My heart hurts for my exH tonight he had to hear from me his exw (me) that his father is in the hospital, his health due to a rare disease has not been well, he now has a large blood clot in his leg. To add to that his SM has had heart problems as well recently. She now has an aneurism in her brain the doctors are concerned it may burst and surgery is scheduled to try and fix it but it is not in a good or easy place it's risky. He only knew her health wasn't well and though I was told to keep it to myself how could I not make sure the father of my children knows this. They are the grandparents of my babies.
He alienated them through his own selfish doing. They gave him a place to stay that he could take the kids when we separated. Over the years they wrote thousands of dollars worth of checks to us to help when times were hard, to me when he left me once and cleared out our accounts with over a thousand in bills due. He took advantage of their hospitality by taking his friends there all hours of the day and night openly smoking pot in their house selling it from their house ans dumping the kids there while he "ran errands" (went to run pot to his buddies)When his father confronted him and told him that was enough they were not a flop house, a dumping ground for his children he informed his father that he had NEVER done anything for our kids. The thousands they gave us, paying off his car, they dance dresses for our daughter, and paying for both kids full tuition to a private preschool must of been forgotten (since his short term memory is shot)
I stepped out of his family functions because his gf made life difficult if I dared show even if I left before they arrived. Now 2 extremely special people who have been my family too for 20 years, who helped me so much who are my childrens grandparents are not well, my kids miss them exH only has taken the kids to see them at thanksgiving, and Christmas. They weren't even allowed to stay long so exH and his gf could go to a movie. I'd of gone and picked up the kids later they wanted to stay.
I miss my other family. I want them to be okay, and I want to scream "screw you they are my family too damn it, grow up learn to be an adult and deal with the fact I exist and we have kids and they have a right to family!"
It must also be humiliating to know that even though I don't get to see them, the aunts and cousins and I are still close and talk, or else he'd never know what's going on. Maybe he'll finally apologize for what he did, and said to them. Maybe he'll keep being a selfish dick who thinks they were wrong and he was right.
I'm taking my kids to his parents before my mother in laws surgery friday, I don't care what he or gf says or does, I don't care if his parents don't want visitors we're not going to visit, we're going to cook them dinner, do the dishes, fold the laundry, mow the lawn and let them know that after all they did for my kids, it's my turn to pay them back. They won't ever stop being family as my mother in law said "Just because you two are divorcing doesn't mean we're divorcing you, can you put in the divorce that we get to keep you?"