If my DH hears me going back and forth with DD10 he will sometimes interject. This makes DD run away crying all the time. Then I yell at him that he didn't have to be so mean and we end up in an argument. Now I notice when DD10 wants to ask me something she waits until he walks out of the room.

But on the other hand he is very good to my daughter and treats her as his own so I cannot complain. I think he is just trying to help me when he puts his two cents in.

I can see myself in your DH's shoes.

Often times I feel like my FDH doesnt realize that SD4 is a child. He talks to her like she has an option in everything and phrases everything like 'how do you feel about that, would you LIKE to go to bed now?'

Everything is always challenged by her, he rarely gives directions that require her to act NOW. I can see myself chiming in with a direct order when whatever he is saying is getting no where, or shes taking it as an option.

Everytime daddy goes outside, she does not NEED to go. When shes told to go to her room or go potty before we leave, thats not a question, thats direction.

Although I can be more understanding than my FDH when it comes to booboos and pain or hurt feelings, your DH might be irritated with the whole heating pad/stomach thing and was more snippy than you would be if the heating pad was lost.

I used to encourage DH to participate with me and my bios. But as I saw I was not allowed to parent his kids in any way, I decided not to share mine with him. It was a his and ours situation. He wanted to share my kids, act like a dad, but refused to parent his own kids and wouldn't allow me to parent his kids.

I don't allow DH to interject with my kids now. He has 2 disrespectful children, they talk back, yell at him. SD is 12, SS is only 6 and already treats his dad like a POS. My daughters are respectful of DH - that I ensure, but they are well disciplined and I run the show.

We live as separate families in one house.

The older girls being 12 are starting in on using some makeup. SD12 bought in secret mascara and keeps it in her pencil case (BD12 told me) I was taking BD12 to the store to get her some clear mascara. DH says, I don't agree with that. She is too young to wear makeup. I didn't say much, annoyed that he 'gave his 2 cents'. Then he says, I can't believe you didn't ask me. I said ask you what? He says asked me if I thought BD12 should have mascara (this is my daughter, not his remember) I said, well you don't get a say. He was clearly pissed. I said, you need to talk to SD12 - she has mascara in her pencil case at school. He looks all shocked then says, well its likely just doll makeup. I said, no, its not. And we went to the store.

SD of course was not spoken to. This is how it goes. I get no say, he gets no say in my kids either.

Maybe I am missing something but that seems like a very normal interaction to me. Is your daughter overly sensitive to him? If she gets upset just at something as mild as that, I could see her having real problems down the line - not just with him but with teachers or bosses that she does not particularly like telling her what to do. And you are not going to be there to intervene.

Men fix things. This is their job, their thing. She had a problem - he told her how to fix it. I'm missing the problem here.