it through this again??!!

losingmymind's picture

It has been a while since I have been on here. I am back to working full time and with DH in school it makes it hard to juggle all. BM had been somewhat quiet for a while now so I didn't really have much to vent about anyway. Well, that all changed today.
I just found out that BM has filed with an attorney this time to modify child support and parenting time. We just did a modification of child support back this time last year. Funny...I think that she thinks that DH has money. He might have a little bit now but trust that it is earned by my employment! Smile So I pulled out the calculation sheet and if she really wants to push this it will actually make DH's child support go down even more because since we moved 600 miles away and now have all the travel costs to us that gets to be considered in the support calculation. What really gets my goat is the modification of parenting time. To what?? WTF!!! As it stands right now BM and DH mutually agreed prior to our leaving that state that DH would only get SD during the summer with it broken in half by one week return to BM and then back for the second half of the summer. DH is also to get SD for one week during Christmas break to alternate each year on who gets Christmas day. DH even gave BM Christmas day this first year. That is it people...not that much time. It also states that phone communication needs to be promoted to continue healty relationships when SD is in each one's care. Well, while SD was with us this summer she spoke to her BM almost everyday and if not abided by the clause in the agreement that says that the calls will at least be returned within 24 hours. Surprise Surprise...BM does not practice this with DH. Constantly DH is having to send an email just to get to talk to SD and even when he finally gets her on the phone her mom is telling her to get off.
We have so many emails with BM stating that she will not "force" SD to return any calls and that she will not send any information regarding SD to DH and that if he wants to know anything he can call around himself.
So with just this little bit of information how do you think that this woman will win to take even more time away from DH especially when we can prove that BM is not wanting to co parent?
I am just so upset. Here it is holiday time and we have to come up with lots of money to hire an attorney since we do not live in the same state. I just don't know if I can take another round.
Funny...DH and I had talked about filing for change in custody so that we could have her full time when SD was failing out of the 2nd grade last year. (she is in it again btw) DH was ordered to pay half of a tutor that BM said that SD needed and the judge granted it and BM never ever got a tutor! But what stopped this change was that I am a mom too. I feel that no matter how those things that BM does is wrong to us..the fact is that it is SD's mom and taking her away would hurt SD more so why can't BM be the same way?

Comments

melis070179's picture

Wait a minute...I thought you couldn't go back to court to modify child support unless there has been a significant change in circumstances since the last time? Whats the big change that is allowing her to do this? I'd do a consultation with a lawyer & ask about that. That is the law in most staes, to keep one parent from constantly dragging the other to court.

Sia's picture

any time you want to. All you need is a lawyer.

I am thinking that she is just trying to be difficult and lash out at y'all b/c you dont live close anymore! I'd keep all those emails, b/c they will come in handy! Be sure to document, document, document!

Chel Bell's picture

BM tried to do this to us last year, only 6 months after it was mod. in the first place.....we were all told, that it cannot be mod. again for 4 years! There was no major changes anyways, but the court said they will not change it again, and the kids will be of age in a few short years, and that's the only way it will get touched again. We had a good laugh , as BM thought she could just screw around with it anytime she wanted. I think it matters what state your in too, as everyone seems to get different results......or maybe they were just sick of BM. LOL"~waiting on the world to change~"

B's picture

My DH's decree says that CS will be addressed every 2 years unless there has been a drastic change in circumstances. He and ExW have to exchange tax returns by May 30th and if either one wants a change made they have to request it by August 15th. If whoever wants the change misses the deadline then, too bad. You need to look over his DD and see if there is any similar verbage in it.

melis070179's picture

Ever state has different time frames, but no state allows you to try and modify anytime you please. No court has time for that. Like in Indiana its once a year IF there has been a drastic change in circumstance that would result in at least a 20% increase/decrease. In NC, its the same except its every 2 years, but also has to result in at least a 20% change. Same with Maryland. Not sure where you live but definitely find out what the laws are for your state because every state does have guidelines regarding rules for modifications.

Just because you CAN give birth, doesn't mean you SHOULD