For a little background, I've been dating my significant other for ten years. He has two children, a 16 year old and a 12 year old.  They moved in with me in June of 2018.  Their mother is, essentially, a non-entity.  She's mentallly and physically disabled in a home. They visit her once a month or so.   They were raised by a nanny who spoiled the shit out of them, waited on them hand and foot.