One Forward-- Loghead and I went out last night! It was our first "real" date in over 6 months. I was continuing my "not talk too much" method. I did not volunteer any information. I asked him some questions about his temp job and a few leads on positions for next fall.

We did not talk about skids or our son. He ignored PITA, who called 3 times before getting the hint dad wasn't going to answer his phone.

He did not ask me about my week, although he knew I had 2 very stressful events take place this week.

So I got my night out, but it was mostly about him- he even picked the restaurant, and he knows I don't really like it.

One Back-- When things loosened up a bit, he was telling me about the log cabin he's building with the boys. He says in another 3 years, when the boys have graduated, and it's just him, me and Gibby, we can move into it and not have to pay a mortgage and save money. I just smiled and said that sounds like a nice plan. He asked me what was wrong with the plan, and I told him nothing, other than the fact he promised me when the skids graduated and moved out, we could move to the town where I work and Gibby goes to school, so he could be closer to his friends... No tone, no accusations.

His response? "I'm not giving up MY life, and MY dream just so you can be closer to work."

I just stared at him in disbelief. We moved here 5 years ago because it was his dream to be a small town principal. It was his dream. I gave up my friends, good job, fancy house, and civilization to move to the hicks, because that's what he wanted. He thought it would be good for the skids to live closer to his family, and live in the country and raise animals and have chores...

His dream job fell apart and he;s changed jobs 3 times, losing his last job in December... We live 5 minutes from his parents and maybe see them once a month. Farm chores? He does it all. Things actually began to fall apart 5 years ago when we moved here...

I'm going to stew on this one awhile. I dont' know what to do with it. It makes me REALLY feel like I am not important around here... Like I'm just to clean and chaufer kids. And since I'm not doing either as a disengaged SM, what good am I to him?