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I feel so alone

lisa510's picture

Submitted by lisa510 on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 3:54pm

without my DH. I hate when has to go away for business. I know I should be able to cope without him, but in this house without him, I feel like an outsider.

I posted earlier that I don't want the skids in my bedroom. I feel violated when they walk into my bedroom because it's the only space I have to myself - or I think it should be.

So my DH called and could tell by my voice that I was upset about something, and as much as I don't want to tell him, I feel compelled to confess my frustration to him. I told him his son shaved in our bathroom and left whiskers on the sink. I told him I don't want the skids in my room. He didn't say anything, which is fine. I need to learn how to communicate these trivial things to the skids so they know their boundaries.

I just don't know how to do it.

Comments

iwishyouwould's picture

Submitted by iwishyouwould on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 3:58pm

Tell those kiddos to get out. Or start using their rooms for stuff and see if they get the memo. They only do it cause they can.

StepMomJane's picture

Submitted by StepMomJane on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 5:01pm

Lock your door. I used to have roommates that would come in my room and use my things constantly. I went to Home Depot, bought a lock and key doorknob (about $15), and a screwdriver. Installed them and locked the door each time I left. No one ever went in there again!
I know the feeling on the bathroom thing. Our master bath is so small I use the hall bath. When the SDs are over all of my things are completely messed up. And they don't flush. Oy. Blum 3

midgette71's picture

Submitted by midgette71 on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 5:30pm

It's really quite simple but very hard/intimidating as simple things usually are. I had the same problem w/ my sk's but have made it an expectation rather than a rule perse that they are to always knock on my bedroom door open or closed and NOT enter unless given permission to enter and if they want to use my bathroom or go into the bedroom for something w/ nobody in there they MUST ask permission first. I tell them that thats our private place and for the most part I will give them respect and privacy to knock on their bedroom doors as I expect the same. Not to mention it definately has stopped the probability of them walking in on anything; thank god!

hornet64's picture

Submitted by hornet64 on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 3:33am

OMG! I know exactly how you feel. I don't know if "outsider" is the right word for me, but I definitely don't feel completely comfortable in this home either. It was the house that my DH bought with his ex and she moved out. He's still here, but her name is still on the deed. He actually trusted her attorney to take care of this... Ha!

Nothing in here is really mine... very little is my taste. All my stuff is basically stuffed into one room in this house.

After my DH and his ex split, she basically took all the furniture... so when his kids would come over, they would all sleep together in his bed in what is now, our bedroom. So, I think they see my bedroomw with my husband as their territory too, so to speak. The little ones are really bad... coming into the room and getting into my bed if my DH and I are trying to take showers and get dressed, etc. He changes in front of them so I guess they don't feel like it's a big deal...

But I totally understand what you mean when you say that you feel violated. I can't even go to my own bedroom to use the bathroom in peace because there's always a skid following me. I don't mind that they like talking to me, but good grief! Let me pee in peace!!!!