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Supervising skids during the summer or long breaks from school....whadda ya do???

lil_teapot's picture

I'm trying to be proactive and get some good advice from y'all before things get outta hand here.
FH works 3rd shift so he sleeps during the day. BM is a bm who couldn't be bothered so she pawns the skids off on us during the days "cuz she works." (Gag me!!) So, skids run amok while fh is trying to sleep whenever they're off school.
Last week, they had their split break from school...1 week now, 1 week at Easter. FH got no sleep all week and the house was wrecked. Oh but bm did pitch in and take them to mighty taco one day and then dropped them back off.(again, make me yak!)
So I'm trying to get y'alls input on what we can conceivably do with the skids during the daytime like at recesses and during the summer.
They're 12 and 13, but they're boys...they're completely immature and irresponsible and can't be left unattended.
They do get put in daycamp for part of the summer, which entails tons more driving for everybody...so in some senses, it's just easier to leave them at home. But fh sucks at making them mind and be quiet while he's sleeping...and if he has to get up and yell at them, his sleep is shot.
So I'm looking for any suggestions we can do to make sure they're supervised and not creating chaos while I'm at work and fh is sleeping. I know I'm at a complete loss. I hope you all can help.

Comments

ferretmom's picture

I don't know if you have these in your area but my boys loved 4H camp and boy scout camp. It wasn't expensive and each can last from one week to three weeks at a time. The kids are closely supervised and they do great activities. It would give both of you a break and the kids have fun.

The Principlist's picture

I think I'm your girl. Now when you say 3rd shift are you referring to the 3-11 or the 11-7? The reason I ask is that DH works the 11-7, but it is considered 1st shift here. We have had the very situation with breaks. My skids live with us and BM is totally useless. She only wants them for a couple of hours at a time. Here is how we have handled it. We look through the community guide of our local newspaper and find different activities that are going on for free or a small fee. We then plan out a calendar of events. Like on Tuesday of this week we will be going to X. You'd be amazed at the amount of free or next to free activities you can find to entertain the kids. So, we would go as a family and hang out. If it were an early morning activity we would get the kids up, have breakfast and head out. We would try to be back home before 1 and the kids would be instructed that there were no friends allowed over and that DH needed to rest as he had to work later. If it were an afternoon thing, DH would come in, take a nap, kids would do their chores, DH would wake up and we would head out. We would still come in at a decent time so that kids could have time outdoors with friends and DH could get another nap before heading to work.

The kids knew the house rules of no company ecause DH was resting. They also knew that they were more than welcome to go outside and play with their friends as long as they were not in and out every 5 minutes slamming doors and the like. It they got out of hand then their friends were sent home and they were kept in for the remainder of the day. I can tell you that this only happened a couple of times as they never wanted to stuck indoors. It's one thing to choose it and another to be ordered. Wink

THere is a local bowling alley, older establishment from when I was a kid, that does free bowling for kids from 3-5 on M-F. All we had to do was pay for shoe rental and a lane if DH and I chose to bowl. Also, if you brought your own shoes, there is no cost. There is a movie theater, newer Regal Cinemas, that offers free kid tickets in the morning. Yea that meant going to the movies early, but there went 2 hours. Wink The kids regularly get rewards from the school for their report cards in their Honor ROll packets. I can't tell you how many countless free kids meals we cashed in. THey also get coupons for a free cone from the local Dairy Queen. And just last summer they opened a community pool not 5 minutes from my house. Because the pool is in a different city we pay the non-resident rate of $3. You can't beat it. Utilize your community and what it has to offer. Take advantage. Especially in this economy. More than anything. You don't need to occupy their every waking minute, a couple of hours here and there. Does not have to be every day. Give them something to look forward to and make their behavior determine if the event will take place. Very doable and very economical. Also, a local arcade would have $10 Thursdays and we would take the kids out there for a couple of hours before DH had to be to work and they played unlimited games. PS: Feed them before you leave home or pack a cooler with drinks and sandwiches. It saves money. There is also a skate park that charges like $5. Great for boys, especially your boys age if they have. A regular park with a group of friends to run around play basketball or football is another option AND it is FREE!

If your DH is on 3-11 these things would be a little harder to do, but are still doable. Look for things to do earlier in the morning. OH and let me not forget. I do library trips with my kids. They must give me 30 minutes of reading EVERYDAY! Not just school days or when they feel like it. I also buy the Summer Bridge books from the bookstore. The Summer Bridge has activities to keep the kids skill level up. Say your kid finished 6th grade and is headed to 7th. Summer Bridge would review the skills in 6th grade and introduce skills for 7th grade. They have the books for ALL grades from Kindergarten through 12th. My skids HATE them, but they don't lose any skills during summer break. I assign certain pages and they have to do them, neatly and correctly. I then check them later. I would normally assign 10 pages and it would take them less than an hour. No big deal.

Hope this helps you. Hell it may even piss BM off that the kids are actually having fun rather than driving you guys nuts and she may think otherwise for next summer.

People who get on HIGH Horses will find the fall to be most painful. ~ME :->

lil_teapot's picture

I'm going to print this so I can refer to it often.
The problem with fh's shift is that it's 7:45pm until 6:15 am...and with him being the manager, he has to be there before 7:30...and of course he never gets out until 6:45am...talk about putting in the extra hours. But at least it's 4 days a week.
I like your suggestions and am going to go through all of them at home and see what I can find besides the camp they already are enrolled in. What really irks me is that bm makes way more than fh and yet she doesn't pay her fair share...we pay for all their hockey, which costs way more than tutoring, etc. I'm sure since she dumps the kids on us during the days everyday during the summer we'll get stuck paying, so free ideas are great! But fh had been paying for a daycamp thing(which bm didn't pay for)...but another camp would be good if it kept them from tearing the house down.lol

The problem we might run into though is that fh is trying to find another job on days...so we'd both be gone during the day and the skids would be completely alone.

I'm not sure what we should do if we're both working and they're home alone???

The Principlist's picture

Then it is no longer your responsibility. If you are both gone during the days you can not commit to having the kids during the day. It would fall back on BM to find a camp or something else for them to do. If it means that they will be unsupervised they can be unsupervised at BMs. Why drive them to your house to leave them alone? Doesn't make sense.

People who get on HIGH Horses will find the fall to be most painful. ~ME :->

lil_teapot's picture

BM doesn't care about rules or anything...she just dumps them at our house during the day and that's that. Not only that, but everyday she drives PAST their school to our house, drops them off, and they catch the bus TO SCHOOL from our house!!! It's insane!

So, like she's done in the past, she'll just dump them at our house in the morning and they'll be there all day unsupervised unless we come up with something.
They would also be unsupervised at bm's house(she lives in her bf's house). We think her bf won't let the skids be there w/o her there, so she then dumps them on us...its pretty sad for the skids to be so unwanted. But we're glad to have them, we just need to find a safe way to keep them and have them supervised.

smurfy1smile's picture

Find activities for them to do. My kids swim alot in the summer since they are too old to go to daycare. The library is great. We live out of town so I have to drive them but its still worth it. One of the areas movie theaters has doller movies in the summer at like 10:30am every Wed and you can buy tickets for all of them at a discount. Community ed is great also. The boys may be old enough to volunteer somewhere mowing or raking or such for the elderly or disabled.