One f@$#ed up family - Continuation of last week's rant!
So just to recap, last time the skids were here, all hell broke loose thanks to SS12. I simply gave him a reasonable consequence for spilling something on SD10's pants (his computer time was postponed), and he started calling me names, threatening violence, trying to hit me, throwing things around the house, and with 3 other kids around (including my 2 yr old). DH told BM what happened and she "grounded" him - what this means exactly, I don't know.
Anyway, today, Sd10 texted DH from her brand new iPod Touch - BM can't afford her own apt (she and the skids are currently shacking up with a friend and HER family), but sure, buy the skids (and yes, the Juvenile Delinquent got one too!) new iPods! SMH
Anyway, DH got into it today with BM about not taking the skids with us this summer on our vacation because of SS12's behaviour. This is the 2nd time he's acted out and it got violent. BM, wanting her free week, started calling him names and undermining his role as the skids' father. So he ended with saying he'd take only SD10, so as to be fair to her. BM wasn't having it, so he just left it at that.
Well, later on, SD10 messaged me on FB about it, asking why she couldn't go. I told her SHE was welcome to come because she's not the one we have trouble with. Then, she asked why SS12 wasn't allowed, so I told her it was because of his explosive behaviour. Then, SHE started going on about how "rude" WE were to SS12 because we "put him down", which we don't AND these were BM's exact words when she was talking to DH, so you can see where it came from. SD10 seemed to forget what happened last time...since she got her iPod, coincidentally. Then she started trying to JUSTIFY SS12 trying to HIT me! SMH DH warned me not to get into it because BM's way of thinking is f@#$ed up, and it rubs off on the kids. She likes to buy their loyalty. This is what I get for trying...
Oh well, that's the last time I waste MY time, trying to be fair. They can enjoy their iPods when they're homeless! I'm DONE!
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Are you sure you were texting
Are you sure you were texting with SD... or had BM used the phone? Just a thought.... esp. seeing the language was similar.
True, but she sent voice msgs
True, but she sent voice msgs from her ipod, but i know she was being told what to say.
Thanks for this. I agree, the
Thanks for this.
I agree, the more I'm out of it, the better. However, when it involves MY house and the safety of MY kids, it's hard for me to bite my tongue.
Instead, I try to be as "nice" and "neutral" about things as I can. I don't give a YES or NO answer, I just say "You can talk to your dad about it".
* UPDATE (and it's a
* UPDATE (and it's a doozy!)*
SS12 just sent a voice msg to DH (using his new iPod, I'm sure) saying "We all need a break, Dad, so shut your mouth! I'm not coming over again ever for the rest of my life!" :jawdrop: DH just texted BM that she's doing "such a great job as a mother" SMH
It was harsh and completely unnecessary - BM must be so bored at home that she encouraged/allowed SS12 to leave his FATHER a msg like this - but DH got to see exactly how his son acts towards people, with complete and utter disrespect. The next person he talks like this to may not take it as lightly and punch the little punk out (the same way he's been threatening to have done to ME!).
I swear, BM is so un-frickin-believable that she would let her son talk to an adult (his father, no less!) in this manner! Her acceptance of this kind of behaviour will eventually lead to her downfall (she's dodged a few big bullets lately), and I'll be there with my popcorn, enjoying the show!
^^ LOLOL!!! If only we were
The way things usually go, BM will hold back the kids for awhile, then when SHE needs a "break", she will get SD10 to call or text DH asking if he can come get them again. BM always uses the kids to guilt trip DH when it was HER to did all this shit. It's pathetic and we see right through it. She'll probably even get SS12 to call and "apologize" and say he wants to come over again, despite what he said/did before. He did this right before Christmas (when she held the kids back) because he and SD10 wanted their Christmas/Bday presents. SMH! SS12 has no conscience whatsoever - he goes right back to his bratty self after he gets what he wants.
(Note: There is no Court Order in play in our situation, which can be good but it also can be bad)
Dh needs to stop adding fuel
Dh needs to stop adding fuel to the fire, shouldn't have text her that imo. He fell right into the trap, and she accomplished what she wanted, getting his mad. The ss is old enough to decide if he wants to visit or not, and you guys can decide if he is to be included or not. Violence would not be accepted, and you're doing the right thing by not taking him. Sounds like it's time to disengage, and I agree with the others..you should not be on FB with those kids.
If ss does come over sometime in the future, let him know beforehand it's only conditional on if he can behave himself. Be hopeful he doesn't ever come over, all I can add, lol.
"The ss is old enough to
"The ss is old enough to decide if he wants to visit or not, and you guys can decide if he is to be included or not. Violence would not be accepted, and you're doing the right thing by not taking him."
And regarding SS12, we can explain to him that his bad behaviour is unacceptable til we're blue in the face - it won't get through his thick, simple-minded skull. He'll just call US "rude" - they don't even know the meaning of the word! So, it's all a lose-lose situation
And BM isn't accomplishing anything - she just lost a free FULL WEEK in the summer! }:) Oh well...
bm laid the ground work for
bm laid the ground work for this call but ss probably made the call.
sd does this shit all the time through the years. he wouldnt even respond and 12 yr olds dont get a choice if there is an active court order so dh needs to follow the normal schedule. and if ss states that shit again dh should tell him it is court ordered and if ss wants it changed bm can file and when and if a jusge changes it then so be it until then ss needs to step down and will treat dh with the respect he deserves or deal with the consequences such as sitting ina room w/ nothing but a bed 24/7 next visitation.